If you have been following along on my plan to focus each month on a particular aspect of my life, you’ll know that I have already done “Health”, “Career”, “BYSO”-one aspect of my professional life, “Home”, and “Blogging”. Some months were super clear and easy, and others were a bit more difficult and abstract than I thought they would be. God knows I have already had some wrenches thrown into the works (umm, hello computer dying in the middle of “career” month and losing some very valuable work information…oops.). But I am so happy to say that at the end of every single month, I have been able to point to a list of things I accomplished that improved that focus area, and that every single month, I have come away feeling like I have learned a few important things, and have created some sustainable habits that will help continue the progress. I am excited to keep going with this plan, but to be perfectly honest, I am a little apprehensive about this month’s focus: Marriage.
At the beginning of this 12-Month Focus Project, I drew up a list of the 12 most important areas of my life, and then set about assigning a particular month to each area– trying to choose the month that makes the most sense. I was feeling the need hit “reset” on my body after a long summer, so I made September “Health” month, and since I will be seeing lots of family in July, that gets “Family” month. But “Marriage”? well, there IS Valentine’s Day, and I booked my week of concerts in Florida for his half-term break so that he can join me and make it a working holiday. But otherwise, it’s a bit arbitrary. On one hand, we’ve only been married for a couple of years. We are definitely still newlyweds. On the other hand, my marriage is one of THE MOST important things in my life, and I want to cherish and nurture it. In other words, I am more than happy to devote a month to focusing on my marriage, but it’s not like we need any kind of major overhaul. There are no big issues to resolve, and we don’t have kids, so we already get to spend a lot of quality time alone together. So, what should I do?
I decided to take a cue from one of my original inspirations for this whole project: Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. She devoted a month to her marriage as well, and this was her list:
- Quit nagging
- Don’t expect praise or appreciation
- Fight right
- No dumping
- Give proofs of love
Sounds about right. I’ll start with these and add any others that come up. At the very least, at the end of the day (er…month) Paul will be one very happy husband! Wish me luck!