I talk a lot about the idea of “Potential”. As artists, it seems our lifelong pursuit is in reaching it, sometimes losing ourselves (and often our friends and family) in the process. My work as a coach is about helping people reach their own potential–whether that work is about defining it, getting past the mindset obstacles in the way of them reaching it, or figuring out how to both reach that potential AND have a normal healthy life with a family and friends and travel.
Is it possible to achieve your potential if you’re not dedicating every waking moment to your craft? I believe the answer to that question depends on how you define “Your Potential.”
It’s easy to take what you do–cellist, basketball player, singer, dancer, poet, etc. and compare it to whoever is considered the “Best of the Best” in that field. the Yo-Yo Mas, Michael Jordans, Maria Callases, Martha Grahams, and Maya Angelous of the world.
Growing up, wanting nothing more than to have a career as a cellist, I would see the glamorous soloists, hear the stories passed down, and experience my own stories of intermingling with these stars. To my sixteen-year-old self, it made sense that to meet my potential as a cellist meant to be the best cellist in the entire world.
But that’s only one area of my life. At sixteen, it was the only one that mattered–save whoever my latest crush was–but at sixteen, we’re not always aware of what life is all about.
So what happens when we grow up and want to reach our potential as an artist, but also as a spouse, a parent, financially, what if we have additional new pursuits and want to reach our potential as a painter, or an interior designer, or a gardener?
If becoming the best of the best requires 100% focus, then by definition we can’t be the best of the best at more than one thing.
But what if we redefined “Our Potential” to reflect our own personal best? What does that look like? How do we find it? And how do we pursue it?
The Story That Changed Everything…
I once heard a story told, almost as a side note, on a podcast–and what is driving me bananas is that I can’t remember which podcast it was. I thought it was an interview with Tim Ferris and Jonathan Fields, but I cannot find it! Anyway, it’s safe to say it was one of those moments that changed everything for me. My entire book is centered around this question:
What if, when you die, you go to heaven and you’re met by the version of you who reached their potential?
Doesn’t that just stop you in your tracks? I found it both terrifying and fascinating. What would Kate-who-met-her-potential be like?
What was fascinating to me was what she HADN’T done. She wasn’t a superstar Best of the Best Cellist of all the land–and in an instant, I realized that that simply wasn’t that important to me. She had lost these extra pounds I’ve carried around since I was in middle school, and her teeth were straight (wait, I was supposed to WEAR that retainer? Oops) In meeting her, I knew very clearly what her house looked like, what her social life was like, and that she was a writer.
That was the moment I realized that I had always secretly wanted to be a writer, but I had chosen “cellist”, so…oh well. Thankfully, she was still happily married to my husband Paul (phew!)
From the macro to the micro, what became clear to me was not only what I would regret not doing, but also what wouldn’t matter to me in the slightest.
It was like, if I met her and she was a brain surgeon, I’d probably think “Oh, that’s nice for you, but I didn’t miss not being a brain surgeon in my version” But I would look at her perfectly straight teeth and kick myself “Man, all it would’ve taken is a few months of Invisalign!”
I believe we should strive to reach our “fullest potential” but I also believe we need to get honest and quiet, and we have to take the time to define that for ourselves.
Once you have that endpoint in mind, it’s about a) getting there and b) enjoying the process. That is going to look different for all of us, but here are a few exercises I’ve used with clients that can help you get some answers.
1. Define Your Potential Self
Take yourself to that moment of meeting the version of yourself that did all of the things you want to do. Describe them in detail. What do they look like? What have they done? What do they do? What does their house look like? Their car? What do they do in their spare time? Get it all down on paper. Also, pay attention to how they seem. Calm? Happy? Energetic? Warm? Cool?
2. Define the required steps
For each thing you described, define the steps that would be required to accomplish it. Whether they are in your control or not. “Fix crooked tooth” = set up an appointment with the dentist, and come up with a plan. “Get a tenured professorship” could = work on resumé, create and publish a legacy piece–written or performed, apply for jobs and get some interview coaching, network with colleagues, etc. Whatever it is, no matter how out of reach it seems right now, you need to see it as a done deal–That version of you did it, therefore, you can too–and have a list of action steps you can take to get yourself there.
3. Having trouble “seeing it”? Ask yourself “And then what?”
Let’s say your potential self loves to grow their own food, but….to what extent?
Do they build a vegetable garden?
Yes.
And then what?
And they add a greenhouse or polytunnel set up to extend the season with indoor growing.
And then what?
And they get some backyard chickens for fresh eggs.
And then what?
And then they buy some land and start a farm….No….hang on…that’s too much. Just the veggie garden, the greenhouse, and the chickens.
If you push it even a little too far, you’ll know. Find that sweet spot that sounds almost too good to be true, but you’d be so psyched if it happened.
Maybe it’s the point where you’re in demand as a performer, but not to the point where you haven’t seen your kids in 3 months.
Or the point where you have the pick of the litter when it comes to the students you’re teaching, but before the point where you’re teaching 7 days a week between 3 schools.
Or the point where you have a seat at the table, but before you’re the one in charge.
Or maybe you are the one in charge.
It’s up to you. We all want something different, and that’s the whole point.
4. Mini Leaps and High Dives
When it comes to becoming this version of your Potential Self, it’s a combination of small, everyday actions, and a few bigger, perhaps key, jumps out of your comfort zone. If you decide that your Potential self has backyard chickens, then at some point, you’re going to have to build or buy a chicken coop and learn how to raise chickens. At some point, I’m going to have to make that appointment with my dentist to discuss my crooked tooth. At some point, I’m going to have to sign the papers and pay the deposit on the Invisalign.
But the mini leaps will get you closer as well. Booking a concert, tweaking your resumé, going for that first, slow jog…the beginning of your journey to becoming a marathoner. Plant a few bean seeds on the windowsill, write a few notes of your first composition, a few words of your first book.
It all counts. It all gets you closer.
5. Be purposeful and joyful
Ask yourself weekly, “What can I do this week to get myself closer to that ideal, and how can that be fun and enjoyable?” Was your Potential Self anxiety-free because they had saved plenty for retirement and were living the dream? Can you gamify your savings plan to make it more fun (and make sure it happens!)
I like to imagine myself in that original scenario. I somehow meet my Potential Self, and she’s my twin in every way. We high-five each other, flashing our matching perfectly straight teeth. “You did it!” She exclaims, hugging me, and off we go to gather that morning’s eggs from the chicken coop.
Remember, the pursuit of your potential is not a one-size-fits-all journey. It’s about defining what success means to you and taking intentional steps toward that vision while finding joy in the process. Whether through small daily actions or daring leaps out of your comfort zone, each step brings you closer to becoming your fullest self. So, as you navigate your path, keep in mind the version of yourself you aspire to be, and let that vision guide you toward a life of fulfillment and purpose.
If you would like some guidance and support as you navigate towards this incredible version of yourself, let’s talk. I offer 1:1 coaching packages to creatives who are looking to find creative (and financial!) fulfillment, create a legacy they can be proud of, and create that incredibly rewarding life they were always meant to live. Book a free 30-minute discovery call HERE and we’ll see if this is the right fit for you.
Cheers!
Kate
