Tales From The Lane
Living Your Best Life as Creative Artist
5 Ways You Can Generate $5,000 Quickly as an Artist or Musician
I am very excited to share that registration is open for my annual online season kick-off party that is “Thrive-Fest”. This is a free 4-day fall goal-setting and planning challenge where we will take a look at the puzzle that is your life and figure out the most important goals to focus on this year. When you register, you’ll get an email prompt from me each morning starting TOMORROW! September 17-20 with that day’s exercise and prompts, and then I will be doing a short, 30-45 minute live session each day as well to take a slightly deeper dive and answer any questions you may have. If you can’t be there for the live sessions, don’t worry–you know we’ll make those recordings available to you.
Anyway, I hope you’ll join us–this is for anyone interested in making some changes to their lives, and careers, setting and crushing some big goals, or just wanting to do a little reset at the start of this new academic year. You can register right HERE–it takes 2 seconds to register. Two seconds that will lead to you having a mind-blowingly successful year.
Today’s episode is from a blog post I wrote 2 years ago that gets, to this day, a ton of traffic. It’s something that, I think ALL of us have encountered at some point in our lives: Wanting (or needing) to do something important but feeling like we can’t afford it. I offer some really practical and tactical suggestions on how to overcome it, which many Tales from The Lane blog readers have told me have “actually worked!” Yeah–no kidding! I am offering them to you because they worked for me, too!
But more than that, I think people have found that the article helped them with an important mind-shift from “I’m not wealthy–I’m not the kind of person who can afford things like this.” to a more simplified and objective: This thing costs X amount of money, so I need to go find X amount of money to pay for that thing. Done. It’s less about your identity as “not a wealthy corporate exec who can afford luxury or bespoke experiences” or as” I’m a poor artist working 7 days a week to make ends meet. I can’t afford anything”
All this to say, I hope this episode is helpful to you–whether you are in need of some quick cash, or you just need a little identity/mindset shift around finances.
Scene: A 14-year-old, promising young cellist named Kate is told by her teacher that she really needs to attend her first big summer festival that year. The festival in question was 6 weeks long, and cost a lot of money. Money that we simply didn’t have, according to my mom. Her answer was quick and clear:
“No. We don’t have that kind of money.”
My dad, however, had a different take. I mean, we still didn’t have that money just lying around, but his attitude was:
“It’s only money. You can always make more.”
And he looked in the paper for a part-time job. He found one driving a newspaper delivery truck and did that for a few months until he had made enough to cover the fees. (thanks, dad!)
That festival changed everything for me–the teachers I got to work with, the friends I made, and having that “brand name” on my resume work their magic to this day, and I will always be grateful that he made the sacrifice of his time and energy. Mostly, I’m grateful that he taught me that there is always a solution to be found when it matters.
And now that I’m on the OTHER side of it. The side that my teacher was on when she knew that going to a big summer festival would be the catalyst I needed to reach conservatory-level playing, I know the heartbreak she must have felt for me when at first, we said “No. We can’t afford it.”
The heartbreak for me comes when I meet someone in a discovery call, and they’re desperate to do a program of mine like Creatives Leadership Academy or 1:1 work because they know it’s the exact thing they need to move the needle forward, but they can’t afford the fee.
“I want to do this so badly, but I just don’t have the money.” Is something I hear a lot.
Sometimes the money truly isn’t there. Sometimes the person just feels guilty spending it “on themselves” (forgetting that eventually, they’ll be bringing in MORE money for the whole family.)
And I get it! The price tag on live coaching programs can be steep. I was recently asked to join one that costs $75,000 for a year! Yes–you read that correctly.
I said no, but not because of the money. I said no because the coach’s area of expertise, though AMAZING, is not where I need or want to focus my growth this year. If they HAD been exactly what I needed right now? I would have found a way. I would have found a solution. Hell, I would have driven a delivery truck for a few months.
“It’s only money. You can always make more.”
But I’d love to take a moment to show you how you can create a fairly significant sum of cash in a relatively short period of time, without having to resort to such extreme measures as my dad.
You see, artists and creatives are actually at an advantage. For us, more money doesn’t always have to come from more time. People are willing to pay for our expertise; for the value we can bring to them–not the hours we spend giving it to them. Think about it– If you pay top dollar for the best hair stylist in town, do you really care if it takes them 2 hours or 20 minutes? As long as your hair looks great, right?
Here are 5 Methods I have used, and have seen others use successfully to bring in a quick influx of cash:
1. The Rinse and Repeat method:
In the Rinse and Repeat method, you draw on what you naturally do well. The thing that comes easy to you. That could be a show that you put together–a solo recital if you’re a musician, an art workshop, a Salsa dance workshop, or a theater production that is highly mobile. and shop it around.
Churches, community centers, schools, house shows, anything within driving distance. You’ll need to sell 250 $20 tickets to make $5000. If you can do 8 shows, and get around 30 people to come to each one. You’ve got it. Raise the ticket price to $25, and you only need to sell 200. The show is the same each time, so you only need to create one thing. The work comes from the emails, phone calls, and promotion of the event, but the enormous bonus of all that work is that at the end of the day, not only do you have that $5000 you needed, but you have just grown your audience, created and strengthened important connections and relationships. Bonus: chances are, those places will be thrilled to have you come back again with your next creation.
2. The Catch a Wave Method:
This one is all about catching an incoming wave and adding your own knowledge and skills to that pre-existing event. Find out what events are happening in your industry soon, and then put together a workshop geared toward the people who would be participating in that event. Examples: All-state ensemble auditions on the horizon? Teach a workshop for your instrument that goes over the piece, scales, and sight-reading, with mock auditions at the end. $150 per person for a half-day workshop? You’ll need 34 people to sign up. Or is there an upcoming open-call art show? Teach a framing workshop or an open studio day where you help people finish their pieces. Nutcracker auditions for the kiddos? You get the idea. Put yourself in the participants’ shoes. What are they nervous about? What is the missing piece of the puzzle for them? How can you help them get prepared?
3. The Slow Burn Method:
The simplest method, but perhaps slightly less ground-breaking, is to take on another student or two. No matter what you teach–it can be a private piano student, or someone you tutor after school. Where you live, and who you teach goes into what you can charge for each lesson, but for many of my clients, taking on an additional 90 minutes of teaching per week brings in around $5000 over the 10-month school year.
4. The Elimination Method:
I’m not going to take away your avocado toast or your coffee. (Believe me, I would NEVER take away someone’s coffee!) But most of us can “find” an extra $5000 by NOT spending it on certain things. When my husband and I cut out drinking for a month–which we do a couple of times a year, we end up saving about $1000 each time. That’s just one thing. I remember when I was early in my freelance life, a group of us always went out for dinner between the dress rehearsal and the concert. One time, though, a couple in that group whipped out a couple of sandwiches and some carrots and celery sticks. And said they’d meet up with us for a coffee later. They were saving up for a down payment on their first home and decided they would cut out eating out for a few months. It worked like a dream–they were able to add an extra $5000 to their down payment when they found their dream house.
Get creative with solutions, because little things really do add up. Can you use up all of those travel-sized hotel toiletries instead of buying new bottles of shampoo and conditioner? Can you go three months without buying any new clothes? See it as a fun challenge rather than a burden, and when you compare this month’s spending compared to last month’s, count the difference towards your $5000.
I’ll add a couple of other “found money” ideas here as well: Do you have things around the house that you could sell? Putting clothes and accessories that you no longer use (but are in good condition) up on Poshmark, or Selling that furniture that has been taking up space in your basement on Facebook marketplace–hell, have a yard sale! Especially if you live near a college town, people are often looking for inexpensive ways to furnish their new apartment, and it can add a few hundred dollars or more towards that $5000 goal.
And, of course, looking through your monthly subscriptions. There was one period of time when I was freelancing that I was going to be traveling for most of two months. I put my gym membership on hold (I didn’t want to lose my amazing rate altogether, and by pausing it, I only had to pay a portion of my monthly fee) and I canceled other things that I knew I wasn’t going to be using over those two months. Every month, when I’m doing my personal and business finances, I look through all of those little payments to apple, google, and random apps and software that I needed for a season, and cancel them if I’m no longer using them.
5. Ask-and-You-Shall-Receive Method.
Look into grants and professional development funds. The school where I taught in Boston helped pay the expenses of my CD recording project. Several clients have had PD funds awarded for their coaching work with me, and there are grants available for all sorts of projects. A quick google search will get you started and take you in the right direction of where to look, and of course, if you do work for an organization, ask about those PD funds!
Like I said before, I have used all of these methods myself with great success, and I have seen numerous clients use them with great success. If there is something out there that you would love to do “if only you had the cash”, I want to encourage you to get creative and have fun with this.
How many money-making activities can you think of? What happens if you do some weekend car-washes with your kids, tutor some kids after school, take on 1 adult student who fits easily into your schedule, cut down on the grocery bill, put on a show or concert in a couple of different places? Take some never-wear-anymore favorites from your closet over to a consignment shop. Sell a few of the beautiful scarves you knit for fun in your free time. Have a houseplant sale with baby plants you propagated from your own. It all adds up.
What happens if you:
- Do some weekend car-washes with your kids?
- Tutor some kids after school
- Take on 1 adult student who fits easily into your schedule
- Cut down on the grocery bill
- Take some never-wear-anymore favorites from your closet over to a consignment shop.
- Sell a few of the beautiful scarves you knit for fun in your free time.
- Have a houseplant sale with baby plants you propagated from your own.
Which one of these would work best for you? Have you tried any of them? Leave a comment and let me know.
Because if there is something you want or need– if it’s calling to you and your gut is telling you that this is something that can really turn everything around for you. Then I’m here to say there are ways to come up with the money you need. There’s always a solution.
“It’s only money. You can always make more.”
So whatever it is that is sitting there in front of you–waiting to change your life for the better, don’t let it pass you by!
And don’t forget that my free annual online community challenge, Thrive Fest, starts up tomorrow, September 17th, and runs until Friday, September 20th. Over those 4 days, we’re going to set some big goals, and we’re going to plan your fall (or your year!) in a way that guarantees you will reach those big goals. And if any of those big goals and dreams that are rattling around in your head require a chunk of change that you don’t see in your bank account, well, now you have no excuses. Let’s go! Let’s make those dreams your new reality this year.
All it takes to join us is a quick sign-up. You’ll get an email each morning from me with that day’s prompts and action steps, and then, if you’re free, you can join me for a quick Live session at 12 pm ET where I’ll do a deeper dive into the topic of the day and share my own process of goal setting and yearly planning. On Friday, we’ll do more of a Masterclass type setup where you can get in-the-moment coaching from me on your ideas, goals, and the obstacles that might be standing in your way.
Thrive Fest is one of my favorite times of the year, not only do we have fun, but people come away with deeper clarity about how they want this year to go, and what they need to do to make that happen. So sign up today so that you don’t miss any of it. And if this week is just jam-packed for you? Sign up anyway and save the emails and video recordings for when the time is right.
I’ll see you soon, my friend! Have a great one.
Cheers!
Kate
P.S. Interested in working together this year? Creatives Leadership Academy is open for enrollment! If you’re wondering if this is the right program for you, book a call SOON so we can chat about it! I’d love to help you reach those goals this year, and CLA or 1:1 coaching might just be the thing for you.
The One Thing Keeping You From Thriving (and how to fix it)
My paternal grandfather, Ohan Kayaian, passed away when I was just 3 months old. I have no memories of him—just a faded photograph of a very old man holding a tiny little baby. So everything I know about “Pa” I know from stories my dad would share about him.
There’s one that he repeated more often than the others. “My Pa always said” it would begin. “That if your family was healthy, and you had a roof over your head, food to eat, and no one was trying to kill you, you had everything.”
And according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, you did have everything—at least for his first 2 tiers–with physiological and safety needs being met. Thanks to the strength and resilience of my grandparents surviving the Armenian massacre in Turkey and being marched out of their ancestral homes through the desert, thanks to the Jordanian refugee camps that kept them safe and alive until they could settle elsewhere, and thanks to the United States who took them in as immigrants and gave them jobs and a chance at stability, and thanks to the incredible sense of community they found with their neighbors and fellow displaced Armenians, they made it all the way to Tier 3: family, friendships, a sense of connection and belonging.
What Does Maslow Have to Do With All This?
And that’s about where things stopped. For those of you unfamiliar with the work of Psychologist Abraham Maslow’s work, he proposed that there are different stages of growth in human development and that people are most motivated by the desire to fulfill their needs in the next tier up.
Shaped like a pyramid, The bottom tier is physiological needs—air, water, food, sleep, shelter, heat, clothes–basic survival stuff. And the stuff that my grandparents were not taking for granted in 1915.
The next tier up is safety needs–Health, personal safety, emotional safety, and financial safety. These are the things they were able to find once they made it safely to the United States. After that comes a sense of belonging and love: intimacy, friendships, community, etc. And then comes esteem needs: Respect, a sense of accomplishment or prestige
And then, in the highest tier (and this is the simplified version of the pyramid) is self-actualization. This tier includes the fulfillment of one’s potential, having creative pursuits, and reaching aesthetic goals.
So many creative people exist vocationally in the 4th or even 5th tier, but because they are struggling with financial or emotional safety, everything feels like a mess. Often they aren’t sure where that dissonance is coming from. They feel like they should be happy, but they’re not. The reason, most likely, is that there is some need in a lower tier that hasn’t been met yet. It’s the thing that is keeping them from fully thriving.
The idea of striving towards self-actualization has come to be one of those typical American ideals. It’s not enough for us just to “Be”. We want to thrive. My friends and family members outside of the US love to make fun of us Americans for being so ambitious, but I’ve noticed that they generally sit there poking fun at us from their beautiful houses in the beautiful countryside, hosting summer parties for large groups of friends and family members under the bougainvillea-covered pergolas with platters of perfectly cooked food made from the freshest of ingredients. They’ve just already made it to where we want to go!
And on the other side of that coin, there are people all over the world who are desperately trying to survive. Like my grandparents, their lives are under threat every single day. There is no platter of perfectly cooked food. There might not even be any food.
And so, with their daily realities heavy in my heart, it is with a deep appreciation for what my grandparents endured that I even have a CHANCE at thriving. They crawled (literally) their way up to that third tier so that I might have a chance at the higher tiers.
There’s a tagline in my podcast intro that says we’re here to talk about how you can Thrive, instead of merely Survive, and that’s what we’re going to talk about today.
What Does it Mean to Thrive?
To me, the idea of thriving means to get oneself into those upper tiers, and we can’t fully BE in those upper tiers until we’ve fulfilled the basic human needs in the lower tiers.
When clients come to me feeling tremendous anxiety about their career, it’s usually because they don’t yet have financial security. Maybe they’re doing great work, but not getting paid enough, or maybe they’re spending beyond their means, but either way, that “looks fancy on paper” career isn’t going to feel very thrivy if they are buried in credit card debt. Deep down, they don’t feel safe.
More often than not, though, people who work with me are trying to get up into that next tier. To go from happy and secure and loved to respected and admired by their peers. Or from respected and admired up to Creative Self-Actualization and the fulfillment of their potential. While things, on the surface, are perfectly fine, they know in their hearts that they have more to give, and they want help getting there.
I think it’s human nature to want to reach upward. To grow, to transform, to be the best version of ourselves. The question is how can we all Thrive a little bit more this year? What does that take? And how does one start?
We start by looking at all of those tiers and making sure we have what we need from each tier. Because if something is lacking, it’s going to stand in our way.
Tier One: Physiological Needs
Do you have food, shelter, heat, water, and clothes? No? Then that’s where we start. Let’s find some resources that can help you get on your feet. (or, off your feet and into a warm bed.) Your plan for this year might be to find a place to live, and to figure out how you can create or increase your income. Maybe that’s by doing some odd jobs, maybe it’s working at Starbucks. We just want to get your physiological needs met.
Tier Two: A Sense of Safety
Do you have physical, emotional, and financial security? Are you healthy? No? Okay, let’s address it. What do you need? A new place to live? A restraining order? A mental health professional? To pay off your debts? How much more do you need? Do you need to start exercising? To see a doctor? To start eating better? Your focus this fall should be to address those issues and fulfill that human need for safety and security.
Tier Three: Love and Connection
Do you have a sense of community support? Connection with others? Love? Friendships? Intimacy (which, btw, can mean different things to different people.) No? Then let’s work this year on building that. Join a group of like-minded people–a sports team, a local community group, a church, synagogue, mosque, or temple, hell, start a book club! Put yourself out there and meet people. The feeling of belonging and connection is key to living a long and healthy life. It’s one of the main findings of research done on Blue zones–the places around the world with the highest number of people living well over the age of 80.
Do you already have that strong sense of community, love, and belonging? Okay, we can move on.
Tier Four: Esteem Needs
Do you have a sense of accomplishment, prestige, and the respect you’d like from your peers? No? Then that is where you put your focus on this year. What would you like to accomplish? How can you make a bigger (or better) impact with your work? What kind of project would bring you the prestige you want? And how can you work to earn respect from your peers? That’s going to be your project for this year. For a lot of creatives, this stems from PR and visibility. You’re putting out great work that you believe in, but no one seems to be noticing. That feels awful. Make this the year you tackle your visibility goals and gain some traction in that area.
Tier Five: Self-Actualization
Do you have all of the above in place already? Awesome. Now it’s time for you to start working on the 5th tier. According to Maslow, the 5th tier is all about self-actualization, and moves from a need for cognitive achievement—the pursuit of creative projects and goals (something most people here have long been working on—even without having earlier stages solidified) followed by a desire for greater aesthetics—which can be anything from having the freedom and desire to appreciate the beauty of nature to the desire to improve one’s home or environment to wanting to improve one’s appearance. It can be the platters of gorgeous food served under the bougainvillea-covered pergola. And following that is what he calls “true self-actualization” the desire to reach your full potential in all areas of your life.
How Do We Get There?
So to answer the question, “How do we set out to Thrive?” I’d say it depends on where you’re starting from, and that is going to be different for everyone. We all have something different that we need to work on before we can feel fully ready for the next tier–not that you can’t work on beautifying your home (Tier 5) while you’re working on building a sense of Community (Tier 3), but you might find yourself sitting alone in your beautiful house wondering why you’re still so unhappy and unfulfilled.
The trick is to identify the one thing that is holding you back. That need– and it could be 2-3 tiers below you–that you never quite resolved. Spending some time this year improving that area would be an incredibly good investment of your time and energy, and could be just the game-changer you’ve been searching for. It will unlock everything else.
Those of you who have been around for a while know that each year, I run a free multi-day event that I call Thrive Fest. Thrive Fests have looked different throughout the years. Sometimes it’s a month of small daily tasks. Sometimes it’s a 4-Day challenge, and sometimes it’s been a combination of the two.
I’m excited to announce this year’s Thrive Fest, which will be taking place from Tuesday, September 17th, through Friday, September 20th. Over those 4 days, we’ll be identifying which tier we’re currently in, which one we’re trying to move towards, and what is getting us stuck. And I’ll show you ways to get unstuck, and how to make a plan to truly thrive this year.
Again, everyone will be coming in at a different tier. You might need to make a plan to:
- Get your taxes straightened out
- Negotiate a raise or a Work-from-home arrangement
- Learn how to invest
- Grow your audience or your business ( and your income!)
- Get that promotion (or that first job)
- Get fit and healthy once and for all
- Actually write that book you’ve been thinking about for ages (I’ve got some fresh tips on that one!)
- Fix up your house, or start that garden you’ve been dreaming about.
- Build a stronger sense of community, work on your marriage, or strengthen the bonds you have with your friends.
Whatever it is, wherever you’re starting, I can promise you that after 4 days, you will already be on your way, and you’ll already see a difference in your life. Self-actualization is within reach for all of us. We just need to be willing to get ourselves there.
I hope you’ll join me, and hundreds of other people in the TFTL community for this year’s Thrive Fest, and I hope you’ll bring your friends. Again–it’s free, it’s online (just 45 minutes each day), and if you can’t be there live, there will be recordings and emails with each day’s prompts. I’ll put the registration link in the show notes and you can find it on my Instagram profile as well (oh–and please come and join me over there! I’d love to meet you)
Here’s to Thriving more this year! See you soon.
Kate
P.S. Save your spot for Thrive Fest ’24 right here!
The 8 Questions You Should Be Asking About Your Career
If you’re reading this podcast in real time, the calendar has recently tipped over from “mid-August” into “Late August”, and if you’re anything like me, you’re doing a constant dance between “please don’t let summer ever end” and “let’s just get on with it, shall we?”
I’m lucky this year. I’ve had a wonderful summer (save for that nasty flu I got) and I also have an exciting fall coming up.
But that hasn’t always been the case.
There were many years when I was staring at my September calendar with dread. With the myriad of teaching jobs, meetings, administrative duties, and rehearsals looming, my head would start to swim. Was I really going to do it all AGAIN for another whole year? COULD I do it all again?
Add to that, the usual calls and emails that come in this time of year offering new students, new jobs, and new gigs. My clients are going through this as well–in fact, it just came up in a client call this afternoon. I keep getting Voxers from them telling me about exciting new job offers. Then less excited Voxers about the slightly insulting salary offered, and then the confused Voxers wondering what to do about it all.
And since so many of us seem to be faced with this, and it’s not just in the arts, right? I have non-artist friends who are being asked to join a new board, take on an extra role at work, or coach their kid’s soccer team.
This is the time of year when new things pop up, just as we are wondering if we are excited about going back to do the things we were doing before.
I have a process that I take all of my clients through that can help shed some light on all of it, to help you make the best possible decisions. After all, time is our greatest resource and we should be as intentional as we can about how we spend it. These are the 8 questions you should be asking yourself about the work that you are doing that will help you make these decisions.
If you’re listening to this while you’re driving or walking or otherwise unable to write, you’ll want to listen to the whole process now, and then write everything down when you can. (you can always listen to it again 😉
You’ll need a piece of paper, a pen, and a rough idea of how much you were paid for your various jobs last year.
Question 1 is simple: What are you doing?:
Down the left-hand side of the paper, write down a list of jobs you do. You can break them down however you want: Performing as one job, or listing each group or type of performing “solo, chamber, group x, group y,” etc. include volunteer work that you do as well, and if you have household/childcare duties inherent in your life, write those down too.
In the next column we have question 2: What is the percentage of your yearly income that each job brought in last year?
Do NOT write in a dollar amount, Only a percentage. I know—but I never said there wouldn’t be math on Tales from The Lane. go hit pause and get your calculator.
This is usually the first eye-opening moment for a client–and it was for me the first time i did this exercise. When I discovered that this job that seemed SO important to my bottom line, was only bringing in 15% of my income?
The next column over to the right is about the amount of time this job takes up. Include EVERYTHING. Let’s say you are an adjunct professor at a college and you only have 4 students. That’s 4 hours a week of teaching…..+ a 2-hour studio class each month….plus a 2-hour faculty meeting…..+ attending their performances or other extra-curricular activities because you are a supportive teacher, + the writing of letters of recommendation,…+ the 20-minute commute that is actually a 45-minute commute each way because of the construction that they’ve been doing and because it takes forever to find a parking spot. It all adds up. On paper, it’s 4 hours a week. In actuality, it’s 10.
Now that you know how much time a job is REALLY taking up, the next column over is the amount of joy this job brings to your life. On a scale of 1-10, where does this fall?
Next column, Scale of 1-10, how much STRESS does this job bring you? Do you lie in bed awake at 3am worried about it? Or is it an easy-peasy kinda job?
The next question is: Is it scalable? Can you do more of it? If you teach—privately, or at a school, then it’s scalable to a point—you can raise your rates and scale your income, and you could take on more students, but only until you run out of hours to teach them. Could you teach them in groups? Could you add more offerings? If you’re selling a product, can you produce more? Or raise the prices? If the job is to be the operations manager of an arts organization, then that’s not scalable. The job is what it is.
So jot down if it’s scalable, and how you might scale it.
The next question, and column, is this: What else do you gain from this position? Perhaps you get a bit of status within the community for your position on the board. Or maybe the adjunct teaching job comes with a performance space and a teaching studio with a nice piano in it–maybe it provides you with yearly professional development funds or a recording studio. Perhaps the university affiliation alone is a big perk?
And the final question: Is this job leading you TOWARDS your ideal career and lifestyle, or AWAY from them? If you were to reverse-engineer things back from your ideal situation, would this position make sense as a stepping stone? Or would it look like a strange detour? Of course, we have to look at things from all angles. It could be that the position itself isn’t a stepping stone, but the additional income at this time is going to pay for the classes that ARE the stepping stone. Only you can decide if the income producer is worth the time and effort to pay for the classes.
It’s possible that on paper, this job offer doesn’t look like a great deal, but it puts you on a direct path toward what you want. This is especially true for people who are in their 20s–or if you’re switching careers and just starting out. Having access to an important mentor is going to be far more helpful than a higher-paying detour-inducing job.
It’s possible that just going through the motions of this exercise has given you the clarity you need, but if you still have some decisions to make, having this information in front of you should help.
And this is why it’s important that we use percentages instead of dollar amounts for our income column. It’s easier to think about giving up 10% of your income and replacing it with something else. It’s really hard to give up a $10,000 paycheck. Thinking of it as a percentage takes the emotion out of it and turns it into simple math (apologies to my mathematician friends–I realize you do get quite emotional about the beauty of math, but you get my point here).
The job that sucks up twice as many hours as it should, is causing a stomach ulcer, and only brings in 8% of your income and the only perks it brings are things that you can get elsewhere? Buh-Bye!!!
But now….let’s not just give up 8% of your income. If a new job offer that has just come in covers it, great. You’ve now cleared the space for that new position. But if there isn’t a new offer on the table (yet!) Then look at some of the other jobs that are left that maybe you could scale a bit.
Do you teach, or do freelance consulting/writing work? How many more students/clients would you need per month to cover that 8%? Or, if it’s been a while, maybe it’s time for a justifiable rate increase. How much more would you need to charge per hour to spread that 8% out over your entire student or client base?
This exercise arms you with all of the information you need to make necessary and positive changes to your upcoming year:
- Which jobs are you ready to move on from? It’s time to craft that email and look for possible replacements.
- Which jobs have slowly increased your hours and responsibilities, but not your pay? It’s time to set up a meeting and an overdue contract negotiation.
- Which jobs are causing you undue stress? Why? Is there anything you can do to mitigate that stress? Conversations that could be had? Help that could be brought in? A conflict mediator, or just some support from your boss?
- Which jobs have a ton of benefits and perks that you haven’t been taking advantage of? Did it suddenly occur to you that you’re leaving money on the table? I got my entire CD recording project covered by various PD funds I had discovered!
You’re so good at what you do, and you deserve to be excited about this upcoming school year. If you’re feeling any sense of dread, I encourage you to take yourself through this exercise. I can promise you’ll gain some interesting insights. It might help you decide to give notice, renegotiate your contract, or scale up the things you love.
It might also help you to see that there are some gaps in what you’re doing and that you don’t have things in place to get you to where you want to be next. You can make this year a bit of a runway to get those things in place.
Either way, I am wishing you a wonderful end to your summer. May the school supply lists be manageable, and the faculty meetings short.
Cheers,
Kate
P.S. I’ll be opening up some 1:1 Coaching slots this fall, and enrollment for my 9-month Creatives Leadership Academy will be opening up in a few weeks. If you’re wondering whether either of those might be just what you need at this point in your life or career, you can schedule a 30-minute, no-obligation call with me HERE.
Out of Office: The Importance of Taking Time Off
I have just returned home from a 2.5-week vacation in England, and some thoughts I’ve had lately around taking time off, why it’s imperative that we TAKE time off, and HOW to take time off really solidified for me. I wanted to share them with you all today, while we still have a few weeks of summer holidays left, in case you’re contemplating a little getaway of your own.
My husband is from the UK, so we travel there every summer to see family and friends and usually take a side trip on our own while we’re over there. This year we went to Cornwall, which was absolutely charming and delightful—except that I had the flu the whole time. We’re talking nausea, fever, congestion—the works! I tried to be a trooper, so I loaded up on meds and headed out to see all the many (MANY) sites Cornwall has to offer. Luckily, all the things to do and see in Cornwall are outside, and it wasn’t crowded. I didn’t worry that I might be spreading my germs around.
I was pretty miserable though. I was exhausted from a busy work period (one of my sprints) and was desperate to slow down and catch my breath. My husband, however, thought it would be fun to drive around to different places every day and stay in different hotels. The places he chose were fantastic. Castles, places made famous by history and literature, and all-around beautiful places, but it meant waking up, pulling wrinkled clothes out of a suitcase, re-packing the rest, checking out, driving around all day, finding the next hotel, and doing it all over again.
For him? That’s exciting, and that excitement and constant stimulation is how he relaxes. For me? It just exhausts me further.
But again, I was sick as a dog anyway, so at least my misery was combined into a 2-for-1 deal.
After 6 days in Cornwall, we went to the Isle of Wight, where my husband was taking part in the annual week-long “Cowes Week” sailing regatta. This was the week that I needed desperately. Finally feeling a bit better, staying in the same Airbnb for all 5 days, and with time and space to myself, I was able to fully relax, unpack my suitcase (hang up my dresses!) do some writing, reading, shopping, and get inspiration from new sights and sounds. Some dear friends from Ohio happened to be in the south of England as well and came down to Cowes to spend a day with us.
In the evenings, when Paul was finished and recovered from sailing each day, and I had written and read and shopped to my heart’s content, we would go out for dinner and walk around town a bit. I slept 8 hours a night, ate ice cream, drank Sauvignon Blanc overlooking the water, and refilled my well.
We had a bit of a bumpy re-entry due to a serious lack of judgment exhibited by our housesitter, but now that the dust is settling, I am excited to get back to work. I had the time off I needed, but more importantly, I had the KIND I needed.
So, Why is it important to take time off—especially for those of us who work at a craft? I remember one of my cello mentors bragging to me about how he had never in his life taken more than 1 day off from practicing. And that he rarely traveled without his cello. His wife sat there rolling her eyes. “It’s the worst,” she said–looking a bit sad.
These days, he DOES take more time off from the instrument. He hikes, relaxes, reads, and spends time with his growing family. He seems a lot happier for it, too! Is he less respected and revered as a cellist? Not one iota.
When we are steeped in our craft–whether that is painting, making music, or manipulating spreadsheets, it can be hard to get an eagle-eye view of things. We can start to obsess over the tiniest details (which, to be fair, is what sets the greats apart from the merely good) but it’s important to step back now and again and get a bit of perspective. Only by being away from our main industry and seeing the world through different lenses, can we get that view.
And mentally and physically, taking time away is incredibly important. There is no question the world is experiencing a mental health crisis at the moment. Part of that stems from the intense, 24/7 hustle culture we’ve experienced over the last 20 years. We have all been put under this collective pressure to be productive ALL THE TIME. I mean, I talk a lot about how to stop wasting time, how to work more efficiently, and how to streamline processes, but that’s not so that we can work MORE. it’s so we can relax more while still getting our work done!
Another struggle I see many artists encounter is the fact that their entire sense of identity is tied to their craft. The thought of not being able to do it, of not being “good enough” at it, of getting a career-ending injury, or not getting the opportunities they need and want create such a high level of anxiety that they become utterly frozen and unable to create.
Taking time off, and away from one’s craft allows us to expand our sense of identity. Your role as an artist might be the biggest and most important part of your identity (at least right now) but it doesn’t need to be the ONLY part of your identity. Knowing that you are a full human being with other interests and abilities can ease that anxiety.
So I implore you—please make sure you are taking time off. I encourage everyone to take out their yearly calendars and schedule in their time off FIRST, and then schedule work around that.
Next year, I’m even considering going full European and taking the entire month of August off. I know not everyone can do that—thankfully I am married to a teacher so we have that time. I intend to make the most of it!
Okay, so we’re all in agreement now that we’ll actually be better at what we do if we take time away from it.
The first step is to Determine what you NEED from this time off
Are you exhausted? Are you feeling stuck and uninspired? Are you bored? The question I like to ask is “What is missing right now that this time off can replenish”
- The luxury of time to cook and relax over long meals
- Quality time with good friends
- Connection with my family
- A sense of romance with my partner
- A feeling that I am an adventurous person
- Sleep
- Time to read the ever-growing stack of books
- Space to find answers to the questions that keep bubbling up
- Uninterrupted time to work
- New ideas
Sometimes it’s a combination of several of these things, but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible. Uninterrupted time to work + A feeling that I am an adventurous person = book a treehouse in Costa Rica and write from amongst the clouds.
Step 2 Figure out your personal default relaxation style
What makes you feel ready for a new week? Feeling like you really made the most of a weekend or Quiet introspection? Would you rather spend a Sunday afternoon going for a family bike ride, followed by a trip to the county fair, followed by some time wandering around a local museum? Or would you prefer to sit on your back porch with an iced tea and a good book?
If it’s the former, then make sure you plan loads of fun activities on your trip. A big city or an exciting long-distance hike might be just the thing to disconnect you from work and fill you with inspiration.
If it’s the latter, you might want to consider picking one home base for your time off. A house on a lake for a week. Where you can read, swim, cook, paint, whatever you want. Others can hike, kayak, and explore to their hearts’ desires. You can rest.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you can’t do, or enjoy the other way. It’s just going to require a different energy from you. If you’re more of the adventurous, need-to-be busy all the time type that is heading off for a week at a lake house? You might want to bring some books that you’re excited to read, or a project that you can work on at the house, or a challenging jigsaw puzzle. If you’re more inclined to rest, and you’ve agreed to go on a 5-day backpacking trip? Just know that it’s going to be more draining than rejuvenating, but it’ll be worth it. (and be sure to plan a couple of rest days along the way, or just after).
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. Are you craving a lush outdoor meal cooked and shared with many friends? Ask for it.
Do you need everyone to leave you alone for 2 hours each morning so that you can write and meditate? Ask for that uninterrupted time.
Step 3: Respect the differences
Different people traveling with you have their own list of What they need, and how they relax. It might not be possible to make everyone happy all the time, but as long as everyone gets a bit of what they need, and as long as everyone understands what the other people need, you can make it work.
- You can go on an activity-filled camping trip—as long as there are periods of quiet rest and reading time at the campsite each evening.
- You can spend a week in a secluded cabin—as long as you plan a couple of day trips to the closest city or museum, or rent mountain bikes for those who want a bit more stimulation.
- You can have everyone in the travel party plan a day to their liking, and everyone goes along with it. Or, if it’s a large party, provide options for everyone to do what they please on any given day.
Step 4 Give Yourself a Buffer
The African safari, the trip to Antarctica, the hike to Machu Picchu. Oh? Do you have the same list? That’s right. Even though I know that to feel fully relaxed, I need quiet downtime, there are things in this world that I’d love to see (or see again) that require that I get pretty active.
It would be a huge mistake for me to leave for this kind of trip the day after a big event, or immediately following a big work sprint. My brain will spend the first few days of the trip wondering if everything is okay—checking the work email multiple times, worrying about clients, etc. I know myself well enough to know that I need a solid week between intense work mode and time off mode. In that week, I’m still working. Putting things to bed, dealing with changes that need to be made, wrapping it up, doing a post-mortem, whatever it is. Putting things away and properly closing the book on it.
I once took a group of 10 students to Kenya to film a documentary. The Music Director in charge of the sponsoring organization left on an earlier flight to go on a sailing trip in Italy–no wifi, no internet—no reaching him. Even when the rest of us got stranded first in Nairobi, then Johannesburg, then in London. FOR DAYS. No help. We were on our own. We handled it, of course, but he still feels terrible. Always give yourself a buffer between a work sprint and a big trip.
By the time I’m headed off on the trip, I’m ready. My brain has unwound itself from its previous task and has had time to start thinking solely about the trip and the exciting anticipation of it all.
Likewise, give yourself a bit of a buffer on the way back, too. Try not to return from a trip the day before you have to start your next work project. A) your flight might be delayed/canceled, etc. Your luggage might get lost. You might have to spend an entire day cleaning the mess your degenerate housesitter left for you. It’s just so nice to have a whole day of puttering before you have to get back into work mode. Laundry, go through the mail, stock up on groceries, and plan the week ahead.
Step 5: Learn to go with the flow
It’s going to rain. You’re going to get a cold (or the flu). Your flight will be delayed or canceled. There will be a train strike. There will be a flat tire on the rental car. The site you planned the whole day around will be closed because of a plumbing issue.
These moments are upsetting and believe me, I want to lose it like anyone else. But at the end of the day, you’re going to have memories of this. And those memories are either going to be that something went wrong and you went ballistic, or that something went wrong, and this is the fun and funny way we made the best of it. It’s the difference between creating tension for the rest of the trip and putting everyone on edge, and keeping things relaxed and easy-going.
I’m admittedly not great at this—particularly when I’m tired and It involves something that I didn’t really want to do in the first place, but my friend Sandy is AMAZING at it. She is seriously the most go-with-the-flow person I have ever met. And I lived with her for 2 years, so I know it’s legit. The result is that everyone always looks forward to spending time with her because we know there will be no dramas, you know it’s going to be fun, and there’s no worry that something might go wrong. So whenever I find myself In these moments I just ask myself “How would Sandy act?” and I do that.
Step 6: Set a few intentions, (including some easily attainable ones) for your time away
Make sure you’re able to give yourself some clear wins. On my list for this trip?
- Eat fish and chips, an ice cream cone, and a cream tea.
I was going to England for god’s sake, so this was not going to be difficult, but each time I checked one of them off––The fish and chips lunch on the water in Lyme Regis, the ice cream cone (fresh strawberry, of course!) while wandering the gardens at Queen Victoria’s summer estate on the Isle of Wight, and finally—on our very last day, that decadent cream tea with our Aunt, Uncle, and cousins––it felt like a win, like I was “doing it right.” Clear win.
- Find some quiet time to figure out my questions regarding the book.
The writing of my book is almost finished, but I’ve been questioning the overall flow of the material. It was getting in my way and everything was beginning to feel disjointed. I knew I just needed a few quiet, uninterrupted days to think it through and indeed, it all became clear when I had that time in Cowes. Check √
- Continue our tradition of hunting for and bringing home certain items
A Christmas ornament for our tree, a tea towel, and some artwork for the house–one of which always needs to be a watercolor of some site we visited, and some sort of textile. This year, we found our Xmas ornament and a gorgeous watercolor print of St. Michael’s Mount, a tea towel from Cornwall, some linen napkins from my favorite shop in Cowes, and 3 yards of the most perfect Indian block-print fabric for some new throw pillows.
This is one of my favorite travel traditions and one I highly recommend. Even on the rainiest day in Cornwall, when I was feeling like death warmed over, looking for a watercolor or a Christmas ornament gave us a joint mission and kept me distracted.
- See all of our family and friends in the UK.
This was also going to be a win since we had plans in place to see (almost) everyone. Living so far away from family means that one has to put in some effort to keep those connections strong. And while that can often mean different groups on different days, and driving to and fro, it’s always worth it to be able to re-connect. To sit face to face and hear about the latest medical worries, celebrate the birthdays, anniversaries, and new babies on the way.
One important note here is that each one of my intentions (with maybe the exception of the food one, but again—that was a no-brainer) is about a process. It was an action I could take, rather than the outcome. I was in control of whether or not I found time to work on the book. The goal was not to figure out the book questions. The goal was to find quiet time and space to think about and work on the book.
The goal was not to “forge strong bonds with our family members.” It was merely to make time to see them. Something that can easily be done. Do we feel that the bonds have been strengthened? Yes. But that was a happy bonus.
And the intention was to remember to look for those items. If we hadn’t found a watercolor to add to our hallway of travel memories, I would have been a little disappointed, but most of the fun is in looking for one because it means pouring through the bins of street artists and in cute, out-of-the-way galleries.
The result of our trip was that we felt we did what we wanted to do. We happened to have great results, we made some wonderful memories–both with each other and with our friends and family, and we both claimed what we needed. Paul got to run around and see things and he got to sail, and I got to read, had space and time to think, and some time to eat ice cream and do some shopping.
Seeing new things and being in new environments got me excited to get home and bring my new ideas and thoughts with me. To implement them into my work and into my life.
I’m grateful that we are in a position to be able to travel like this, but taking time off from your craft can come in many different forms. My friend and fellow freelance musician, Vanessa and I used to take 1 single day each summer and drive up to Rockport, MA and have “summer in a day.” No shop talk allowed, we would pop into all of the tourist shops, eat lobster and fries, ice cream (obviously) and climb on the rocks at the beach. Even that felt restorative and rejuvenating.
So please, do what you can, let’s make the most of these remaining weeks of summer!
5 Levels of Internal Growth
Over the last 9 years, I have made a lot of changes in my life, and the clients I work with 1:1 and in my group programs are making changes of their own. Some are moving into leadership positions within their field, some are changing their field entirely. It’s all exciting, and fun, and scary, and terrifying all at the same time.
Because it requires growth.
There is a lot of talk about growth–in fact, we’ve made 2 entire genres out of growth: Personal Growth and Professional growth. But Growth is Growth. It always requires the same of us: Getting outside of our comfort zone, taking on a risk or a challenge, and shifting our identity.
And we all know what growth looks like, right? A promotion, getting to the next level in a job, an audition, or a sport. Getting from “beginner” status in a foreign language to “conversational”. Going from couch potato to a 10K runner.
When we think of Growth–be that our own, or in someone else, we think of the outward changes in their appearance, work status, behaviors, or even bank accounts.
But more often than not, that outward change in appearance or status is preceded by a more quiet change.
This first kind of growth is subtle. Sometimes, it’s something that as a coach, I can recognize in my clients before they see it themselves.
It’s Internal growth.
We all know this picture of the iceberg with the top 10 % of it sticking out of the water representing external growth, and the 90% of it underwater and unseen that had to happen first.
The top part is the first sale of a new artist’s work. The bottom part was the years of wondering if they should quit their job, take art classes, if they were allowed to, in mid-life, suddenly “re-brand” themselves as an artist. It was the months it took to post their work on Instagram or to show their teenagers what they made. It was the courage it took them to quietly submit a piece to an open call.
The top part is the successful opening night of a singer’s directorial debut. Accepting the roses and applause. The bottom 90% is the years of talking about it, the months of resistance and then finally getting that proposal written. The slow identity shift from “just a singer” to “singer, producer, and director” The baby steps in confidence building as one tiny courageous act made the next one ever-so-slightly less terrifying.
I’ve had clients who, 6 months into it, put out a splashy, amazing project with loads of visibility and hype. Everyone is wowed. All is good.
And I’ve had others who have worked with me for years, without any outward “project” to show for it but have, in that time, gained total clarity around what they want to do with their lives, confidence in the person they are and belief in the person they are becoming. Tasks that were once crippling to them (posting their work online, or sending an email to someone they want in their network) are now done regularly, without giving them a 2nd thought.
Those are some of my favorite coaching moments. The outward successes are fun, of course, and are cause for much celebration and acknowledgment of the hard work that went into them, but witnessing these quiet, subtle, internal moments of growth is incredibly meaningful to me because without them, there would be no outward successes. But once this kind of internal growth occurs? Anything is possible.
I’m sure there are hundreds of different ways to experience internal growth, but here are the 5 big ones that I see occurring in the months leading up to a big outward success. And I usually see them happening in this order, almost as if they are different levels of a game.
Level 1: Responsibility
I have a visceral memory of sitting on my bed one evening while I was in the midst of a pretty low point in my life. If I’m speaking plainly, I was in a pretty deep depression. Life was not going the way I wanted it to be going. My love life was a disaster, my career felt hectic and disorganized, and opportunities weren’t coming at me as quickly as I thought they would be.
But this one evening, sitting in my bedroom writing in my journal, I wrote these words:
“I need to stop expecting everyone else to make me happy. It’s not their job. It’s mine.”
I don’t know where that clarity of thought came from, but it came–clear as day–so clear that still remember the exact line 20 years later. I made a list right then and there of the kinds of things/people/work I wanted in my life, and brainstormed ways to get them. I started to take responsibility for my own life. Ironic, since, as a classic Gen-X latch-key kid, I had basically been responsible for my life since I was 5 years old. But I digress…
Now, I see it in my clients, too. The shift from placing blame for their hurt feelings, seeming lack of opportunities, and financial woes on everyone around them, to taking ownership of all of it—finding intention in their reactions to people’s words, creating the opportunities they want, and finding ways to generate the financial life they want.
“It’s so unfair!” becomes “I wonder how I can…”
Level 2: Attitude
The 2nd internal growth shift happens after we take responsibility for our lives and get proactive. The initial excitement of a new idea gets bombarded with all of the reasons it won’t work. I refer to this kind of thinking as the “No, because” mindset. I’ve got a whole blog post on this if you’re curious, This 2nd marker of internal growth is when that “No, Because” mindset turns into a “Yes, If” mindset.
First, we take responsibility for our lives, and then we develop the mindset to get curious about how to make it all happen.
“Yes, if we could raise the money.”
“Yes, if I could find the right venue”
“Yes, if I could find the courage to record that album”
“Yes, if I could find 2 quiet and uninterrupted hours a day to work”
Level 3: Improved Mental Game
We’ve now gone from “I am responsible for my own life” to “I can do this…IF..” This third step in the path of internal growth is what separates the successful from also-rans. No matter the circumstances, those pesky mindset monsters, imposter syndrome, and resistance, will rear their ugly heads.
No one is safe.
Most people will allow a single negative thought like “People will laugh at me” to derail their progress, and sadly, their own personal and professional growth in the process. Most people will allow a week of resistance–whether your particular brand of resistance is procrastination, distraction, martyrdom, or indulging in unhealthy habits–to mean that they aren’t capable of taking on this beast of a project. Or they’ll let it mean that they don’t really want to do it (even though deep down, they know they do).
Imposter syndrome is our brain’s way of keeping us safe and sound within the confines of our comfort zone. Growth means stepping out into the unknown. Into uncertainty. Unchartered territory. Our brain will throw any and every warning thought at us to keep us from even attempting such a dangerous thing. It’s hard-wired from back in the days when that unchartered territory might have contained animals that wanted to kill us. But in modern days, the worst thing that can happen is more likely a slight wound to our ego, and that is not fatal–I promise.
Resistance—that inability to get yourself into the practice room when your audition is looming? The intense need to scrub the kitchen floor before you could possibly start working on that painting idea that you can’t get out of your head? The decision that you’re simply too busy caring for everyone else to work on your own project—is nothing but fear. I’ve talked about this before. It’s always just fear. Fear that you won’t be good at it. Fear that you’ll hate it. Fear that you’ll love it, but no one else will? Fear that after all this time, it just won’t go as planned.
Level-3 growth is not when you no longer face imposter syndrome or resistance, because we always will. Level-3 growth is when you can recognize it for what it is, and stare it down.
It’s when you can see yourself procrastinating, and you call yourself out on it. “It’s okay. Just do 10 minutes of work, and then you can get back to the video game.” or “Yes, people might laugh—and I can handle that. I’m doing this project anyway.”
Level 4: Courage
If Level 3 growth is the recognition of the mindset obstacle, and the decision to overcome it, Level 4 is when a person finally gathers up the courage to act. They write the email, they create the social media announcement. Often, they need a little bit of help crossing that finish line, and part of my job as a coach is to give them the push they need to SEND the email and to POST the social media announcement.
Traveling through Level 1: It’s on me. Level 2: This could work, IF. Level 3: I’m not going to believe these negative thoughts to Level 4: takes tremendous growth, and if you can get to Level 4, you’re pretty much guaranteed to make it all the way.
The reason for that is that once you can get yourself to act with courage to do the scary thing. To peek outside of your comfort zone, you’ll start to gain the confidence that comes from experience.
It’s ALWAYS terrifying to send that first email. To post that first piece. To ask for that first meeting. It’s terrifying for every single one of us. But if you can gather your courage and do it, you might get a nice response, and suddenly, sending an email isn’t so bad–maybe you could even email someone else? Next thing you know, you’re sending emails to people regularly. Emails that, before, seemed impossible.
As a coach, I see the growth in clients who previously would Voxer me to say “So, I need to email so-and-so. What should I say.” and then “Okay, I’ve written the email. Do I really have to send it?” suddenly send me Voxers that say “So, I emailed these 3 people, and sent them proposals…..” like it’s no big deal.
That is a big deal.
Level 5: Identity
I recently had a client who was making a huge shift in their career. Totally different industry. Their most terrifying moments centered around people asking them what they did. “What do I tell them?” That I’m attempting to be this new thing? That I am? What if they want to see my work? I don’t have anything to show for it. I’ll feel like a fraud.”
I get it.
For 40 years I was “Kate-the-cellist” It’s how I was introduced, recognized, and referred to. When I stopped being a cellist, I was writing daily, but I hadn’t published anything other than my blog, and that question would send me into a panic. But one day, someone asked me what I did. Someone who never knew me as a cellist. I responded, “I’m a writer.” and just like that, I felt my own tremendous growth. Because although it’s just words. It’s about getting to a place where your identity shifts.
This client of mine went to a reunion, and in our session a few days later, was recounting different interactions they had had with old classmates. “What did you say when they asked you what you were up to?” I asked. “You know?” they said. “I think I just said I was an artist.” It just sort of rolled off my tongue. It didn’t feel as strange as it did before.
Once you’ve reached this 5th level of internal growth, anything is possible.
Level 1: It’s my responsibility
Level 2: This can work..IF
Level 3: I’m choosing not to believe these negative thoughts.
Level 4: I have the courage to take the first step
Level 5: This is who I am and What I do.
The actor who finally identified as a director, and was able to communicate with people about her production idea as a director, rather than as an actor who was trying to be a director. That person is almost guaranteed to make that production a reality.
The public school music teacher who allows herself to identify as a performer and starts to see the gig offers roll in.
The freelancer who starts to identify as a groundbreaking pedagogue and gains the attention of major Arts schools.
Mind you, in each of these cases, while you can SEE the tremendous growth that has happened, the people in question had not actually put out their first product, project, program, etc. There was no External PROOF of their growth. But as you can clearly see, they had already done the hard part.
These 5 Levels of internal growth represent the 90% of the iceberg that is below the water. The 90% of taking responsibility, seeing the possibility, pushing through the negative thoughts, demonstrating courage, and allowing for that identity shift.
The rest is easy. The rest is just doing the thing. Only now, we’ve grown into the person that CAN do the thing. We have all the tools we need.
Where do you fit into this video game of personal growth? Are you at a Level 5 already? Or starting out at a Level 1? Somewhere in the middle? What what you need to do in order to get to the next level?
If you listen back to previous episodes, you might find a few easter eggs.
Cheers,
Kate x
P.S. Have you done a Stay-at-home work retreat yet? Grab my free Quarterly Retreat Planning Guide and I’ll walk you through my exact quarterly planning and assessment process.
Choosing Your Sidekicks for Success
Today, we’re talking about sidekicks. The people you keep close by your side. The ones that help you, challenge you, make you laugh, believe in you, and encourage you. And we’re talking about how a well-chosen group of sidekicks can help lead you toward success (Whatever success looks like for you.)
Making any big shift in your life can feel daunting. Whether you’re attempting to level up the kind of work you’re already doing, pivot into a different field, or embark on a whole-life transformation, having the right sidekicks alongside you can make all the difference.
It takes guts to make these changes, and it takes perseverance, battling imposter syndrome, and overcoming our self-doubt.
It’s not easy.
It also requires that we not attempt to do it on our own. We need to get a support system in place.
To borrow from a classic example, you’ll want to have your Obi-Wan, your Yoda, and you’ll definitely need a Chewbacca, or you’re not going to make it.
I’ve identified 5 different roles you’ll want covered by your sidekicks, and in today’s episode, I’m going to take you through each of them.
#1 is The Proof
It’s a lot easier to motivate ourselves to take on something scary if we know it will work out. Being able to point to an example of someone who has done something similar definitely helps in that regard. As soon as you start to hear your inner voice say something rude like:
“That’s a dumb idea, you could never get away with doing something like that.”
You can point to that person/colleague/celebrity and say, “Well, THEY did it. So, I probably can too.”
You can also literally model your steps after them. Find out what they did, and do that too. If it worked for them, it will probably work for you too. Do you want to run a marathon? Find people who have run marathons and ask them how they trained. Do that. Run Marathon.
When I wanted to start an online summer festival last year, no one had done that exact thing. But I HAD seen enough summer festivals up close, and I had seen people put together online conferences and summits, so I just combined the two. You can do something like that too if no one has done exactly what you want to do. Find people who have done similar things, and then put your own twist on it.
Look around you. Who do you see that you can use as your proof? Write their name on a piece of paper and pin it to your work board and, without getting all creepy about it (please don’t do that) find out what you can about how they did it.
#2 is The Peer
(And, yes: They DO all start with the letter P. It’s easier to remember that way.)
Moving on.
A Peer is someone who is going through a similar journey/path/transformation–insert any of those gross icky words one can use to describe the hard work of getting yourself from point A to point B.
Ideally, this Peer is starting from the same or similar point A and is looking to get to or near the same point B.
This is your equally out-of-shape buddy who is going to train with you to do a 5K. Your childhood friend who is already a veteran marathon runner is a mentor, a trainer, a guide, perhaps, but they are NOT your peer.
This is your friend who also wants to make some kind of career or life pivot. It could be similar to yours (ie you both want to start chamber music festivals) or they could be wildly different (ie, you both want to shift into a different career altogether)
The point is that they are just as giddy and excited about it as you are, and also a bit apprehensive, a little terrified, and sometimes want to throw up at the idea of changing things up.
You know, in a good way.
They will walk the walk and talk the talk with you. When you’re having a great day, they will rejoice in your wins, and when you’re having a lousy day, they will commiserate with you. It’s hard. They get it. They’ll remind you that it’s worth it. And you’ll do the same for them.
In the coaching world, we call that “Jumping in the pool with you.” If you get in the pool and the water is freezing, a coach will help guide you to the ladder to get out of the pool, or help you reframe it as “refreshing!” whatever is most helpful to you in the long run. But a peer? They will jump right in with you, and say “oh, yeah—this IS freezing! It sucks!”
One of the things I hear most often from clients who are reaching out to me for the first time is that they feel very lonely and isolated in their desire to make such a big change. They worry that their colleagues and friends will at best, just not “get it” and at worst, completely snub them.
And they might be right.
The person who is trying to be healthy and kick some bad habits? They meet up with their friends, who give them a hard time for ordering a seltzer and a salad instead of a Malbec and manicotti. I’m not saying they shouldn’t hang out with those friends, but it would be a lot easier if they were all trying to be healthy together and ALL toasting with Pomegranate La Croix.
When I decided to start working with a business coach, the thing that appealed to me the most was the group of people I would be working alongside. That group of people, all of whom were working on their own projects, became my rock. We took turns alternating between tears of frustration and stories of victory, and having a space where I could be 100% real – to not have to hide what I was working on or be shy about my wins, was a big part of my success.
In my own group programs, like CLA and Profit Pivot, I aim to create the kind of atmosphere that fosters those connections –Choosing participants who will benefit from and enhance each other’s work. But the alchemy of each cohort always takes on a life of its own as peers build connections and trust between them. Even my 1:1 clients get to come to my weekly office hours, so that they, too, can meet some of their peers. People in their shoes who are experiencing similar things. It’s that important.
It’s a powerful thing, The Peer. If you can surround yourself with them, that’s amazing, but you’ll feel a big difference even with one.
#3 is The Pillar
I have made a couple of big pivots in my career. The first was when I left the freelance orchestra world and started touring around and doing more solo performances. The 2nd was when I moved into the online teaching and coaching space.
I remember some serious low points in each case. The concert in Seattle that was attended by…5 people? The time I had a memory slip in the last movement of a Bach Suite I had played a gazillion times? The time I showed up to perform on a “concert series” at a wine bar, and it turns out it was just a bar with live music. Let’s just say they were NOT expecting Bach.
Or the time I had the final “graduation session” planned for my first big coaching group and there was an explosion at the Power Station 20 minutes before that put the entire island into a blackout. The numerous times I sent out a wrong email, posted the wrong dates, or an expert I hired gave a total dud of a class.
I’m going to let you all in on a little secret. This whole career pivot thing? Not every day is an awesome day. The only way to get good at something new is to screw up and learn from your mistakes.
Those days just feel hard. My secret weapon?
It’s The Pillar.
The Pillar is the person that holds you up. The person that keeps you from crumbling in the middle of a launch when you round the top of the curve of the rollercoaster and start barreling headfirst towards the ground because the power was cut (spoiler alert-it’ll all work out, it just might not feel like it in that exact moment.)
Your Pillar can be your spouse, your best friend, your mom, your kind neighbor who thinks you’re the bomb, or your Aunt Susie who always knows just what to say to make you feel better. At times, I act as the pillar for a client who needs one. Standing there as they do courageous things.
Your Proof? You might not even have met them. Your Peer? They’re going through the same thing. You can cry on their shoulder, but they are probably crying on yours as well.
Your Pillar though? They are there for you. Strong, always encouraging, always on your side. When you are on top of the world, they tell you they believe in you. When you’re ready to quit? They tell you they believe in you.
When I was growing up, doing the whole monkey dance of competitions and auditions that all young musicians go through, I would get incredibly annoyed when, after a “not-exactly-my-best-most shining-moment” performance, my dad would come up to me, beaming, and say “That was terrific, honey! You were the best one!”
I would get so annoyed because a) he was clearly wrong and b) he didn’t know Anything. My friends’ parents were all professional musicians. They knew. And they could be honest about their kid’s performances. They could go home and critically break everything down and do a full SWOT analysis of that day’s performance.
And there I was with my dumb dad–what the heck did he know? I could have walked out on stage with a broken cello, and he would still tell me I was great.”
In hindsight, I was the luckiest girl around. He was such a gift. He was my first pillar.
The truth is, we all desperately need someone like that in our lives. Someone who, no matter what, is supporting us.
The person who believes in you, your dreams, and your ability to make them happen. A person who will run errands and take on extra chores for you when you need to work a few extra hours a few weeks in a row.
The person who is blind to (or will, at least, kindly ignore) your bad moments and is consistently telling you to keep going, that you’re doing great.
These days, my pillar is my husband. He’s a scientist, and he had to google “cello” the night we met “just to see which one it was”. For years, he would feel bad that he couldn’t talk to me seriously about classical music, or “my work” the way I could with my colleagues, and eventually I was able to convince him that I didn’t need that from him.
In those colleagues, I have my peers–important, but only 1 out of the 5. He was my Pillar. My source of strength and support, and I don’t need him to know a damn thing about my industry for that.
Those “terrible days” will sort themselves out. The mistakes will get fixed or rectified, and you will learn everything you need to know. All your pillar needs to do is stand there, allowing you to lean on them for a little bit.
Who is Your Pillar? Your Peer? Your Proof. I hope you’ve been making a list.
#4 is The Professor
The other day I got a nice surprise email from an acquaintance of mine from Boston. This woman was a regular at my concerts. Not a cellist herself, but a huge fan, and she always talked about how she wished she could play. Well-educated, and having had an impressive career, she retired early and did more impressive things. But she had always dreamed of hosting salon evenings in her swanky home and reading Brahms Piano Trios into the wee hours of the morning. In her email, she excitedly told me that she had decided to make learning the cello her next project.
I was so happy for her and asked her who her teacher was.
“Oh! I’m not studying with anyone yet. I’m not good enough. I’m just going to learn the basics myself and then I’ll go and find a teacher.”
(Yeah–I just heard you all sigh deeply)
“But could you just show me how to do vibrato real quick?” She asked
Um. Not really, No.
It’s not that I can’t teach someone how to vibrate, obviously. I did it for over 25 years.
It’s that I can’t just tell someone how to do it and then send them on their way. I don’t care how many advanced degrees one holds from MIT. It involves exercises and repetition under a watchful, experienced eye. It requires feedback and adjustments. It requires information you can’t get from a YouTube video.
Now, if you’re merely curious about something or you just want to dabble for fun, then by all means, go for it. I’m a huge fan of hobbies (link). And if you’re curious about that weird shaking thing we professional cellists are doing with our left hands, I’ll happily tell you all about it.
But if you want to really do it–be proficient enough to be able to play (and read) chamber music, say. Then you simply need to work with a teacher.
Or….A Professor
It sounds better. And it starts with the letter P, like the other 3 have, so….
If you want to get a bit fitter, then you can just do a home workout. But, If you want to change how your body looks, then you’ll save yourself a lot of time and frustration by signing up with a personal trainer.
The same is true for preparing for orchestra auditions, learning a language, and learning a sport. For just about everything, really.
Especially revamping your career.
Take it from me.
Back in 2017, I knew I wanted more from my music career. I loved my teaching and I loved my performing, but the entrepreneurial itch that has followed me around my whole life was resurfacing.
I did some Google searches for help, guidance, examples….anything, really. And came up empty.
So I turned to podcasts. I found several that were mind-blowing to me at the time. Mostly online marketing and business leaders like Amy Porterfield, Jenna Kutcher, and Steph Crowder.
I was hearing words I, as a musician, had never heard before: ROI, conversion, launching, email marketing platforms, algorithms, ICA, and landing pages. My head was spinning.
But I was fascinated. I knew that as a musician, if I could harness the business side of things—things I never learned in music school, I could, in fact, do a lot more. So I stuck with it, and I learned a lot. I felt on top of the world.
These people were masters. They were my teachers. But as I dove into their content, I kept noticing a common theme. One after another, they would at some point refer to their business coach…..their WHAT?
All of these business leaders had business coaches. And they all swore by them. I was determined to get one as well.
One of those podcasters, Marie Forleo, had a digital course called “B-school”, and I signed up for it. It wasn’t cheap, and I didn’t have a ton of extra cash lying around, but I decided to invest in myself. Marie Forleo would be my business coach even if she didn’t know who I was.
I learned more lingo. I learned how to do a few more things. And there were thousands of other people in the course wanting to network and exchange info.
But none of them were artists. And I felt very alone.
My niche of classical music was a strange one. Every time I went into a live Q&A and asked something about my projects, I was met with blank stares. They just weren’t quite sure how to deal with my niche.
So I kept looking. I was determined to find someone who understood both the business AND the industry.
Eventually, I found that person in my first coach, Jennifer Rosenfeld, and as soon as I started working with a teacher that was well-matched to who I am and what I wanted to do, doors started to fly open for me.
Because just like vibrato, you can’t just read a book about creating a business and do it. You need guidance in real time. Someone there to answer questions, help steer you, and sometimes just say “Yep! You’re doing great! Keep going!”
And now I know first-hand what those podcasters were talking about, and why they have their coaches. While I now have the experience and knowledge to be able to guide my own clients towards their goals and help them achieve their dreams, I, too, will have a coach in my cheering corner for the rest of my career.
And it’s funny how similar the conversation is when someone attempting a big career shift says to me: Well, I think I can completely overhaul my career on my own for now, but could you just tell me how to do a launch?
Um…Not really…No. Not in 5 minutes.
For that, you’ll need a Professor
Preferably someone with a proven track record who has experience doing what you need to do. If you are just starting out and dabbling, maybe that person is a podcaster that you’re listening to. Or maybe you’ll dive into some of those inexpensive digital courses that teach you how to do one thing or another.
But eventually, if you truly want to succeed, you’re going to need to bring in the big guns. The Professor can help save you months of procrastinating and frustration. They can keep you from making costly mistakes and they can help you get to where you want to go.
So now you’ve got a team of 4.
So far, we have met:
The Proof: The person we can look to as proof that this endeavor IS, in fact, possible.
The Peer: The person who is walking the walk right alongside us.
The Pillar: Your source of strength and support. They likely have nothing to do with your venture, but they are there for you—whenever you need them.
The Professor: From the author of a book to a podcaster you love to a literal teacher, trainer, or coach. this is the person who is inspiring you to see what is possible for you and is providing information that will get you there.
And that brings us to…
#5: The Prodder
The Prodder is the person in our lives who nudges us (physically or mentally) to GET IT DONE. The person who will say “Have you done your practicing yet today?” or “Did you send those emails this week?” This person must be self-selected, otherwise, they’re called “The Nag”.
While being surrounded by a strong peer group can help to make you feel accountable, and you might want to look good for your coach or teacher by always doing what they have suggested, I would strongly suggest asking just ONE person to be your prodder.
For me? I chose someone from my coaching program. My prodder and I meet most weeks and tell each other what we are committing to as our next steps. And check in on each other daily through Voxer.
Some of the prodding is an encouraging “You can do it, Kate! It’s going to be great!” and some of it is a stern reminder “You said you wanted to do 5 each week—how many more do you need to do?”
Is there an overlap in these 5 people? Sure, Sometimes.
The more successes my peers rack up, the more they become my proof.
At times, my peers will prod me into action.
My professors (coach) have at times shown that they are also peers as they work through their own work issues (which is amazing, btw, to follow along in real-time as they tackle real-life problems I’ll someday face) And at times they have also prodded me. My prodder is also a peer, and sometimes we both have days where we look at each other and say “This all feels hard today.”
But although the lines sometimes get blurry, the fact that I can state with full clarity who fulfills which role in my life has made all the difference.
If I ever start to question whether I can do the things I want to do, I look to my proof. People out there doing incredible things each and every day, despite similar odds.
When I want to commiserate or share a win without feeling like I’m bragging, I have peers in my mastermind group. They make a pretty amazing cheering squad.
When I need support, which in my case could mean anything from a good hug to needing someone to pick up groceries, cook dinner, and do the dishes afterward, I have my incredible husband, Paul.
When I need to learn how to do something new, want help shaping a new idea, or want guidance into what my next steps could/should be, I have my coaches.
And when I find myself wanting to procrastinate, I have my prodder to hold me accountable.
So now I want to know. Who’s on your team? Who’s missing? Which roles need filling?
I’m so grateful to everyone who has supported me along the way, and I’m sure there will be many more to come.
As creatives, we tend to grow up believing it is ALL on us. Whether or not we have the drive and ambition to get our butts into the studio, whether or not we have the talent and skills necessary to “make it” and whether or not we have the right personality to get into the “right” circles. We are taught that it is on us alone, as individuals.
But really, it’s about the team. Always has been, and always will be. Whether you are a student, a teacher, an amateur, or a professional, once you figure this out and get your team in place, there is no limit to what you can accomplish.
I wish I had known this a few decades ago. It would have made everything easier, and less lonely, and I have no doubt I would have had better results in my pursuits, but I’ve learned it now. I’ve lived it a few times over, and I’m so happy to be able to share it with you now.
Happy Team-Building! Go and enjoy your new sidekicks.
Cheers,
Kate
The Mid-Year Check-In
Last Monday marked the official halfway point of 2024. 6 months in. 6 Months to go. In the spirit of our favorite Gen X Nightly News Public Service Announcement:
“We’re halfway through the year: Do you know where your goals are?”
If you’re a regular around here, you know how much I love the process of doing a mid-year check-in. Taking stock, assessing, and planning (and then doing!) And with the halfway point, brings the start of Q3. You can check out my very OG blog post about my Quarterly Retreats here, and that is a very good place to start this process.
I know many of my listeners here are musicians, dancers, performers of some kind, or have academic jobs, and our life runs in seasons. For instance, the Bermuda Philharmonic Season runs from September to early July, and then we’re off for the summer. When I was a professional cellist, there was “The Season” from September–to mid-June, and then there was “The Summer Season” from mid-June to late August.
It made taxes annoying because I looked at how successful (artistically and financially) my SEASON was, which didn’t align with the tax year.
But rather than dismissing this idea of a mid-year check-in as “Not Applicable” I think everyone can benefit from this idea of assessing the last 6 months and looking ahead to the next 6 months.
And, in fact, for those of you who are just now relaxing into their “summer season” of festivals and travel, this is maybe a perfect time to check in on how last season went for you, and what changes you might want or need to make in planning the start of next season.
Because if you started out the season with 15 private students last September, and 1 moved away, 2 quit, and 3 graduated, you’re about to see how that all played out in your Q1 and Q2 finances, and this is the perfect time to decide that either you are very happy with fewer teaching hours, but need to raise your rates a bit, or you need to start recruiting more students for September.
Okay, here’s how I do my Mid-Year Check-in:
1. Assess
Take a look at the goals I set at the beginning of January (or back in September if that’s when you set your goals)
- Which ones have I met?
- Which ones have I made progress on?
- Of those, am I on track? Am I happy with where I am for those?
- Or is my progress slower than I anticipated? Why? My own doing, or external factors?
- Which ones have I not even started?
2. Finances
Get your head out of the sand, and take a good hard look. What has come in since January 1st? For performers, or freelancers of any kind, really, I highly recommend doing a month-by-month breakdown of income and expenses so that you have a clear idea of which months are consistently good (hello, December and May!), and which ones are consistently bad (I see you, September and January!)
So given what you have made over these last 6 months, are you in good shape to meet your financial goals for the year? For people in the Arts world, though the Summer Season is usually a helluva lotta fun, it’s also often far less lucrative. We’re paid less for festival work, and we have higher expenses–going out for dinners or drinks after every performance because you only see these friends once a year, adds up quickly when you have performances 5 nights a week! If July and August are going to be a wash for you, will you make enough in September, October, November, and December to meet your 2024 financial goals?
If so….fantastic! But I might still think through a few of the following contingency plans in case of injury, canceled work, or global catastrophe.
If not…it’s time to figure out some plan B’s. I have a very popular blog post titled: “5 Ways to Generate $5000 Quickly as an Artist or Musician”, and these ideas are free to you. Do a workshop for local students in the lean month of September, or create a 1-hour performance you can shop around to different places. For non-performers, how can you take on some extra work, apply for some funding for a project, or cut expenses elsewhere?
This, of course, depends on why you set the goals you did. If it was just out of curiosity—Can I make six figures this year? Can I hit a million?–and you feel maxed out already, then maybe you’ve answered the question and can just go about enjoying the next 6 months as planned. But if you set that financial goal so that you could afford that down payment on the house of your dreams, or to pay for your wedding, or to cover your child’s college tuition, then you probably REALLY need to meet that goal. If you’re behind, now is the time to catch up. It’s far easier to make an extra $5000 a month for 6 months than to make $30,000 in 1 month.
3. Professional Growth
I like to divide this into 3 categories: Learned skills, knowledge gained, and relationships nurtured.
1. Learned Skills: What tools would you like to add to your imaginary toolbox this year? Did you want to learn to code? Learn how to build a website, learn SEO, or a craft-specific skill like using a loop pedal, or working in a new medium? So often we go day by day, week by week, month by month, without doing anything new, years can go by and you have the exact same skill set you had 20 years ago. That sounds dreadful. Let’s do something about it.
Imagine adding 1 new highly valuable skill each year for the next 10 years. Ten years from now, you know how to code, how to build websites, use SEO, you can improvise with a loop pedal, you’ve become an excellent photographer, you can have a full conversation in Italian, an expert gardener, can re-hair violin bows, successfully apply for grants, and launch and edit a podcast. That’d be pretty cool. So start now–in this 2nd half of the year. What skill would you like to add this year? How can you start learning it today?
2. Knowledge Gained: this comes in many forms, but the most obvious one is books. Reading and listening to audiobooks will increase your level of knowledge very quickly. Whether it’s about leadership and management icons, or the history of the Vikings. If you want to know something, just find a good book about it,
You can also find great documentaries, and to a certain extent, video series like on YouTube or Master Class—though those tend to lean towards #1 above–learning new skills.
What is something you’d like to know more about? Maybe you want to know more about the key players in the history of your industry–Heifetz, Martha Graham, Katherine Graham, or Maria Callas. Or maybe you’d like to know more about the Crimean War because whenever it comes up in a conversation you feel like an idiot for your lack of knowledge.
So again, what’s something you’d love to know more about by the end of the year? Can you grab a book off the bookshelf? Head to the local bookstore? Download it on Audible?
3. Relationships Nurtured: Some people call this networking. I mean, it’s true–your Network is the people around you consider your contacts. Friends, work colleagues, mentors, mentees, even your local fishmonger, but without nurturing the actual relationships behind the contact, it can feel awkward and fake when you suddenly email them out of the blue. And, I’ll add, it feels awkward and fake to both parties, because both parties know that it IS fake, which makes it awkward. You can divide THIS list into 3 parts as well.
- Friends and Family: How often do you check in with your close friends and family? You probably have a few group chats going on–which is great. But what about individually? Our dear friend Bob, who died in a tragic accident 2 years ago was known to check in with each and every one of his close friends at LEAST once a week. Just a text—” How’s it going?” “wanna go out on the boat on Sunday?” “how’s the concert prep going?” it was quick. It was simple, and it always meant the world to me. Those messages mean even more to all of us now.
- Close work colleagues: Yes–you see them at work almost every day. Yes, you chat all the time, but are you just hanging out at the proverbial water cooler trading snarky comments, or are you nurturing those relationships? Can you offer your unused comp ticket before they even ask for it because you know their in-laws are visiting? Can you buy their kids’ Girl Scout cookies? Can you learn more about their work goals and offer assistance in any way you can? Take your mentor out for lunch, take your mentee out for lunch. Nurture, nurture, nurture. Yes. You’re busy. We’re all busy these days. Life comes at us fast, which is exactly why it’s important to nurture these relationships. You’ll never regret it.
- New contacts: I have a relatively new friend here–she hasn’t lived here very long, but she started gathering various people that she was meeting that she liked and thought were interesting and inviting us to things. Lunch at her place, a concert, a fashion show, a fundraiser, etc. There were always a few new faces, but a bunch of regulars emerged. I went to a fairly high-scale event last week and ran into all of these new friends, and it was like we were a family—there have already been several collaborations and work connections made, etc. One of them is saving my butt this weekend! My point? It doesn’t take a lot, and it doesn’t take long to create actual, genuine friendships with people who are also very helpful to have in your network. There’s nothing awkward, and nothing fake about it.
So….back to that check-in….Make a list of the friends and family members you want to check in with daily (or weekly, or monthly… maybe even Quarterly) and check in with two of them today. Then, think about your regular work colleagues. Is there something nice you can do for one of them this week? And your new contacts. Who have you met recently that you liked? That you thought–they are kind of amazing and doing awesome things. Can you email them and invite them to something? Whether it’s your show or something you’d go to together, doesn’t matter. Just reach out. No harm, no foul.
4. Habits and General Self-Assessment
How are you doing? Like, really. How are you doing? Are you sleeping enough? Eating nutritious food? Getting some fresh air and exercise? How’s your schedule feeling? Is it temporary? Or do we need to make some changes before you implode? For example, at the time I’m writing this, I’m trying to finish the last chapters of my book, I’ve got a huge, sold-out philharmonic event in 3 days, our AGM is tonight, and I need to announce the 2024-2025 season. I’m feeling maxed out, but I know it’s temporary. Next week, 2 out of 3 of those things will be crossed off and life will go back to its normal, less hectic pace. So, yes–sometimes things are just FULL-ON, but if you’re feeling like every single week is FULL-ON, you might want to take a look at paring something down.
You can’t offload practicing, showing up to rehearsals, coaching the little league team, or nursing your baby, but you CAN maybe use a meal delivery service. Ask the cleaner who comes once a week to stay an additional (paid) hour and do the ironing. The Laundry? Toss a roast chicken in while they’re there?
To steal an idea from Julia Cameron’s book, The Artists’ Way. make a list of “Ten Tiny Changes” you’d like to make. From “drink 1 more glass of water a day” to “do squats while I brush my teeth” to “bring flowers in from the garden every Monday” or “read 10 pages every night before bed.” Choose 2 things from that list and do them today.
The last thing I would suggest is this: Think about yourself in December of this year. How do you want to feel? How do you want to feel about the previous year? Who is in your life that isn’t there today? How are your finances looking? What new skills and knowledge do you have? How strong do your relationships feel? If you’re the journaling type, you can write all this out in a “Day in the life” type entry—describing what your day is like in December 2024. If you’re not the journaling type. Keep that image in mind. Bit by bit, start moving yourself in that direction.
Good luck, my friend. With a little forethought and a bit of finesse, 2024 can be your best year ever—no matter how the last 6 months have gone.
Cheers,
Kate
How Long Will it Take?
I often get asked how long it will take a person to shift their career. Usually, that conversation is within the context of choosing a coaching package. Do they need 6 months? A year? Can then figure it all out in 3 months? Of course, a “Career Shift” can mean so many different things, but in general, we as humans do want to know how long it’ll take to get somewhere. We want to know how long it’ll take to run our first marathon, to lose 10 lbs, or to memorize a new script. How long it takes to drive from Boston to the Cape on a Friday afternoon in July (the answer is eternity–you should leave right now.)
So when people ask me how long it’ll take to shift their career in whatever ways they want, my answer has a lot to do with sailboats.
About 15 years ago, I cut a picture of a gorgeous white sailboat out of some travel magazine and I added it to a notebook that nowadays would be referred to as a “vision board.” I didn’t do it with any sense that the act of collecting it would “manifest it into my life” I was just trying to find a somewhat more tangible representation of my swirling thoughts. A visual list of things that looked interesting to me.
Boats. I wanted more boats in my life. I wasn’t sure why, but the photo appealed to me.
18 months later, I randomly met a cute sailor, and 9 years ago (this week!) I married that sailor. It’s safe to say that boats are definitely in my life–this week more than most, as the bi-annual Newport Bermuda Race is happening, and I volunteer at our yacht club to help check the boats in as they arrive over the week.
And every 2 years, we all pretty much block out the entire week. I work the duty desk every day, Monday through Saturday, and we have no idea what the week will look like. Some years, we sit there as bored as the skippers and crew sitting in the windless waters waiting for them to crawl in on Wednesday. Maybe Thursday? Friday?
And some years, like this year, they all got piled up together somewhere in the middle and then came in all at once when the wind filled in on Tuesday and early Wednesday.
If you ask someone how long it takes to sail from Newport to Bermuda. The answer will always be…
“It depends on the wind.”
And I have a similar answer to people who want to know how long it takes to level up a career, fill their teaching rosters, or launch a new project.
Because while it might not depend on the wind, specifically, for us, these things do have a similar element of the uncontrollable to them.
And as a seasoned (or salty?) sailor knows, there are also plenty of things you CAN do. Things that you DO have control over, that will help to speed things up.
So to answer your question about how long it’ll take for you to see your efforts pay off in real ways, I’ve put together Five somewhat clunky sailing metaphors for you to ponder about what you need to have to make sure your trip is as smooth (and quick) as possible.
1. A Good, Solid Boat That is in Tip Top Condition
A few boats this year had to retire from the race, and some even had to abandon ship because of mechanical failures. The sailors were ready, but the boat wasn’t quite up to the challenge. Steering failures, rudder leaks, and damaged sails let them down.
Likewise, for us, you can have great ideas, and be full of enthusiasm, but if you’re not in good shape physically, you’re going to get knocked down by the first cold that comes around. You can’t do good work if you start out exhausted or burnt out. It’s important to do what you need to do to give yourself that good, solid foundation. We want your body to be rested, your mind to be focused, and your immune system strong so you can just move through the work that needs to be done.
2. Safety Training/Knowing how to deal with sea monsters
The amount of forms these sailors have to turn in to me, proving that they properly trained their crew on safety features, all took safety and training courses, and carried all the required safety gear on board is intense. And we could learn a thing or two from them. Because 2 boats sank in this year’s race, and both crews had to get out of their sinking boat, get into liferafts, and then get pulled onto other boats. All in the dead of night, in the middle of the freaking ocean, in Very choppy water, (and sidenote, nobody is mentioning this, but there are things like sharks that live in that water). Every person was safe, uninjured, and now happily drinking a few rum swizzles on the yacht club dock.
While we might not be dealing with actual sharks, whales, and other sea creatures we do have our own monsters to battle when we’re attempting something like a career pivot, or up-leveling, or getting a new project off the ground. Resistance, Fear, and Imposter Syndrome, WILL make their presence known to you. And, in fact, are a lot more likely to appear than a shark in the middle of the Gulf Stream.
Do you know how to recognize each of those mindset monsters? Can you tell the difference between deciding not to do something because it was the wrong choice, and deciding not to do something because you got scared of what people might think?
What will you do when you wake up in the middle of the night thinking, “Who am I to think I could pull something like this off?”
Because you will. At some point, those thought disasters will happen, and you’ll want to have taken your mindset safety training courses first.
3. A “Yes, If” Attitude
From rescuing an entire 9-person crew and squeezing them onto an already crowded boat, to replacing a sick crew member a mere hours before the start of the race (the new guy had to have his passport FedExed to Bermuda to clear him for customs because he didn’t have it on him when he got pulled onto the boat!) and every moment of Just. Figuring. It. All. Out. in between, the sailors that sat down in front of me in Bermuda all had a great attitude about everything.
And it’s the same with the rest of us. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they have to shut down their project because they aren’t willing to get creative with their problem-solving skills. Some actual things I have heard over the years:
- “I can’t teach in my house anymore because there’s no longer free parking on my street.”
- “I can’t book this tour because I might be pregnant by the end of it and have morning sickness.”
- “I can’t pursue my dream of teaching at the college level because I don’t have a DMA/PhD” (I have several clients without this degree who are now teaching at the college level)
Now, obviously, if your boat is taking on water in the middle of the ocean, you abandon that ship. But I guarantee the Person in Charge went through every possible solution first. Obviously there are similar kinds of circumstances that you can’t Yes, if your way out of, but I find that many (dare I say, most) creatives I have come across default to giving up as soon as they hit their first snag. Don’t do that.
4. Acceptance of Things Out of Their Control
I have seen MAJOR international sailing races get canceled due to lack of wind. Literally thousands of people have flown in, millions of dollars have been spent on the event, vendors have been brought in, and television crews set up to air it live. And…..canceled.
And everyone just kind of accepts it and goes home.
You can’t control the wind. And you can’t sail a boat if there’s no wind.
Sometimes the wind is perfect, and it’s a sunny day with a perfect breeze, and both sailors and spectators have an amazing day. Sometimes it’s not like that.
Sometimes, you’ll luck out with your projects. Someone who happened to be in the audience by random coincidence wants to book you for their program. A celebrity was there and talked about you on social media. Sometimes that doesn’t happen.
You can’t control luck.
As an artist, there will be events that get canceled due to circumstances out of your control. Everyone misses at least one concert because a flight got canceled, or there was a weather event, or whatever, and no matter how many solutions you tried, you couldn’t make it work. It’s okay.
5. Have the Right Sails
On a boat, it’s the sails that catch the wind and make the boat move forward. Lucky for me, the sailor I married is also a physics professor and can explain it all to me in the finest detail, but don’t worry, I will spare you.
So while you don’t have any control over the wind. And you don’t have any control over your luck, you DO have control over what you do with it. How you leverage it. When you meet someone who is influential, kind, or supportive in some big way, do you just say “Thank you so much!” and leave it at that? Or do you make an effort to stay in touch and Invite them to your next event?
Do you have some promotional materials at the ready in case someone asks for them? I have a folder in my Google Workspace drive labeled “Executive” and in there, I have a folder that contains headshots (both vertical and horizontal) bios of varying lengths, templates for press releases, blurbs, etc., and my One-Sheet for speaking engagements. It’s all right there, so when someone says “Can you send me something?” I don’t panic.
So, as I sit here at my duty desk post, watching the boats come in and reflecting on the adventures they’ve had, I think about how it all mirrors our own paths to achieving our goals.
Just like those sailors, we face unpredictable elements, challenges, and unexpected twists. But we also have control over many factors – our preparation, our attitude, our resilience, and our ability to adapt. Remember, you don’t have to have the perfect conditions to succeed; you just need to be ready to make the most of the conditions you have.
Embrace the uncertainties, keep yourself in good condition, and always be ready to adjust your sails. Whether it’s a career move, a new project, or your own personal growth, your success depends on how well you navigate the waters, not just on the wind that propels you forward. Keep sailing, my friend, and enjoy the view.
You’ll get there when you get there.
Cheers,
Kate
P.S. My 1:1 coaching roster is full right now, but I anticipate having a few openings starting in September/October.
If you’ve been thinking about working with a coach to meet your life or career goals this year, go ahead and schedule a (free) 30-minute call now. You’ll be able to decide if this is a good fit and get a jump start on things with a few actionable takeaways to work on over the summer.
You can book that call right here.
The Perfection Paradox
In my work as a coach–both with my group programs and in my 1:1 work, my clients have one huge thing in common: They are all seriously high achievers.
Concert violinists, principal players in orchestras, department chairs at Big.Important.Schools. Doctors, lawyers, mathematicians, community activists– I suppose it doesn’t really matter WHAT they do, so much as the fact that whatever that is, they are people who set high standards for themselves, and they work very hard to meet those standards, and then they set even higher ones.
It means that when they launch something– a project, a program, or an event of some kind, it’s not just GOOD, it’s AMAZING. Their wins are often big wins. The kinds of wins that change industries, break new ground and challenge the way people see their work or even society at large.
But this kind of high-achieving, high-standard-setting person (and, hello, by the way, I see you over there–you’re the same, aren’t you?) this character trait that we see in high-achievers in ALL industries has one particular monster that they battle over and over again:
Perfectionism.
Perfectionism, is, at its most severe, a debilitating symptom of mental health disorders like anxiety and OCD, but even in its most mild, everyday form, it can stop a person from moving forward.
- The painter who cannot put a show together because nothing they do is deemed “perfect” to them.
- The writer who never publishes because it’s never “good enough.”
- The recording artist who can’t stop editing, re-records everything three times, and then finally gives up the project altogether because they know “it could be better!”
As a fellow artist and borderline high achiever, I respect the desire to set and meet a higher standard, and I REALLY respect people who have the patience to keep at something. To revise, and edit, and think, and improve it. I suppose I did that naturally as a cellist–it was called practicing. But as a writer, this is something I’ve had to learn to do though the book-writing process. This podcast, for instance, will have been written out almost stream of consciousness– and then spoken into a mic to turn it into the podcast episode you’re listening to.
I’ve always been that way. I was the student who would sit on my notes for a research paper for months, only to wake myself up at 3 am the night before it was due, write out a first draft, and print it out just in time to walk into class and hand it to the teacher. (yes, youngsters, we used to have to hand in actual Paper Papers–we couldn’t just send over the file.)
I digress.
So, as much as I see both sides of the coin, As a coach, my job is to dig a little deeper. What’s behind that perfectionism, and how do we get this amazing human to move forward with a project?
One of my clients hopped into her Zoom call looking like she was going to explode from excitement.
“I’ve just realized something!” she explained. “ALL RESISTANCE IS FEAR!!!! When I procrastinate? It’s fear. When I create busyness in my life so I don’t have to work on it? FEAR. When I say it’s just not good enough? FEAR.”
Yes, grasshopper. It’s fear. It’s always fear.
I get it–your name is on that thing––forever! And that’s a terrifying thought. And however a person judges that one piece, that’s it–that’s your career and your legacy.
At least, that’s how it feels.
But is it really?
I can think of a time that I almost pulled the plug on a HUGE project because I didn’t think it would work. It wasn’t “Ready.” It wasn’t “Good enough.” And my coach at the time, Jennifer Rosenfeld, asked me a simple question:
JR: “What’s the worst thing that could happen here?”
Me: “It could fail, and be a huge embarrassment to me!”
JR: Okay…so it fails, and you’re embarrassed, and then what happens?
KK: My colleagues will think I’m an idiot.
JR: Okay….so your colleagues see you have this flop, and they think you’re an idiot. Then what?
KKUmmm…I suppose they’ll at least see me as someone who had the guts to try something?
JR: mmmmhmmm…and then what?
KK: Well, they’ll probably have forgotten about it by the next news cycle…And I suppose it’s not going to be my last project–I’ll do other things. And hopefully, those future projects won’t flop, and….yeah..okay, I’ll be fine either way.”
Out loud, I was screaming: ” It’s not up to my standards yet!” But inside, I was screaming: “I’m scared people won’t like it.”
So how DO we, as high achievers, navigate that line between wanting to meet our high standards, and not allowing perfectionism to get in the way of our actually doing ANYTHING.
1. Put actionable deadlines in place (and make yourself accountable to someone)
It’s not enough for me to say that I’m going to finish the first draft of my book by mid-July. I am HANDING OVER A FIRST (self-edited) DRAFT TO MY EDITOR BEFORE I GET ON A PLANE ON JULY 18th. She’s expecting it. She’s carved out time in her (summer) schedule to do this work, and it would be so shitty of me to say, oh, sorry—not done yet. And yes, it’s just the first draft and it’s still got plenty of time to “get perfect” but I’ve got those deadlines set for every step of the process. The fully edited manuscript is due on a certain date, and I’ll have enough launch events, podcasts, and appearances set up that there’s no way I’ll be able to pull the plug on it being published.
And that, honestly, is what it would take for me to hand it over when I COULD still make it better. I’m hoping my high-school self will re-appear, and say, hey–you usually got an A anyway…. 😉
This is one reason I encourage the people in my Profit Pivot course to decide on a venue and a date at the beginning of the process and pay a deposit, or announce it publicly. Anything to not give yourself an easy out.
Do you have a summer project idea (see Episode 25!) around learning a new language? Set up a call with a native speaker for September. Knowing that on that date, you’re expected to be able to have a basic conversation in, say, Portuguese, will keep you from giving up by claiming you’ll “never be perfect, so what’s the point?”
Wanting to learn some new repertoire, or create a new art series? Set up the concert or the gallery show NOW, and work towards that goal.
2. Ask yourself what is essential about your project
This might seem like an obvious question now, but trust me, it is so easy to lose sight of it when you’re in the middle of the project. When you’re feeling that pull between launching a project into the world, and wondering if maybe, just maybe, you should make it better, first? It’s important to take a step back and ask yourself why you were doing this in the first place.
What was Essential about learning a new language? (Challenging yourself? Being able to communicate better when you take that trip to the Azores in October?)
What was Essential about putting a gallery show together? (proving that you could create 10 somewhat cohesive pieces in a certain amount of time? Getting your name out there in the gallery listings?)
Asking yourself this important question gets you out of your own head, and out of your own fear and anxiety, and reminds you that the reasons behind the idea are still valid.
Because even if your accent is terrible and you only know a handful of phrases, you’ve STILL challenged your brain, and you WILL be able to communicate better in the Azores.
And even if you know you can create better art, you DID create 10 cohesive works in the time allotted, and you DID get your name in the gallery listings.
Those things matter, and they probably even matter more than your fear of what other people think.
3. Ask yourself what the worst-case scenario is, and play that out until it’s no longer threatening to you
Just like my coach Jennifer did for me, take yourself through your worst-case scenario. You’ve curated a concert. Worst-case scenario, nobody comes. Zero tickets were purchased, and now you’re out the money for the performers, the venue, and the marketing. (Actually, the real worst-case scenario is when you’re on tour and only 3 people turn up to a concert because of apparent threats to the venue that you knew nothing about at the time–ask me how I know…)
But anyway… What do you do? Maybe some of the musicians involved will offer to reduce or even go without payment….but this is worst case, right, so let’s say you have to pay them. So you spend your last savings to cover the costs. You’ll make more, your accounts won’t be empty for long. And i bet you learned a lot. I would even bet that you know exactly what went wrong, or what you could have done better to get people to show up.
The magic in this exercise is to keep going with “Okay, and then what would you do?” until you find yourself happily moving along, and doing your thing again—fear, resistance, and perfectionism defeated.
4. See Each Project as a Catalyst for Your Next Level
Even if what was Essential to you up in question 2, was to create the be-all, end-all masterpiece of the century. The definitive recording of the Beethoven Violin Sonatas, or a piece of public art that would be the most important piece of public art ever made, or to be the world’s greatest whatever of all time.
First of all, we can discuss the Ego another time, but I appreciate the nature of such a quest.
There is, however, something to be said for seeing this quest as more of a life-long journey than a hole-in-one opportunity. There’s a beauty, a richness, and a quiet strength in seeing each output as a step towards something greater.
“You only grow by coming to the end of something and by beginning something else.”
― John Irving said in The World According to Garp
Every time you allow yourself to bring a project to completion, you are also turning the page–advancing yourself in your own story. The plot thickens, the dots begin to connect, and the main character (that’s you) is further developed.
In our previous podcast episode, Episode 26 (not on the blog), I interviewed Dr. Meredith Hite Estevez, author of the new book, Artists for Joy, and she shared her ritual for finishing a project. She calls them her Four Curtain Call Questions, and you can get the whole bonus chapter that explains them further in the Episode 26 show notes!
Anyway, when she comes to the end of a project she asks herself these 4 questions:
- What am I Celebrating?
- What am I Grieving?
- What am I Noticing?
- What am I Hopeful for?
And I think this is such a beautiful practice because it allows us to have grace for its imperfections. You can celebrate the win–of completing the challenge, of the 10 phrases of Portuguese you learned, of getting your words and thoughts (or your playing, or your artwork) out into the world, or even the 3 beautiful souls who bravely came to your concert.
You can notice what occurred. The friends who showed up to help, the amazing coincidence of that conference full of music lovers looking for something to do that evening happening down the street that very weekend or your child announces that they made a new friend at school–there’s a new family that just moved from Portugal, and they live right in your neighborhood! You can notice how you felt when you were working on the project, and how you needed to manage your energy levels. You can notice all the things that will help you next time.
You can grieve whatever you need to let go of: Your expectations of higher turnout, that one funny note that couldn’t be edited into what you wanted, the chapter ending that never did feel quite right. You can see it, and acknowledge it, wrap your head and heart around not meeting it, and then release it.
And you can hope for its success, or you can hope that people enjoyed it, and you can hope that they invite you back, and you can hope that the next time around, it feels a little easier, that you’ll get a little bit closer to that vision of perfection. To your masterpiece.
Because you’re about to start again. Just this time, along with your high standards, you’ll get to bring a little more knowledge, a bit more experience, and a boatload more confidence along for the ride.
Because that’s the Perfection Paradox. We don’t want to finish something if it’s not perfect, but only by finishing something, and then finishing another something, and then another, do we stand any chance of getting close to the perfection we’re seeking.
Cheers,
Kate x
How to Plan Your Most Successful Summer Ever
Congratulations, Friend, on making it through May-cember! For parents, educators, and artists alike, May is the spring equivalent of December–when every group, ensemble, class, and social club is required to have an end-of-year event, AND you’re trying to get your ducks in a row for summer travel, camps, festivals, houseguests, and graduations.
For some of us, June isn’t all that much better, but at least the end is in sight.
And beyond that? Lies summer. Beautiful Summer.
I have a visceral memory of waking up one morning the summer after my senior year in high school. It was that period of time between the end of exams and graduation. I didn’t have to go to school, but I hadn’t started my summer job or headed off to my first festival yet. As my eyes opened, I could hear the birds chirping and feel the breeze coming through the window. It was sunny and bright outside—the cold dark mornings of getting to 7:10 Chamber Orchestra long behind me. It was a feeling of freedom. Of finally being able to exhale after what seemed like a decade of holding my breath. My parents were at work, and I had the whole house and the whole day (the whole week, really!) to do whatever I wanted.
Total bliss.
Knowing myself at that age, I would have immediately sat down with a journal and mapped out all of the repertoire I wanted to learn that summer, my practice schedule (even then, I loved to practice) all of the friends I wanted to see, and things I wanted to do (all while having a part-time job at Ravinia and attending some festivals and camps).
And then before I knew it, it was late August and very little (if any) of it had happened. Some practicing, sure, some friends, of course, and a couple of activities, but most of my list would have remained unchecked.
It wasn’t that I had been over-ambitious in my goals, either. It was more that I was lacking three key pieces of the puzzle. I’ve learned my lesson now, and today I will share with you how you, too, can plan your most successful summer ever.
What, exactly, IS a successful summer? Well, that is entirely up to you.
- Maybe you have an ambitious project in mind that you’d like to complete. A successful summer would see that finished before you lit the Labor Day grill.
- Or maybe you’ve been overworking for the past 9 months and are teetering on the edge of burnout. Maybe for you, a successful summer would be more about saying no to things and finding ways to rest and relax.
- Or maybe for you, a successful summer looks like a balance of all the things. Family time, beach time, work projects, finally learning to play tennis and lounging by the pool reading that growing stack of books.
Whatever a successful summer looks like to you, what if I told you that you’re pretty much guaranteed to be successful if you put just 3 specific things in place? Today, I’m going to take you through each of these 3 magical components and explain why and how they work.
#1: Systems
If a goal is the desired outcome, your system is the behavior you put in place that will inevitably lead to that outcome, so you always want to start with getting a system or two in place.
My 18-year-old self wanted to go through all 40 Popper etudes that summer, but all I managed to do was to put that idea out into the air. I’d randomly flip through the book and choose one that appealed to me at the moment, and I’d guess I probably got through about 10 of them. A system would have looked like me dividing the number of etudes by the number of weeks I had and then setting aside a specific time of day, or amount of time per day to work on a set amount. 40 Etudes, (some I had already learned, most were new) divided by 10 weeks? 4 etudes per week. If I had spent just 30 minutes a day on them, I would have had a much higher rate of success.
This summer? My personal goal is to finish writing my book. The system I’ve put in place? I sit down to write from 10 am-12 pm each day, and I’m averaging 1 chapter every 2 days (that’s a first draft, completely unedited chapter). If I can keep to that system (and so far, so good) I’ll meet my goal.
Systems can work for small things in your life too. Doing a different household chore each day so that you’re always on top of them can be a system. I go over my stats and finances and do my bookkeeping every Friday. That’s a system. I have a system for caring for my garden.
And while the thought of having to create and implement systems for every area of your life can sound overwhelming (and maybe overbearing, too) I promise you it’s not. If you create them one at a time and start to implement them into your daily routine, they become habits, which means they start to happen automatically, without needing to think about them. Systems help to reduce the number of decisions you make each day, and they are a way to focus your energy on the actions that will (actually) lead to your desired outcome rather than wasting your energy daydreaming about your goal without ever taking action.
#2: Measure Your Progress
In the Arts, it can be very difficult to measure one’s progress. If an artist works at the canvas for two hours, is the piece better? Sometimes we’ve made it worse. Sometimes it feels the same. In truth, it’s all in the eye of the beholder. A violinist can measure the consistency of making a shift after 15 minutes of practicing it, but how do they measure whether their phrasing is more “heartfelt”?
So to borrow a term from the business world, we’re going to look for some Key Performance Indicators, or KPIs. A KPI for a salesman might be the number of calls they made per day, the number of conversations they had, and the number of deals they closed. It could also be the number of refunds they had to give, or the number of referrals they received from happy customers.
If the goal is to run a 10K, and the system is getting out the door for a run every day at 7am, then some KPIs could be the timings of your runs, the distance you were able to go, the number of 5Ks you’ve done, and your heart rate both while running and resting.
As for my book project? My goal is to finish the manuscript, My system is to write each day from 10-12, and my KPIs are things like word count, chapters finished, sources cited, quotes checked, and revisions made.
What do I DO with these KPIs? I keep track of them. A spreadsheet, or a notebook, it doesn’t really matter as long as you are measuring and checking in regularly. This will help keep you on track and will help you to see trends. Maybe you’ll notice that you never get out the door for your run on Thursdays because you have Wednesday night choir practice and you’re always too tired. Seeing this on your tracking sheet week after week will help you to make adjustments as you go.
#3: Put Some Accountability in Place
Even the laziest student will put in the practice hours before a recital. Our wannabe 10K runner will get their butt off the couch in the days leading up to a race. In both of these cases, the accountability isn’t in the deadline event itself, it’s knowing that people will know how we did. It’s not “Well, recitals are important goalposts throughout the year, so I should prepare”, but rather. “Grandma is going to be there and I want her to think I’m really good!”
Not “This race will be a good checkpoint for me in my progress” but more likely “My friends and family are going to be out there watching me! I don’t want to embarrass myself!”
I love the story of the two friends who acted as each other’s workout accountability partners by swapping 1 shoe after each workout. That way, if they didn’t show up the next morning, the OTHER person couldn’t work out either, because they wouldn’t have both of their shoes!
I always smile when clients show up to a session and tell me that they have crammed a ton of work into the last few days because they wanted to be able to report progress to me. They’re always so embarrassed to tell me that, but that’s part of why they hired me in the first place. We’re all smart and capable humans. If we could do all of the things we wanted to do without accountability, we would all have accomplished so much more! The point is that, after years of sitting on their ideas, not making ANY progress on it, here they are—making progress, seeing their ideas and projects come to life—even if by cramming in the work 2 days before each coaching session. They’re still doing the work, and they’re still getting to those desired outcomes.
As for my book? I have hired an amazing book/publishing coach to help keep me on track. I meet with her regularly and report on my writing progress as we talk through cover design, layout, and marketing strategies. She has important work to do on the book as well, and I know that if I’m not writing it, she can’t do her job either.
- Want to read more books this summer? Join a book club, or find a friend who has similar taste and reading goals and set a time to discuss each book.
- Want to take on a big project? Hire a coach or join a mastermind group to have the support and accountability in place.
Whatever your goals are this summer, try putting these three things in place. Create a system around it, figure out what is measurable about it, commit to keeping track of the numbers, and find someone who can keep you accountable. You’ll be seeing those desired outcomes come to life right before your eyes, and this Labor Day Weekend, you’ll be looking back on your most successful summer ever.
Speaking of masterminds, this year’s round of my 9-month group program, Creatives Leadership Academy is finishing up next week–I can’t even believe it. The next round doesn’t start until October, but I already have people interested in joining. It is a limited group, so if CLA is something that you’ve been thinking about, let me know now and I’ll add you to the waitlist so you don’t miss out on the opportunity when I officially open enrollment in September. Book a call at KateKayaian.com or through the link in the show notes and we can discuss all of the things.
Cheers,
Kate