Tales From The Lane
Living Your Best Life as Creative Artist
The 4 Crucial Truths That Changed Everything for Me
I was scrolling through my phone yesterday looking for a specific photo from years ago, and wow–is that ever a mind trip! With a flick of the thumb, I was transporting myself back in time—from this past year of career wins and family losses, back to photos of everyone in masks during COVID, further back to concert tours and vacations around the world, and further still to my Boston freelance days.
It was there that I stopped scrolling. Looking at a photo of me from back then, I appeared happy and smiling, but the truth is that I was deeply unhappy. By all accounts, I had a successful career. I had steady work—perhaps even too much work–I got to work with my best friends every day, and I felt appreciated and respected by my colleagues.
But there I was. Miserable. I for sure wasn’t living the life I wanted, but I also wasn’t entirely sure what the life I wanted looked like. I was working insane hours each week, but then, any time I had a day off, it would just disappear into thin air, with none of those to-do list items that had been piling up getting done.
I had notebooks full of ideas for projects, ensembles, books, you name it. But I vacillated between “way too busy” and “way too lazy” in a way that kept me burned out and unfulfilled.
There’s a meditation exercise that Tara Mohr teaches in her book, Playing Big, where you get to spend some time with your inner mentor—who is you, 20 years from now. I do this exercise daily, but at this moment, looking at 2013 me, it was I, as the inner mentor, looking at past Kate saying to her, “Don’t worry, Kiki, You’re going to figure it out soon enough.”
And I did.
Flipping forward now through the photos, I saw a different story. I saw the story of a woman learning 4 crucial truths over a period of 5 years. Those 4 crucial truths led to 4 major shifts in my thinking, and thus, my actions, and were the catalyst for the life I have now. I’d like to share those with you today so that you might be able to make these shifts in less time than it took me.
Crucial Truth #1: I Needed More Structure in my Schedule.
When I decided to become a professional musician, I had dreams of this free life, where I didn’t have to clock into an office. I could sleep till noon if I wanted (I’m an early bird, so I never wanted to, but the point is that I could…) but that’s not what happened. Because every day was different, I didn’t know how to schedule things. I thought the point of being an artist was that you didn’t HAVE to schedule. I could go to the grocery store in the middle of a Wednesday afternoon if I wanted.
That is, unless I had a rehearsal that day, or if I wasn’t cramming some practicing in for a last-minute concert, or just hanging out with friends because, why not?
Because I could do everything at any time, I often ended up not doing anything ever. Bills would pile up, the fridge would empty out, and the laundry would start to take over the bedroom.
I decided to give “Structure” a shot.
As a freelancer, each week was a little bit different, but when I looked at everything all together, there were definitely blocks of time that I NEVER worked. I was always free between 6 and 8:00 (ish–depending on where that rehearsal was and how I was getting there) and I was always free on Saturday afternoons. I taught in the mornings and usually had a concert at night, but afternoons were generally free. Mondays are an artists’ day off, so those were usually free. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough for me to put important weekly tasks like laundry, grocery shopping, and life admin in places in the calendar that weren’t going to be messed with.
Beyond that, I started to take out my calendar each Saturday afternoon and plan out the week ahead. Where were my rehearsals? When would I practice? When would I meet up with friends? Etc.
It worked!
Oh my god, it worked! And instead of making me feel confined, it made my life so much less stressful! In fact, I remember noticing how much time I had been spending feeling stressed—each Monday afternoon, realizing that I had wasted it away, or a Saturday afternoon spent in front of the TV–suddenly having to get up and get to a concert. All of that stress disappeared when I had gotten things done earlier, and could actually spend an hour relaxing in front of HGTV before playing a Mahler Symphony (as one does).
The cherry on top, was when I saw a kick-starter campaign by a little start-up company called Ink & Volt, selling planners. When I saw them, I knew I had found MY planner. It was laid out perfectly for my needs, and 9 years later, I’m still using them! They are a time-blocker’s dream.
Crucial Truth #2: Looking at Life with a “Yes, if” lens will get you farther than a “No, because” lens.
I’ve got a whole blog post dedicated to this topic (you can read it here) but the general idea is that when presented with an opportunity, our natural human default will be to think of all of the reasons we should say no.
“No, because it’s too expensive.”
“No, because we don’t have time.”
“No, because we don’t have enough people.”
It’s always about what we lack. Money, Time, Support.
What I learned, thanks in part to a colleague who was such an extreme “no, because-er” that he could’ve been the national spokesperson for the phrase, was that focusing so much on what you lacked, kept you in lack. If you passed on an opportunity because you didn’t have enough money, you were denying yourself the opportunity to go out and GET MORE MONEY.
Looking at these moments through the lens of “yes, if” didn’t necessarily mean that we were going to move forward blindly, it just meant that we were giving ourselves the chance to imagine what it would be like.
“Yes, if we raised an extra $10,000” leads to: “Okay, how can we raise $10K?”
“Yes, if had an extra 5 hours a week” leads to “What can we outsource, or put on pause in order to free up some extra time for this?”
“Yes, if we had 5 more people to help” leads to “who might we be able to recruit as volunteers for this project?”
It opens your eyes to new possibilities, and those new possibilities are what lead to growth.
Once I learned this Crucial Truth, I saw everything differently. Suddenly I could do all sorts of things I had previously thought were off limits–simply because I didn’t currently have the resources.
“No, because” was keeping me stuck. “Yes, if” forced me to get creative and find solutions.
Crucial Truth #3: Overwhelm Means the Step isn’t Broken Down Enough.
Around this time, I decided to record an album of French Cello music. I had always wanted to make an album but had a whole cadre of “No, becauses” at the ready. Once I had gotten past those excuses (no label, no equipment, no money, etc.) I was well on my way.
I found funding, I had a brilliant pianist, I had a stack of music, I had a friend who was going to record it, etc. etc. But then the whole project just seemed overwhelming. How many hours? Securing a Label? Marketing it? Not to mention learning and rehearsing all of the music. The list of tasks seemed to grow bigger and scarier with every day.
I was overwhelmed.
And then I read somewhere that any task that seems overwhelming just isn’t broken down enough.
“Learn all the music” is overwhelming.
“Practice the Exposition of the Poulenc” is okay.
“Secure a Label” is overwhelming.
“Make a list of potential labels” is okay.
You get the idea.
In the blank pages at the back of my planner, I took every single part of the recording project and broke them down into the tiniest of steps. Once I was sure that none of them were overwhelming, I was able to get to work. Some days I was able to tick off 5 or 6 boxes, and some days, only 1. But I never felt a sense of dread. Each small step informed the next and the next.
I’ve used this method again and again. So much so, in fact, that I don’t even think I realize it. It’s just become standard practice. Currently, I’m using it with the launch of my new digital course. Everything from the emails to the social media graphics to the landing page to the module scripts to the recording of the videos was broken down into small steps that I could do without breaking into a sweat.
Mostly, that is…which brings me to…
Crucial Truth #4: Courage is a Muscle.
Because you can break down the steps to make them less overwhelming, but sooner or later, one of those teeny tiny little steps is going to freak you the hell out. And that’s when you need courage.
“Email Johannes Moser” was a teeny tiny step on my list of tasks when putting together my Virtual Summer Cello Festival back in the spring of 2020. Easy. the previous day’s task was to get his email address (tick!) and the day before that, I had written a faculty invitation email (tick!). So now all I had to do was open Gmail, add his email address to the email I had written, and hit send.
Not an overwhelming task, but it felt HUGE. If he said yes, it would draw a lot of attention and give a lot of street cred to the festival. A lot was riding on it. Also, he didn’t know me, and he owed me nothing, so it felt like I was putting my reputation at stake.
But I gathered my courage, counted down from 3, hit “send” and then waited for my heart to stop racing.
It had only just started beating normally when I received a reply (Ah, remember lockdown? When we had nothing better to do but sit around and reply to emails?)
“This sounds fantastic! I’d love to!”
It was like doing 20 reps for my courage muscle. The next email to a world-famous cellist was easier, and the one after that even easier. Before I knew it, I had my All-Star line up all lined up.
And now I’m facing each and every intimidating and scary moment with a slightly stronger Courage muscle, and that Courage muscle has helped me do some very brave things indeed:
- Move from a major arts mecca to a 21-square-mile island in the middle of the ocean.
- Pivot from orchestral freelancing to more solo and chamber music performances.
- Completely transform how I taught, with the Bridge Online Cello Studio
- Become a Coach.
- Quit Performing altogether.
- Quit Teaching altogether.
- Start a Blog
- Add in a Podcast.
- Write a Book.
Do I still feel nervous? Yes. Of course. Nerves, Imposter Syndrome. All of those negative voices are in your head. We all deal with them and they never go away. But the antidote is courage. The courage to say “Not today, Satan!” to those negative voices. The courage to send that Imposter Syndrome to the back seat and say “I’m driving today!”
There is still and always will be, that moment of truth. The period of mustering the courage. The “Will she or won’t she?” but more and more they show up, and I’m like, “Oh, hey! Yeah, she will. She ALWAYS does remember?”
and then, heart racing, I do the thing.
Looking back on this list, I can see how all 4 shifts kind of work together. I can say “yes, if” all day long, but unless I have the tasks broken down, and have the time carved out in my schedule, and the courage to do the scary ones, nothing would get done. All four of these truths need to be incorporated into one machine.
I had to learn one at a time, and it took me a very long time to get things where they are now, but once I had all 4 going, there was no stopping me.
And now you have them too. I can’t wait to see what you can do with them. How much less stressful your life will be once you’ve added a bit of structure to your schedule. How much your life will expand once you start saying “Yes, if” to more opportunities. how much more you’ll get done, without the overwhelm of an un-broken down task, and all of the amazing things you’ll accomplish once you start to invite courage into your life.
If you want a chance to put all 4 of these shifts into place this week, it’s not too late to join me for my “Launch Your Legacy” 5-Day Challenge. We’re starting today, and by Friday, you’ll have your artistic project mapped out–with the details, the timeline, the steps, and the vision. Whether your project is an event, a product, or a career transition, the first tiny step is to register and we’ll handle the rest.
I hope to see you there my friend!
Cheers,
Kate
How Will You be Remembered as an Artist?
At what point in our lives as artists should we start thinking about our Legacy? When we first started, walking into our very first piano lesson at the age of 5, or our first ballet class, or our first art class in summer camp–whatever it was–it probably never occurred to any of us that this would be a significant part of our lives, or that our contribution to this craft would ever come into consideration.
Then, growing up in these various arts worlds, we stood in awe of the great masters–the world-renowned performers, pedagogues, and prize winners, and looked at their body of work as their great legacy–the recordings, videos, novels, movies, Tonys, Emmys, Grammys, Academy Awards and Pulitzers. Possibly even a Nobel Prize or two. We watched The Kennedy Center Honors–an annual televised spectacular that honors the legacies of the greatest of the great American performing artists.
But what about us mere mortals of the industry?
Do our contributions count? Of course, we’d like them to. After spending decades of our lives in service to our art, it would be nice to feel as though those efforts mattered. As if they made some difference…to somebody…somewhere.
And, my friend, I’m sure it has.
It’s worth thinking about what, exactly, we want that legacy to be though. How DO we want to be remembered?
I remember watching a Masterclass given by the violinist Midori at Tanglewood one summer. Someone in the audience asked her about her legacy, and she began talking passionately about her foundation, Midori & Friends, and their mission to provide tuition-free music lessons to students in New York City.
“Oh!” interrupted the questioner “I meant your own legacy…as a violinist. As a child prodigy and world-class performer.”
She smiled and responded something along the lines of, “Many people play the violin as well as I do. Many people have made recordings, and many people start quite young. But this foundation? Providing these experiences to so many young people who might not ever have it otherwise? That is something unique that I can leave as my legacy.”
It was at that moment that I understood that the pursuit of excellence in my craft (in my case, as a cellist) was important, but perhaps it wasn’t the most important thing, and for certain, it was not unique–there are thousands of good cellists out there–and that when the time came, my legacy as an artist and a human would stem more from how I had helped to shape the world around me than how flawless my Dvorak Concerto was.
But how does one create a legacy when you’re still in the middle of things? Do legends just sort of happen, or can you be intentional about it?
A lot of us wonder if we’ll just go along, and after a long career of being good at what we do, earning the respect of our industry peers, and doing good work with good colleagues, we’ll just sort of fade out. Maybe we’ll have to stop performing at some point, maybe no one will really notice or care if we don’t publish one more novel, or paint one more canvas.
After spending a lifetime looking up to the masters of past generations, what if no one is looking up to us? What if we Just. Fade. Away in a cloud of insignificance?
It seems a bit melodramatic, but I’ve had this come up in more conversations than I can count. One of the perks of being a coach is that I get the honest truth from everyone. So while maybe no one is talking about it backstage or after a performance, trust me when I say it’s on a lot of people’s minds!
The good news is that truly, there is nothing to worry about. If leaving behind some kind of artistic legacy is important to you, then all you need to do is create one.
It really is that easy.
How?
Let’s dive into it.
Throughout my career, I have yet to meet a fellow artist–be they a writer, a dancer, a musician, or a cinematographer–who didn’t have an idea of something THEY wanted to do to shape the world around them. From educational opportunities to community and social justice initiatives to creating a new way of doing things, I think every one of us is tapped on the shoulder by our unique ideas. And that idea whispers to us “You should do this. I’ve chosen you.”
Whether we take on that challenge or not is a different story, of course! There are so many reasons not to:
- You’re too busy
- You’re not fancy enough–not enough of an expert.
- You don’t know how.
- You just haven’t gotten around to it yet.
And in “The Perfect Time to Start a New Project”, I talked about some of the times when it makes more sense to give that idea a hard pass, and also when perhaps you’re just making excuses. Check it out if you’re hesitating on an idea and unsure if it’s the right time to act on it.
So maybe you know that you want to do something, but the specifics are a bit vague. It’s as if that idea was playing a game of “telephone” and by the time the whisper got to you it was a bit garbled and nonsensical.
Step 1: Identify as much about that idea as you can.
Maybe you already have a highly detailed Google doc, and maybe you know that it has something to do with a massive field and….I don’t know…baseball?
Whatever.
Write it all out and focus on what you DO know. As I’ve said before, that is an excellent question that will get your out of many of rut.
Step 2: Think about the overall legacy you want to leave.
What do you want people to say about you at your funeral? How do you want to be remembered as a person? Were you kind? Always prepared? A bit messy but always a lot of fun? Supportive? Loyal? Fiercely Motivated? Quiet and calm? or the life of the party? Always striving for excellence?
What about the people you worked with: did you collaborate? Were you a lone wolf? What projects were you a part of? Which groups or organizations did you align yourself with? Who did you help? Who benefitted from your work? A specific group of people? A community? The industry?
Step 3: Combine Your Initial Idea and Your Legacy Ideals:
Now you have the What and the Why. If the idea was to run a workshop for students, your legacy ideals will help you figure out what is going to be most important about that workshop.
Is it to raise the standards of performance? Is it to create a sense of community? Is it to change the way the learn?
Because while a thousand artists might have the idea to run a workshop, everyone’s WHY will be different. Each one will have a unique purpose, and each one will be part of a unique legacy.
What will you do? Will you set up a competition of some kind? Or help make some industry-wide changes around equal pay? Safer work environments? Fairness in standard practices?
What is important to you? And what do you want to leave behind? It could be a scholarship in your name at your alma mater. It could be an international art festival, it could be a legacy of going into one school every month for years–helping the students to discover their own love of craft. It could be anything.
And while there are as many possibilities as there are people in the world, one thing holds true for them all. Thinking about this today gives you the gift of purpose and intentionality. You will find that you start to spend less time doing things that don’t matter to you, and you’ll waste less time reaching out toward the kind of work that does matter to you. You’ll find yourself working towards your projects with a sense of importance and urgency that propels your momentum, and you’ll be surprised at how much you can accomplish–and how much joy and fulfillment it brings you.
Can you imagine what life would be like if artists around the globe started acting on their ideas, putting their why and their purpose behind them, and getting them out into the world? I’m borderline obsessed with how much good would come from it. In fact, I’ve made it my Why, and my Purpose to help my fellow creatives out there do just that.
An Invitation
If this idea of Legacy Curation resonates with you, then I have something very exciting for you. I want to invite you to join me next week, from Monday, February 5th until Friday, February 9th, for a 5-Day Challenge I’m hosting called “Launch Your Legacy”. It’s totally free, and I promise, it’s not a huge time commitment–your time is precious, after all–! I’m going to pack a lot of useful info into short, easy-to-digest bits, all of which you can take in according to your own schedule.
When you register, you’ll find an email from me waiting in your inbox when you wake up each of the 5 days, with a small task or writing exercise that you can do at any time. Each day’s task will get you one step closer to identifying a project, program or event that aligns with the kind of legacy you want to leave.
I’ll be going live in the TFTL FB group each day at 1pm ET for a little discussion/Q&A about that day’s task and topic. Join us live or watch it when you’re free. The videos will remain up for the week.
By Friday, you’ll have significant clarity around the kind of project you’d like to take on, a plan for how to accomplish it, a clear timeline of how long you’ll need to put it together, confidence in the skills you already have in place to make it happen, and the knowledge of which skills you’re going to need to learn or outsource, and the confidence to pull it all together. So that you can start moving forward with building your artistic legacy.
Again, it’s called Launch Your Legacy, and this 5-Day Challenge is totally free. It begins on Monday, February 5th, and Ends on Friday, February 9th. I do these things periodically for my audience because I believe so strongly that artists truly make the world a better place–not only through their craft but because of the creativity they bring to solving the problems we face.
I sincerely hope you’ll join us, and I cannot wait to meet you!
Register right now (HERE) and recruit your friends and colleagues to join in as well.
Cheers!
Kate
The Perfect Time to Start a New Project
I’m sitting here in my office looking out the window at the rain over the harbour. It’s the kind of day that inspires cups of tea and cozy sweaters–even though it’s technically 71 degrees here in Bermuda–and I just got another DM from a reader about last week’s post about Growth Tasks vs. Maintenance Tasks, I’ve gotten a few of these messages from people who were, in some way or another, feeling stuck in maintenance-mode, but unsure how to make a move out of it.
They all have ideas for projects of some kind. One had a desire to move to a new city, and another one had a brilliant idea about starting a summer workshop series for adults.
They all had a different reason for not getting started, but they all revolved around the question:
When, exactly, is the perfect time to start a new project?
One was “too busy.” With their own freelance work, teaching, and taking care of their kids. One was “too old” to start over, and today’s was “too young” to start such a serious endeavor.
The only situation that was missing was “I have time but don’t know which idea to start with”
And there you have it: The four horsemen of artistic stagnation:
- Too Young
- Too Old
- Too Busy
- Too Confused
But before we dive in, let’s answer one looming question. Is there ever a wrong time to take on a new project or make a big change?
Yes. I think there is, but even then, there are ways around the obstacles. We’ll get to those later on.
Problem #1: You’re too young
Too green. Or maybe you’re just not considered an “expert” in your field. In the arts, especially when we have such a reverence for our great masters like Itzakh Perlman, Pablo Casals, Martha Graham, or Margaret Atwood. We have always revered these legends and looked to people like them to create opportunities for the rest of us. They are the ones who are asked to lead conservatories and dance companies, and be the headliner at a retreat, or masterclass session.
You? You’re just an up-and-comer. You should focus on your career and your craft. Just do the thing you’re trained to do, and wait until you’re old and famous. Then you can start doing other interesting things.
Right?
Well, no. Maybe not.
I remember listening to the now hugely popular podcaster, Cathy Heller from Don’t Keep Your Day Job, back in her early EARLY days. She was talking about how, as a singer-songwriter with moderate success, she decided to create a course on how to write songs. She was full of self-doubt and imposter syndrome and bemoaning the classic “I mean, who am I to teach people how to write songs?” This should be taught by Bob Dylan, Sheryl Crow, or Lady Gaga!”
“Maybe.” her friend replied, “But they aren’t teaching it. You are. And Someone needs to, so it’s a good thing you’re doing it.”
I struggled with similar thoughts of imposter syndrome. Who was I to start a big international cello festival ONLINE in March of 2020? Who was I to gather the most famous cellists in the world and expect them to spend their summer with me and my students? Showing up in my Zoom Room to play scales with us at 8 am?
Surely Juilliard, NEC, and Curtis should be doing it. But they weren’t. I was. And there were a hell of a lot of talented cellists who needed it.
You know who else needed it? Those famous cellists–who needed an opportunity to learn how to teach online, who needed a bit of summer income, who needed and wanted to teach in a summer that had just been canceled on them. And somehow, even when things opened up in 2021, they came back for more.
Who was I? I was the person willing to do it.
So you’re NOT too young. You’re the person who has the idea, and hopefully, you’re the person willing to take it on.
Problem #2: You’re too Old
It’s too late to change. It’ll take too long. People will be confused. People will feel betrayed.
I’ve heard it all!
Seriously, half the population is saying that they are too young and inexperienced to do something, and the other half is saying they are too old and washed up to do something. Which leaves a handful of, what, 37.5 year olds? To do all of the things. That’s just not fair. They’d like to take a vacation too.
Making a big pivot later in life does bring about its own set of mental calisthenics. When you have an established reputation, it can seem like there is more at stake. When life has gotten somewhat comfortable with your usual day-to-day tasks, it can feel like a big lift to change things up in your routine.
Also, when it comes to changing location, there’s the question of leaving behind a community of long-gathered friends and neighbors. The trick here is to focus on what you will gain on the other side. An expanded community, new friends, new colleagues. A new perspective.
But if it’s an idea that has been gnawing at you. Tapping you on the shoulder, again and again, then it’s probably worth taking the leap.
I guarantee, no one else thinks you’re “too old” to do anything. If anything, you’ll garner respect and admiration for having the courage that so many struggle to find in themselves.
When you hear those stories about the 85-year-old who went and finished their college degree. You don’t think “That’s ridiculous! They’re too old for that! What’s the point?”
No.
You’re saying ‘Wow! That’s amazing! Good for them! We should all have such courage and determination.”
Indeed—we should. You should, too.
Problem #3: You’re too busy
Life is full on. You’re in the middle of your PhD, with a baby at home and a performing life to boot. Or maybe you have a thriving freelance career and a stuffed-to-the-gills teaching studio. Maybe all of the above!
Artists tend to be busy people. Taking on new opportunities without the need to shed old ones. I remember when I was living in Boston and was hired to be a cello coach and run the chamber music program at Boston University’s Tanglewood Institute. I already had a position as head cello coach and director of Chamber Music for a big Youth Orchestra Program, and when I told my brother about the new position at Tanglewood, he asked me if I was sad to be leaving the youth orchestra.
Why would I do that? I asked. After all, the two jobs didn’t conflict. The youth orchestra ended in June, just before Tanglewood started, and Tanglewood ended just in time to get to the youth orchestra’s summer camp in Maine. Who needs a vacation?
We pride ourselves on fitting every new opportunity into a giant Jigsaw puzzle and running in circles every chance we get.
So why would I recommend adding even more to that mile-high plate? Because more often than not, that is the only way off the hamster wheel.
Ideally, one would take a good, hard look at what they are doing, and they would kick the low-paying, long-commuting, or generally-not-worth-it items to the curb, leaving copious amounts of time and space to take on the more fulfilling and revenue-generating projects.
If you can do this–even if it means reducing your income or relying on a partner’s income for a while, do it.
Trust me.
Sometimes that’s just not a possibility, but it doesn’t mean you can’t move forward with your ideas.
- They might take longer
- You might need to bring on a collaborating partner
- You might need to do your project on a smaller scale until it gains some traction. Maybe your dream of a live, in-person, week-long retreat starts off as a two-day online workshop.
THEN…
Once you’ve created something–and something that you know you can repeat, you can start letting go of other things, clear some space, and set your life up with proper balance in place.
My mother is a perfect example of this. Miserable in her corporate job with a long commute to downtown Chicago and the boss from hell, she knew she wanted to get into Education. With a Master’s degree, she’d make more than she was making, and her hours would be far better aligned with her family’s needs. But she couldn’t afford to quit working and take classes because my dad had just been laid off and was “figuring things out.”
So she took one credit at a time, in the evenings, and spent her other nights and weekends doing her classwork. Eventually, she got her Master’s and got her dream job in a school nearby that she loved. 2 years of very hard work, but it paid off in spades.
Problem #4: I have loads of time, but don’t know where to start
Let me guess-you have about 5 great ideas and you keep bouncing around between them, unsure which one to start with.
Should you start a festival or a chamber group? Or run a summit? Or a performance series? And that idea you have for a novel isn’t going away, and maybe you should travel around South America taking photographs.
When faced with so much confusion, there’s only one question to ask: What DO you know? That answer will often lead to one small action.
- I know that I want to gather wonderful people together = getting 10 of those people on a Zoom call to brainstorm ideas.
- I know I want to play more chamber music = inviting some friends over to read quartets.
- I know I want to be inspired = attend someone else’s summit
- I know I want to explore new places = take a day trip to someplace new and snap some photos.
Confusion causes paralysis. If we don’t know what to do first, we end up not doing anything at all. And that’s how you find yourself in your PJs at 3:00 in the afternoon binging another Netflix series.
Clarity, however, comes from taking action, so if you can take 1 tiny action based on the answer to that little question “What DO I know?” You’ve just created a bit of momentum for yourself. From there, you’ll either say–no, that’s not it. It wasn’t about going someplace new, it was about taking photographs, and what you really wanted to photograph were…buildings, or you’ll feel that lightbulb moment– “That’s it! This is the right direction!”
Each small, minuscule action you take will better inform the next, and then the next, and then the next, until you’ve finally settled on THE THING. And before you realize you’ve even started, you’ve done it.
I’ve been talking now about how there is no such thing as too young, too old, too busy, or too confused. That any time is a good time to take action, make a change, or start a new project. But there are a few circumstances that might warrant taking a pause.
- The upcoming birth of your child.
- The impending death of a family member.
- War or civil unrest makes in-person events dangerous.
- Coinciding with a major life event, like a wedding, or defending your dissertation.
But other than life, death, war, and weddings, there is no time like the present. You might move quickly, or you might need to take it one slow baby step at a time, but do it!
Flex that courage muscle and take your first action. Because the perfect time? It’s right now.
Cheers,
Kate
P.S. If you enjoyed this blog post and want more insider info on how to thrive as a creative, be sure you get on the list to receive my Friday “Weekend List.” Each one is loaded up with additional tips, tricks, and things to think about, including a new curated list of articles, books, podcasts, and things that I think you’d enjoy. Click Here to Get the Weekend List!
P.P.S. Did you know that Tales from The Lane has a Podcast version out now? You can listen via your favorite podcast app!
How to Start Making Real Progress: Growth Tasks vs. Maintenance Tasks
If you’re reading this at the time of publication, it’s still early (ish) January. As we ride the wave of New Year energy, a lot of people are brainstorming new ideas, creating new projects, and dreaming up all sorts of great things–concert programs, ideas for stage performances, or a new art show to create. Or maybe it’s a book, a recording, podcast, or a career shift.
But like a New Year’s Resolution to hit the gym at 5 am every day, or to start that new diet–you know, the one that is for SURE going to work, most of those new ideas will fall to the wayside by, well, around now. The 2nd Friday in January is known as “Quitter’s Day” as most people give up before they even make it to the middle of the 1st month!
Why do we quit?
We quit either because we’re bored, or because we get what seems like a better idea. Either way, we’re quitting because we’re not making any progress, and we’re not making progress because we’re taking the wrong actions.
What are the wrong answers?
It’s….complicated.
You see, the wrong answers are the same as the right answers, just in different proportions. Let me explain.
In any endeavor, there are two types of tasks. Growth Tasks and Maintenance Tasks. Overdo either one and progress stalls out. Get them in the right balance? BINGO. There’s no stopping you.
Okay, so what the heck are Growth Tasks? Growth Tasks are anything that increases or improves your current situation. Could be revenue (increasing your prices, or enrolling new students/clients) or increasing your reach (writing a book, starting a podcast or blog, creating a new workshop) It could be sending a presentation proposal to a conference, or programming and rounding up new rep for a recital.
Growth Tasks are anything that will CHANGE what or how you are currently doing things.
Maintenance Tasks, on the other hand, involve anything where the only thing that changes is the content within it, it’s a recurring thing that happens regularly. Students you teach every week, the daily practicing of your craft, creating lesson plans for a regular class, recording a new podcast episode.
I would also put “rocking chair” tasks in this bucket. Rocking chair tasks are the things we do that make us FEEL like we’re working hard, but at the end of the day, we’re not any further along than when we started. Like a rocking chair, we’re constantly moving, but we’re not going anywhere. These tasks include: spending an hour deciding which font to use. Spending an entire day making your planner look pretty. Designing a new logo (for days). Scrolling on social media without actually posting anything yourself.
I’ll add this–a lot of times rocking chair tasks can be helpful. Sometimes we need or want a new logo. But as long as we recognize that designing a new logo doesn’t create growth or progress. It’s just a logo, after all. It’s okay.
Growth Tasks generally get all the hype, but trust me, we need those maintenance tasks. I turned my 6-year-old blog into a brand-new podcast–got everything into place, and launched it. That (on the whole) was a Growth Task. Not only has my work grown, but I’ve grown as a person. My skill set has grown, my audience has grown, and therefore, my revenue has grown.
BUT
Now that it’s out there. It’s mostly a matter of maintenance tasks. I need to write a new episode each week. Record it, send it to my wonderful editor (shoutout to Red House Productions, by the way–they are seriously the best!) create show notes, social media graphics, etc.
Every week.
And those are Maintenance tasks because they are repetitive tasks–only the content within them changes.
If I were to reach out to a potential sponsor, or ad agency? That would be a growth task.
One issue I often see artists struggle with–and one of the main reasons people end up coming to me for coaching, is that they get stuck. They wake up one day and realize that they are doing exactly the same thing they’ve been doing for a couple of decades. Same gigs, same students, same schools, same venues, same colleagues, same coffee shop for pre-rehearsal caffeination, same bar for after-work cocktails, same everything.
And while it all felt wonderful and exciting when they were fresh out of school 20 years ago, the patina has worn off a bit. Now, It just feels like a hamster wheel they can’t get off of.
Sometimes it’s because the kids that came along and took up time and attention for 20 years have gone off to college and parents are faced with the fact that while their kids have transformed into adults, they themselves haven’t grown at all.
Sometimes it’s just a glimmer of a thought that hits them as they pull into the parking lot….Jesus, I’m still here? After all these years?
And sometimes, it’s because they see someone ELSE doing something new, and they suddenly think “Maybe I could too?”
It’s easy to get stuck in our routines–especially when we have young kids or aging parents (or both!) to care for. Finding time for Growth can seem like a luxury you can’t afford right now.
But Growth is what keeps us content. Learning new skills releases dopamine, which keeps our brains active, guarding against neurological decline, and NOT learning new skills leads to boredom and ennui–both of which have been shown not only to lead to anxiety and depression but then later develop into heart disease.
Being stuck in a rut not only feels lousy, it can kill you.
So let’s get to some Growth Tasks, shall we?
We’ve seen what happens if you keep yourself solely in Maintenance Task Mode, But here’s the other side of that coin. Without maintenance tasks, you’re just constantly chasing the next idea. And then the next, and the next. you have an idea, get excited about it, and do it once, then you get bored before you even do it a second time, and declare that you have a BETTER idea.
New ideas are amazing, but they need time. They need (and deserve!) a period of maintenance in order to settle in, find their groove, and finally get some traction. That maintenance time also gives you a chance to figure out what works, and what doesn’t, and eventually automate them–which we’ll come back to in a minute.
Think of your new idea like a new student. They call you up and say “Will you work with me?” And you agree. A new student! So much potential! This is going to be awesome!
And they sign up–exciting!
And they make their first payment–VERY Exciting!
And they have their first lesson–Amazing!
And then nothing about it is new anymore. Same student, same day and time, same payment. What if you just ditched them, and tried to get a NEW student? Because a NEW student would be exciting.
You might get away with it the first few times, but eventually, you’re going to get a reputation for being a flake, AND, you’ll never have anything to show for your efforts. No proud teacher moments when your student wins a competition or is offered that coveted scholarship, never getting to the point where you can charge premium rates because you’re the Go-To instructor in your area. No bonds or wedding invitations to your former students’ big life events.
None of it.
The temptation to do nothing but Growth Tasks is also called “shiny-object syndrome” when the new project is what is exciting to you, the creation or the ideation of it, but once it’s done, you don’t have any interest in maintaining it.
I see this a lot with clients who have ADHD or other neuro-divergencies. Their brains are on fire with new ideas all the time–they tend to be incredibly creative. But the day-to-day tedium of maintaining that work can feel hard for them–putting automations and systems in place–or even hiring that part of the process out can be the deciding factor in whether a new project is successful or not.
If you can get yourself to repeat it even a few times, you can set up templates, and write out a workflow, so that the rinse-and-repeat aspect of the work is simplified for you. Or, find someone on Upwork or Fiverr to do it for you. That way, you can focus on the growth part, and know that the maintenance is still happening.
The goal is to have a beautiful balance of both Growth Tasks and Maintenance Tasks.
When you have a balance of the two, there are parts of your week that are dedicated to maintenance: Your practice or rehearsal time, teaching your lessons or classes each week, writing your newsletter, or recording your podcast–whatever those recurring actions are for you.
Other parts of your week are dedicated to growing some aspect of your work–the time you spend updating your LinkedIn profile, creating a new workshop or event, or pitching an idea. Booking a venue for a new show or performance, submitting resumes or applications, taking a course, or masterclass, or showing up to a webinar to learn a new skill.
It creates a beautiful balance that allows you to make real progress towards your goals, and solidify and fine-tune things along the way.
For those of you who are noticing that they hover over on the Maintenance-task side, I want you to remember that Growth doesn’t have to mean getting out of your comfort zone. It CAN, and that’s an important part of your growth as a human being, but in terms of growing the scope of your work, it doesn’t need to be scary.
If you find yourself making excuses for why you can’t do something new, check out my blog post called the “No-Yes Spectrum.” It’ll give you some exercises to see past any fears or anxieties you might have around them. Giving you a “Yes, if…” possibility, instead of a “no, because” default excuse.
If we’re constantly creating and doing Growth tasks, we can quickly burn out from exhaustion. It creates an environment of chaos, and no one around us knows exactly what we’re doing. But if we avoid those Growth-based actions altogether, out of fear, laziness, or lack of momentum, we get stuck. Humans need to grow, and it’s far more enjoyable to do it before you find that your current circumstances suddenly feel like an ill-fitting suit.
Here’s my challenge for you: As you look at any new projects or ideas you’re launching this year, make a list of the parts of them that are growth tasks, and then make a list of the maintenance tasks that will be required to keep them going. Because there is truly no progress without growth, but there’s no growth without continued maintenance either.
Wishing you an amazing year,
Cheers!
Kate
P.S. If you enjoyed this blog post and want more insider info on how to thrive as a creative, be sure you get on the list to receive my Friday “Weekend List.” Each one is loaded up with additional tips, tricks, and things to think about, including a new curated list of articles, books, podcasts, and things that I think you’d enjoy. Click Here to Get the Weekend List!
P.P.S. Did you know that Tales from The Lane has a Podcast version out now? You can listen via your favorite podcast app!
5 Takeaways From My Latest Project
Today is a big day. If you’re reading this in real-time, it’s the beginning of a new year, and my brand new Tales from The Lane Podcast has officially dropped into the world. If you’re a loyal and avid reader of blogs and have no interest in podcasts, fear not–This blog version of TFTL isn’t going anywhere.
The 3 Episodes that dropped this morning are based on three of my past blog posts:
Episode 1. Why You Need to Do Quarterly Retreats
Episode 2: The 3 Myths Holding You Back From Your Dream Career
Episode 3: Turning Your Journaling Dreams into a Successful Reality
Starting next week, the podcast episode and the blog posts will be in alignment. You can choose your favorite way of taking in your TFTL content–or check out both! The podcasts will be a bit more behind-the-scenes/in-depth than the blog posts.
As far as the iTunes podcast library is concerned, my new little podcast is decidedly NOT a big deal.
But it’s a very big deal to me.
Without putting too much pressure on it, it represents A LOT OF THINGS.
#1 It signifies that I’m ready for big-time growth.
When I started down this entrepreneurial path, my audience was primarily made up of my colleagues from the Boston music freelance world. Then it expanded to musicians all over. Then it expanded to artists of all kinds from all over. But blogs are pretty niche and hard to find, and they are, for some strange reason, even harder to share.
Podcasts though? Everyone listens to podcasts, and everyone is always looking for new podcasts to add to their library. It’s the one form of content that you can consume while multitasking. It’s hard to watch a YouTube video while you’re cooking, and it’s really not recommended to read blog posts while driving.
I’m excited to welcome new names to my list and learn new stories, and I’m ready to grow both my reach and the skillsets needed to match that larger reach.
#2: It represents me getting WAY out of my comfort zone.
Friends have been suggesting I start a podcast for a while now, but there was no way that was EVER going to happen.
Famous last words!
But when I sat there and questioned it, I realized that what was holding me back was that I was quite content and comfortable writing my weekly blog posts, uploading them to my WordPress site with some photos, and writing a few social media posts to announce them to my lovely little inner-circle of friends and readers.
I also realized that the reason I am a writer is that I am slightly uncomfortable talking out loud. Not to friends or clients, and not in a big, loud social setting, but a) growing up, I had to have years of speech therapy, and to be honest? I don’t remember there ever being a moment where they said “Great! She’s cured! She can now say her “R”s! Hooray!” It just kind of faded away. I got busy? Or maybe my next school didn’t offer it? And when I hear myself speaking in those podcast recordings, you’d better believe I hear (and cringe at) every single one. I mean…
Tales from The Lane (fine). WheRe do CReatives ThRive? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHAT WAS I THINKING?
And b) I was a latch-key kid. Meaning, I came home from school to an empty house, let myself in with the key under the mat, and hung out by myself until my parents came home around 5:30 or so. After dinner? It was back to my bedroom to practice, do homework, or just be alone with my thoughts. This is when I started writing a journal. It was someone (thing?) to talk to. So in a way, it has always felt more comfortable for me to write about things than to talk about them.
So the fact that I now talk out loud, with all of my cringy “R’s”, into a microphone, in a quiet room, and release that recording out to the whole world of Apple, Spotify, and wherever else you listen to podcasts, for anyone in the world to listen to?
Definitely out of my Comfort Zone.
Not to mention the little things: A platform? A host? An RSS feed? Editing? Liscense-Free music? I had no clue.
My friend Renée, who has been podcasting for 6 years now, assured me I had everything I needed. But I knew I was still lacking a lot of information. Which leads me to…
#3: It represents new skills and more evidence that “I Can Figure it Out When I Need To.”
Some of it took no time at all. Some of it took paying for a short course that would walk me through it. Some of it took Renée sending me loom videos (Bless Her!) showing me how she sets things up. Some of it came down to my hiring out (I felt no need to learn how to edit things when I could pay someone to do it brilliantly from day one)
But I took it one step at a time, and I figured out each piece until it showed up, all approved and shiny on the Apple app last Friday.
During my Q1 Retreat last week, I figured out a few other pieces. Systems I could put in place that would simplify and somewhat automate the weekly process. Templates, and SOP’s (Standard Operating Procedures) all went into my Trello board, ready to be implemented week after week, keeping it from becoming a huge lift every week.
Because I’d rather put my time and energy into creating great content for you than into a social media graphic.
Something that comes up in a lot of coaching sessions with clients is a fear that something might go wrong in the middle of a workshop, launch, talk, etc. The hard truth is that things can ALWAYS go wrong. Sometimes it’s something that was out of your control. Sometimes it’s something that you overlooked. But what comes into play is the confidence that you will be able to FIGURE IT OUT. That confidence comes from any past experience you’ve had Figuring Something Out –whether on the fly or, like my podcast, simply when I needed to.
#4: It represents public vulnerability
“Done is better than Perfect.” Is a phrase rarely uttered in the arts world. No teacher in the classical music space is ever going to shrug their shoulders and say “meh! Just go out there and play–even if it’s not so good.”
That may very well be what ends up happening for every one of us, every time, but the culture is one of “You stay up all night and practice until your fingers bleed to make it as perfect as you possibly can.”
But I had so much resistance to recording these first episodes (by the 3rd one it did feel much easier!) and it was all so new, that I knew that if I wanted to make it perfect, it wouldn’t come out. I’d just keep re-recording everything over and over and over again until I felt utterly depleted and gave up.
I had to learn to be okay with putting something out that wasn’t perfect. I had to be confident in my knowledge that every single episode would get better. As I get more comfortable, and as I gain more experience doing it, I’ll figure out all of the nuances that I’d never know the first time around. I had to trust that my listeners know that too.
#5: It represents the next chapter in my life.
I stopped teaching at the end of last June–6 months ago–just in time for my mom to make the first of what would come to be many trips to the ER. The next 6 months would mean that any spare time I had between clients and writing would be devoted to her end-of-life care. There was no time for new projects. It wasn’t a moment for growth. It was a moment for family. For her. And that was good and right and important to me.
But with her passing, comes both a strange adjustment to a life without her in it and a sense of freedom and lightness. Suddenly I am noticing the large bits of white space in my week that teaching had filled up for 30 years. And suddenly, I feel like I can dedicate that time to new projects. I can launch the podcast, I can move forward with the book, and I can get back to the creative page myself.
This new chapter is about streamlining my focus while expanding my creative output. The blog, the podcast, the book, my coaching, my speaking, my courses. They are all outshoots of one bucket: Helping people create their most fulfilling and authentically aligned lives. This is truly my most authentically aligned and fulfilling life, and the creation and execution of it is something I am extremely proud of. It’s also something that I never want to take for granted.
So whether you rush off this site and tune into the TFTL podcast or not, I hope you will get something useful from these 5 Takeaways. I hope that this week, you’ll look for opportunities for you to:
- Seek growth
- Get out of your comfort zone
- Learn new skills
- Allow yourself to be publicly imperfect
- Appreciate the chapter you’re in and what it means for you.
Cheers,
Kate
Navigating the Freelance Rollercoaster: 5 Hacks for Financial Stability in the Arts
If you’re reading this post in real-time, we are at the height of the Holiday Gig Season, which means that if you are a freelancer, you are busy. VERY BUSY. Whether you are a musician racing from a nutcracker pit to a holiday pops show, a dance teacher getting those year-end dance recitals off the ground, a writer finishing up those “Best of” lists, or a graphic designer finishing up your clients’ projects before they head off on their vacation, you’re probably working a ton. You’re tired, sure, but it sure is a lucrative time of year.
Come January, the accounts will be looking pretty flush with cash, and you’ll be feeling on top of the world.
And then you hit a super slow month. Ugh.
Dealing with the ups and downs of a freelance career in the arts can be tricky. If one isn’t careful, a dry spell can catch you off guard and feel awful. But if done right, you can reap all of the benefits of the freelance life, without the financial stress.
Freelancing, especially in a creative field, can be an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling way of carving out a career. The variation in your days, weeks, and months brings a constant freshness. Work never gets stale, and there’s always the possibility of an exciting new venture right around the corner. But it can also bring some not-so-thrilling ups and downs.
- Ups and downs in the amount of work you’re doing
- Ups and downs in the amount of money you’re making
- Ups and downs in your levels of self-confidence.
I get it. I’ve been there.
Those ups feel amazing. You get called to do the tour of your dreams, or you get nominated for a huge award, You win the audition. The fat paycheck shows up in your account. Finally, you think, your hard work has paid off. You’re on a roll now…and you start calculating how much you’ll make per month now at this new rate, and before you know it, it all dries up.
Bring on the downs. The blues. The doldrums. The feelings of confusion, inadequacy, crippling self-doubt.
It’s hard to remember, in those moments, that you’ve been here before. That there’s another upward swing coming your way. In those low moments, it just feels awful and never-ending. So, how does one stand battle against these career swings? I’ve got 5 Helpful Hacks for you right here:
1. Remember Adulthood isn’t Linear
I talk a lot about how as artists, it can be difficult to separate the artistic experiences we had growing up from the professional world, and that’s true here as well. As kids, you took one level, then graduated to the next, more advanced level. Whether it was a dance class, an acting camp, or a Suzuki book. The path was clear, and if you worked hard, it always led upward.
That’s not the case in the professional world, and it can be more helpful to look at a year or two at a time than this month compared to last. Are you generally doing better work now than you were 2 years ago? Is your network stronger? What evidence can you see that you’re making progress toward your overall goals? Make a list–keep it where you can see it regularly.
2. Glorify Being Average
The hardest part of the ups and downs is its financial impact on us. You have a couple of flush months, so you get used to having and spending more money. Then you keep up those habits even if you have a less-than-stellar month, because that was just a fluke, right? Next thing you know, you can’t make your next credit card payment. The key is to average it all out, budget according to your minimum viable income (the bare minimum you need to keep the lights on each month), and have a plan for anything extra that comes along. More on this below…
3. Plan Quarterly
I plan things about a year in advance (thus my year on the wall setup) but I do a deep dive at the beginning of each quarter, to really asses where I am, how things are going, and what needs to happen. If you were to look at the next 3 months, what would you see? Is there a month in there where you always have extra work? (Like December or June?) or is there a sparse month in there? Will you make enough over those three months to cover your bills? Who can you contact now to generate a bit more income in the next 12 weeks? Is there an opportunity to give a talk, masterclass, or art show? Will you need to pay taxes? Any big birthdays or holidays that require spending money on gifts?
4. Have a “Back Pocket Plan”
As a kid, I was often caught off-guard when family friends came over to the house and inevitably asked me to play something for them. It seems I was always in the middle of learning a new piece–which wasn’t fit for public consumption yet, and/or it had been so long since I played the last piece, that I didn’t dare pull that out either. Eventually, I learned to always have a couple of pieces “in my back pocket” I’d keep them in my practice rotation, and then always had something ready to play at a moment’s notice. It came in handy on many occasions.
Likewise, you can have a “back pocket” income booster for those lean months. Host a special performance class for your students, have a recital program ready to do anywhere, or write an ebook on an area of your expertise that you can sell for $20 a pop. Heck, even putting a room up on Airbnb or offering to do some extra work at a local non-profit can bring in enough extra cash to cover the lull. Always have a clear answer to the question: “If I needed to come up with $5000 quickly to cover an emergency, what would I do?”
5. Be Proactive in Making the Next Months Better
Slower periods are inevitable in ANY professional life. Now that you’ve gotten the financial side of those times covered, Take full advantage of the extra time and space to plan ahead. Think of this as an incubation period for your next big moment.
Here’s how: Think about where you are now in your career, and then think about what the next step up looks like for you. Write down the following:
- What do you need to know that you don’t know right now?
- Who do you need to know that you don’t know now?
- How do you need to show up at that next level?
Example: You want to start judging competitions: Maybe you need to know how to judge competitions. Maybe you need to know the artistic directors of some big competitions, and maybe you need to start carrying yourself like you’re confident in your abilities to judge competitions. Give yourself the next month to start putting those answers in place. Research, Learn. Network, and do a bit of Self-Reflection.
In the ever-changing landscape of freelance work, where success is often measured in peaks and valleys, it’s crucial to equip yourself with strategies that transform the downs into opportunities for growth. Remember, the journey is not linear, and each ebb and flow contributes to your overall progress. By knowing your average monthly revenue, focusing on a quarter at a time, having a back-pocket income plan, and proactively preparing for the future during slower periods, you can not only survive but thrive in the dynamic world of freelancing. Embrace the challenges, celebrate the victories, and let every twist and turn sculpt a financially resilient and artistically fulfilling freelance career.
Cheers,
Kate
P.S. Are you on The List yet? If you enjoyed this blog post and want more insider info on how to thrive as a creative, be sure you get on the list to receive my Friday “Weekend List.” Each one is loaded up with additional tips, tricks, and things to think about, including a new curated list of articles, books, podcasts, and things that I think you’d enjoy. Click Here to Get the Weekend List!
Swedish Death Cleaning: Simplifying Life and Career
In the midst of life’s complexities, where possessions accumulate like whispers of memories, there exists a transformative concept known as Swedish Death Cleaning—a notion that transcends the mundane act of tidying up and extends into a profound philosophy of intentional living.
As I navigated the task of clearing out my mother’s apartment, the essence of Swedish Death Cleaning unfolded, revealing not only a method of simplifying possessions but also a profound approach to streamlining life and career. This experience sparked a revelation—a call to embrace a Librarian’s mindset, curating our professional paths with the same deliberate intentionality as one carefully selects books for a cherished shelf. Join me on a journey where Swedish Death Cleaning meets the art of career curation, and where the question becomes not just “What do I own?” but rather “What do I want to leave behind?”
When we moved Mom permanently onto the skilled nursing floor and started hospice a few weeks ago, my brother and I had 30 days to move her out of her apartment. Thankfully, this wasn’t that storied experience of trying to clear out the family home that had been lived in for 60+ years.
I would have cried “Uncle” and fled as quickly as possible.
My parents downsized from the large, 4+ bedroom house I grew up in to a modest 2- 2-bedroom ranch once they were empty-nesters, and then after my father passed away in 2012, my mom moved into a 1-bedroom condo in a CCRC (continuing care retirement community.) With both moves, came a lot of shedding of belongings.
Mom wasn’t a big shopper. She wasn’t materialistic, and had very little jewelry. She was the kind of woman who owned one black coach handbag and used it every day–no matter what the occasion was.
So why did she have SO MUCH STUFF?
Because we all do. Life requires it. Unless you’re a die-hard minimalist (and have you ever met a die-hard minimalist who didn’t have a stack of bins stored at their parent’s house?) you’re going to have a certain amount of stuff related to how you live your life. Compared to most people though, she didn’t have that much, and what she had was very much on purpose.
(except for the entire cupboard filled with random florist vases—why do we ALL have those?)
I was grateful for 2 things:
1. Döstädning or, Swedish Death Cleaning.
2. My mother was a librarian
Swedish Death Cleaning is about going through your belongings once you’re past middle age, but before you’re anywhere near “the end”, and deciding what is important to keep, and what isn’t. You start to ask the question: “If I died tomorrow, what would people do with this stuff?”
Cleaning out my mom’s place over the last few weeks was a masterclass in living with purpose. She had downsized twice already, and her belongings truly reflected her priorities. Her belongings fell into 2 distinct categories:
- The things she used regularly
- The things she wanted to pass down to us.
The clothes she had were pretty basic. Long-sleeved T-shirts (in every color) Basic knit turtleneck sweaters (also in every color) and black and khaki trousers. There was nothing to keep. Nothing fancy, nothing of any particular quality. Nothing that needed to be passed down.
But her other closet was filled to the brim with craft supplies. She was constantly crafting–making blankets, quilts, scrapbooks–you name it–for the people she loved, and until 5 months ago, she might have used any of it at any time. She also made a scrapbook for every year. Every vacation. EVERY. THING.
Her greatest gift to us was digitizing every photo so we wouldn’t need to house her wall of scrapbooks.
Her tiny kitchen was stuffed full of bakeware and serving pieces, and handmade placemats and napkins because her 2nd love was entertaining. She was the one who hosted all of the big family holidays, and she loved to make an event out of the smallest thing. Even a simple lunch required a thoughtful table setting. She was the resident who would host wine and cheese welcome parties whenever someone new moved onto her floor.
But there was one thing she loved more than entertaining and crafting: Books. She was a voracious reader, and yet she only had about 15 books in her entire apartment. She was a librarian, you see, and she thought that libraries were the most amazing places on earth. You could go there and pick out, reserve, or order ANY BOOK THAT HAD EVER BEEN WRITTEN and you didn’t even have to pay for it. You also didn’t have to store them in your house. The 15 on her shelf were books written by close friends, or favorite, well-worn children’s books that she had read to her children and grandchildren. Those 15 books contained so much more than just words on a page to her.
Mom passed away last week, leaving my brother and me as the new keepers of the family heirlooms. For him, living 1 mile away, it’s simply a matter of putting things into his car and driving them over to his own large 4-bedroom house with ample storage. He also has 2 sons that he knows he will pass things down to.
For me, it’s a bit more complicated. Whatever I save will need to be worth the costs of both shipping it overseas and paying customs duty on it. And other than a few things I’ll leave to my god-daughter, or our nieces and nephews, as child-free people, the buck stops with us. It makes you think twice about what you accumulate.
I took the beautiful silver platters passed down from grandma that graced every holiday meal (but not the super cute ones she bought at Crate & Barrel a few years ago)
The gold half-hoop earrings she had made out of her and my dad’s wedding rings after he died (but not the silver half-hoops she picked up at some department store)
Keep only the things you can’t find anywhere else.
Through the process, I felt a lightness. I felt the urge to pare everything down, maybe not all the way down to the minimalistic “essentials” but to at least narrow it down to “the important.”
And then it occurred to me that we can (and maybe should?) also be doing this with our careers.
I loved being a cellist, and I loved teaching, and I loved coaching, and I loved writing. But doing all 3 at once was becoming unsustainable for me. When I made the decision to streamline my activities, I felt so much better. There was less chaos, fewer scheduling conflicts, and more time to dive deep into the few things I had chosen to keep. What if we all chose to do only the work that feels important and personally fulfilling, and ditch the rest?
What if the work that you do is the perfect representation of who you are and what you’re about as a person?
What if we kept only what we couldn’t find elsewhere? Leaned into our expertise and passion and let others do the rest?
It has resulted in my buying a handful of courses and trainings that I felt very strongly about, and it has given me the time and space to fully implement those ideas. It has kept me from allowing things to get overly complicated.
The question “Can I get this from the Library?” has come in handy more times than I can count. Which for me translates to:
“Do I need to buy that sheet music, or is it on IMSLP?”
“Do I need this trendy new CRM software, or does what I currently have already do it?”
“Do I need to learn how to edit a podcast, or can I outsource that?”
“Is this a book I want to have and keep to refer back to, or something I can just listen to once as an audiobook?”
“Shiny Object” enticement is real–both when it comes to accumulating objects and when it comes to adding things to our careers––one more gig, one more teaching post, one more collaboration.
As I reflect on this journey of Swedish Death Cleaning and the deliberate choices it inspired in both my life and career, I am reminded that the true measure of our existence lies not in the abundance of possessions or accolades but in the impact we make and the meaningful connections we forge.
Embracing the mindset of a librarian—curating our lives and careers with intentionality—can lead us to a harmonious balance between the things we cherish daily and those we wish to pass on as our legacy. So, let’s keep only what truly matters, lean into our expertise and passion, and, in doing so, shape careers that are not just fulfilling for us but leave a lasting imprint for generations to come. Here’s to a life well-lived and a career that resonates with purpose.
Cheers,
Kate
Starting Without a Destination: Finding Clarity in Uncertainty
I was 26 years old when I bought my first condo in Boston. I was single, and I had never lived anywhere long enough to decorate it in any serious way. My previous roommate, Sandy (Hi Sandy!) had inherited her grandmother’s furniture when we were renting our first place together, so although that place did feel like actual adults lived there, it had nothing to do with me. Sadly, the furniture was going with her to Ohio, and I had to figure out how to decorate 7 different rooms.
Add to that, the 2 months between when I had to move out of my old apartment, and when I closed on my condo. I was couch surfing. Gigging, teaching, working 24/7, having to navigate the lovely world of real estate on my own, feeling very house-poor, and very furnitureless. It was all totally overwhelming.
I had no idea what my style was, where to buy things, or what I wanted my place to look like. I had no idea where to start.
But then I found a lamp on the side of the road.
It had a blown glass base that was striped with orange, white, and light gray. I didn’t know if it even worked, but it was perfect. It lived in the backseat of my car for those 2 months of limbo and it was one of the few things I moved into my place after I closed.
From the lamp, came a color scheme that I was drawn to, and before I knew it, my living room walls were painted Benjamin Moore’s Tangelo Orange, and I had found the most gorgeous and comfortable gray velvet sofa, light wooden bookshelves and the requisite white Ikea chairs that ever 20-something needed to own in 2002.
Bit by bit, it all came together in a cohesive design. Bit by bit it not only became home, but it became the most perfect expression of ME.
It started with a lamp.
Fast forward over 20 years–In my work as a mindset and career coach for creatives, I speak with a lot of people who are feeling that sense of blurry overwhelm–in their lives and in their careers. They know they want more, they just don’t quite have the clarity they want around what it is they want, exactly.
They’ve outgrown their current shell, but haven’t found a new one yet, and that is leaving feeling raw, vulnerable, and scared. Much like I felt in those 2 months of limbo–driving around with a lamp and a cat in the back seat of my Honda Accord.
For my clients who know exactly what Point B is, it’s relatively easy for us to create a roadmap and figure out which steps to take to get them there. But not everyone is starting out with that clarity. Not everyone is able to articulate exactly where they want to be headed.
They just know it’s not “here.”
So what is a person, bursting out of their creative shell, supposed to do in the meantime?
Start.
I know what you’re thinking. “How am I supposed to start, when I don’t know what I’m starting?”
It starts with one simple question. What DO you know?
(I knew I liked that lamp)
It can be a tiny part of the puzzle. It can be:
“I know I want to be home more on the weekends.” Great. Start by saying no to one crappy weekend gig that comes up and spend that time doing something you enjoy with the people you love. Start with just part of one weekend day.
It can be “I’ve always been curious about photography.” Great. Take a photo. Then maybe take another one.
Or, “I know that if I have to teach one more beginner, I’m going to scream” Okay. Start by nurturing your older students more. Create one interesting opportunity just for them. (My cello teacher would buy a block of tickets for a Chicago Symphony concert whenever a cello concerto was on the program, and sell them to us and our parents. It was so fun to all go and sit together!)
Or, ”I know I want to make art. I’m not clear on what kind, or where I would show it, or what who I might collaborate with on it” Great. Just wake up tomorrow and make some art.
Whatever small piece you DO know. Start with that.
But here’s where things can feel complicated:
“I have too many ideas–and I don’t know which one to start first!” (sound familiar?)
I have a few clients who came to me in this state. It can bring up so much confusion, a sense of discombobulation, identity crises—all of it.
What has worked for each and every one of them?
Just starting. Each one. Whenever there was an opportunity.
It will all feel totally disjointed at first. You as a performing artist. You as a pedagogue. You as a thought leader. You as a community anchor. It will seem like four different projects. Four different lives. Four distinct parts of you.
Until they slowly start to come together.
Until you are known as a community anchor for your thought leadership as a brilliant performer and pedagogue.
All rolled into one.
And that’s the moment you’ll have clarity. It will all make so much sense to you (and everyone around you, too) and with this 20/20 hindsight, you will see that every uncertain step you took. Every unclear and blurry start was a step towards this whole.
And as one of my clients said in a voice message the other day “It just feels like everything we’ve done has been part of this master plan to get me to exactly where I was meant to be.”
I don’t know about a grand master plan. That’s between you and whatever level of spirituality you live with. But I do know that in a world with so many possibilities, so many options on the table, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by what we don’t know.”
We don’t know if it’s the right thing.
We don’t know if it’ll work.
We don’t know if we’ll like it.
We don’t know if other people will like it.
We don’t know what it will lead to, or even what we want it to lead to.
So let’s take those unknowns off the table. They were never going to give you answers anyway.
What DO you know?
Start with that. Trust that the rest will unfold from there.
Cheers,
Kate
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P.P.S. I’d love to write exactly the kind of content you are looking for! You can help me do that by filling out this (very) short survey. It’s 100% anonymous, and I’d be eternally grateful.
Maximizing Your Day: How to Achieve Remarkable Results in Limited Time
This morning I did a podcast interview with a woman who lives in Jerusalem. If you’re reading this blog post in real-time (November of 2023) There is a war going on there. Life is not pretty. And yet this mother of 7.5 is there, raising her family, recording her podcasts, coaching her clients, and running her business.
I did the interview from my new home-away-from-home, my brother’s guest room in Chicago. Mom isn’t doing well, so I flew here to see her and help manage things while my brother isolates with Covid. We’re in the middle of our rehearsals and preparations for the Fall Bermuda Philharmonic concerts happening in 2 weeks, and I’ve got some book deadlines I’m trying to meet.
There are moments in life when we can and should take a hiatus. Taking time off, sabbaticals, and taking care of ourselves is an absolute necessity. An exhausted and burnt-out person is not helping anyone.
But what about those gray areas? Somewhere between that blissful groove of routine and total. firehose, there are many (MANY) moments in life that are just “very full on” but not quite max capacity. When we look at our to-do list and want to hide under a rock, but deep down, we know it’s temporary, and more importantly, we know it’s completely doable.
The only question is….when? When do I write the blog post, check in with that friend, upload the video, and do the grocery shopping?
I could say a few things here:
Hire a VA!
Enlist your partner and kids to help!
Scratch off what isn’t absolutely essential!
Yes to all of that. But we’re all adults here, and let’s be real. Sometimes “hire a VA” is just one more thing to add to the list. And even when we have a VA, I can’t exactly ask her to call my mother’s oncologist for me. Chances are, either you don’t have a partner and kids, or they are already helping. And hello, if it wasn’t absolutely necessary, we wouldn’t be talking about it right now.
So this is for those times when you just need to get a lot of shit done, and you don’t have a lot of wide open spaces in your day.
In other words, how to get an extraordinary amount of work done in very little time.
There might be a lot of those very little bits of time. They will probably add up to a lot of time. But if you wait until you have an extraordinary amount of time all at once, you will get very little done.
You can do this. I promise. It’s all in 3 easy steps.
1. Identify the Tiny Tasks
I don’t know about you, but my to-do list often has tiny little random things that need to be done.
- “Email the donor to confirm the date and time of the fundraiser he’s hosting”
- “book Dr.’s appointment”
- “print out form to sign and scan back”
Anything that won’t take more than a couple of minutes goes on a list that I keep near me (can be on a notes app, or on a post-it stuck to your computer.) Whenever I’m waiting for a Zoom meeting to start, or when one ends a couple of minutes earlier than expected, I look at that list and do one of them. I never fail to cross off all of those lists in one day. We all have those little cracks of times when it seems like there’s not enough time to get something done.
Trust me. There is.
2. Get Comfortable With the Unfinished Task
You might have several things on your plate that require multiple hours to complete, and the danger in these situations is waiting for those hours to appear in your life. For instance (and quite a Meta one, too) I usually keep Sundays pretty clear, and I spend a part of every Sunday afternoon sitting in my sunroom with a cat curled up next to me, writing Monday’s blog post.
I have now gotten about 2/3 of the way through this post. It has been done in about 4 10-minute increments. I’m in Chicago. I started it on the plane, and then I did another part of it this morning before I had to start my podcast interview, and then I did a bit more in my mom’s room while she slept, and now, after giving her some soup and getting her re-settled, but before my brother arrives, I might just finish it. (Editor’s note: I did not. I got interrupted, so I left it, and came back to finish it while I was waiting for dinner.)
It’s okay. Blog posts don’t need to be written all at once, it’s just that that’s my routine. For a while, if I didn’t have that lazy Sunday afternoon free, you wouldn’t see a blog post. Silly Kate.
3. Just Do the Thing You Don’t Want to Do.
We all resist it. It’s so much easier to ease into our days doing the things that are easy, and simple. The things that we know will go well. But trust me. We spend more time thinking about and dreading those hard, unpleasant tasks than it actually takes to do them. So if you count all of the mental time and energy it takes to complete a task, you’re wasting SO MUCH TIME on these.
How do I get around the resistance? I have a reward in mind for when I finish it. Knowing that I will waste at least 20 minutes of mental time worrying about the fact that I need to do this unpleasant task, I tell myself that if I just do it (thus, saving myself the 20 minutes of mental gymnastics) I can relax and watch a 20-minute YouTube video of my choice. Or listen to a podcast. Or sit on my veranda and drink a coffee and not do anything productive for 20 minutes.
If the choice is spending 20 minutes stressing about something annoying or 20 minutes relaxing, it’s easier to get going. Bonus: You might find that you have more time to get some of those medium-length items taken care of as well.
In the midst of life’s chaos and busy moments, finding ways to get a remarkable amount of work done in very little time is a valuable skill. Whether you’re juggling family responsibilities, a demanding schedule, or unexpected challenges, these three simple steps can help you make the most of those precious pockets of time. By identifying the tiny tasks, embracing the idea of unfinished work, and tackling the things you’d rather put off, you can accomplish more than you might think.
So, the next time your to-do list seems daunting, remember these strategies and make the most of every available moment to achieve your goals. With determination and a bit of creativity, you can turn chaos into productivity.
Cheers,
Kate
P.S. Want more content like this? Sign up to get my weekly newsletter, The Weekend List—small tidbits of goodness, along with a curated list of interesting articles, books I love, and discounts and early access to some great programs and events!
P.P.S. I’d love to write exactly the kind of content you are looking for! You can help me do that by filling out this (very) short survey. It’s 100% anonymous, and I’d be eternally grateful.
Taking the Leap: Your Guide to Success in Life and Career
I shared a quote in my IG stories the other day, and I have NEVER gotten so many responses so quickly. Here’s what it said (from @lawofambition)
“Your success in life is directly proportional to the number of times you say: ‘Fuck it, I’ll figure it out.”
Suddenly my inbox was filled with hearts and comments like “Oh man, I needed that!” or “Whew! Just in time, Kate!” and my favorite: “Um, are you IN MY BRAIN?”
The quote, while not mine, does pretty much sum up my career and mindset coaching work. You see, while we can plan and strategize and build and implement runways all day long, at some point, you need to take a leap of faith and jump into a new pool.
That Leap of Faith could be sending out an email that your professional colleagues might see that announces a project you’ve always dreamt of doing. (What will they THINK??) Or it could be giving notice at a job, and embarking on a whole new endeavor. Either way, Leaps of Faith are always necessary. You can’t get very far in life without them.
Even if you’ve done all of the responsible foundational work like making a plan, strategizing your steps and sequences, and building yourself a bit of a runway, at some point you’ll find yourself at a precipice that lies between old life and new, and you probably won’t be thrilled about having to jump across it.
Understanding the Fear Behind It
Now, let’s dive (pun intended) a bit deeper into that moment of taking a Leap of Faith. The truth is, it’s often accompanied by fear, doubt, and uncertainty. That’s completely normal. It’s like standing at the edge of a diving board, looking down at the deep water below, and wondering if you’ll make it. The key to overcoming this fear is understanding where it comes from.
Fear can be driven by various factors – the fear of failure, the fear of judgment from others, or even the fear of leaving your comfort zone. Recognizing these fears and acknowledging them is the first step in conquering them. Remember that fear is a natural response to change and the unknown, but it doesn’t have to paralyze you.
Worst Case Scenario
One powerful technique to address your fears is to imagine the worst-case scenario. What’s the absolute worst that could happen if you take that Leap of Faith? While this may sound counterintuitive, it can actually be quite liberating. By identifying the worst-case outcome, you’ll often realize that it’s not as catastrophic as your imagination might have painted it.
Triage Plan
Now that you’ve considered the worst-case scenario and found it manageable, it’s time to create a triage plan. Think about what steps you can take to mitigate those worst-case outcomes. By having a plan in place, you’ll feel more in control and less fearful. This plan can include contingencies and backup options, so you’re prepared for any unexpected challenges that might arise.
Support Network
No one takes a Leap of Faith alone. Your support network plays a crucial role in providing the encouragement and strength you need during your journey. Surround yourself with people who believe in you, and don’t hesitate to lean on them when doubt creeps in. Sometimes, a simple pep talk from a friend or a mentor can make all the difference.
As the quote suggests, your success in life is directly proportional to the number of times you say, “F-it, I’ll figure it out.” But don’t forget the steps that lead to that moment. Planning, strategizing, and building a runway are essential, but it’s the Leap of Faith that truly propels you forward. Understand your fears, prepare for the worst, and rely on your support network, and you’ll find that the journey becomes an exhilarating adventure rather than a daunting task.
So, when the opportunity presents itself, take that Leap of Faith. Trust in yourself and your abilities, and remember that the unknown is where growth and success often reside. The future is yours to shape, and the only way to do that is by boldly stepping into the unknown and saying, “I’ll figure it out.” Your journey is waiting, and it’s time to make it extraordinary.
Cheers,
Kate
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