Tales From The Lane

I was in a discussion yesterday with a very wise woman, who mentioned that perhaps the most important thing (and she really did mean The Most Important Thing) was to feel relaxed. 

Immediately, I thought of how musicians tend to feel right before we begin a performance, or actors when they are about to walk on stage, or writers just as they are about to hit “publish”. As we take those steps towards our most important work, we feel a lot of things. However, I’m not sure Relaxed is the right word.

But maybe it should be. Here are 4 reasons why: 

1. When we’re relaxed, we are free of fear, stress, shame, and tension. 

To me, when I am feeling relaxed, it means there is an absence of those 4 horsemen above. I am doing my thing, in the flow, in the zone. I feel at ease. When I’m about to perform, the last thing I want to feel is fear of not playing well, the stress of too many long practice days, the shame of not feeling prepared, and just forget about tension–that’s a recipe for disaster. 

2. When we’re relaxed, we feel that all is as it should be. 

When I am sitting in my sunroom with a fresh cup of coffee and a book, feeling relaxed, it’s because I know my work is done, things are taken care of, and there’s nothing else I need to be doing. All is as it should be. Wouldn’t that be a great place to walk out on stage from? That all is as it should be? 

3. When we’re relaxed, we are able to find our flow, and enter the zone. 

On a beautiful warm, sunny day, I could spend hours in the garden. And if I have a clear day on the calendar, I can practice, write, or read without noticing the time passing. When we are in a relaxed state, we are free of distracting thoughts and concerns, and we can work uninterrupted. There is nothing blocking us from getting into the zone. Which is ideally where we want to be when we’re performing. 

4. When we’re relaxed, we do our best work.

We can think more clearly, react faster, and make better decisions. And so, while I always considered that bolt of adrenaline to be a key factor in any good performance, maybe that’s just a bonus. Maybe the real key, the Most Important Thing is to get oneself into that Relaxed State. Free of fear, shame, tension, and stress. Knowing that the work is done, all is as it should be, and we are free to get focused and enter the zone. 

And if it’s true that we all universally function better in a relaxed state, how can we create an environment that lends itself to others getting into that relaxed state as well? 

How can we welcome our students into their lessons in a way that better allows them to leave those 4 horsemen at the door? How can I ensure that my coaching clients are able to find that sense of safety and clarity in their sessions with me? 

And in what ways could we do more to create or sustain such an environment of relaxed community for our colleagues, our family, and anyone we interact with?

Food for thought on this gloomy Monday. I would really love to hear your ideas about this. Leave a comment or shoot me an email.

Cheers, 

Kate

Sign up for “The Weekend List”–my weekly newsletter that hits your inbox each Friday with my curated list of things to read, try, ponder, or check out. All geared to help musicians and creatives live their best lives. 

There are a lot of folks out there peddling “Productivity Hacks” or “How to be more productive” “Get More Done in Less Time!” and for the most part, I ignore them. I do a lot, and I think I work pretty well. If I use someone’s hacks to work faster, I’ll just end up working more, and eventually, I’ll be working too much, and I’ll burn out. No one wants that. 

But here is something that I DO commit myself to doing every so often. The point of it isn’t to be a productivity hack per se, but it’s the best way I know to get amazing, focused work done without feeling exhausted at the end of it. In fact, I usually end up feeling more refreshed than I have in a while. 

Consider it 1-Part Productivity Hack, 1-Part Meditation Retreat. 

Have you ever read or done The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron? I first came across this gem of a book when I was in my mid-20’s, and I still take it out and go through the 12-week process of journaling and exercises every few years as a sort of “alignment check-in”. I have found it enormously helpful at various stages in my life and career. It’s currently guiding me through the most monumental change I’ve gone through. 

One of my favorite exercises in the book occurs in week 4, and that is the exercise of “Content Deprivation”. She calls it “Reading Deprivation” but she also wrote it in the ’90s, and back then, actual reading was pretty much your only option for taking in content! 

Here’s how it works: 

For 1 entire week, you are not allowed to read anything, nor are you allowed to watch TV. In the 2022 version, that would also include no social media scrolling, podcasts, audiobooks, youtube videos, gaming, or Netflix. 

The idea is that for 1 week, you stop consuming content, and instead, you spend more of your time producing content. That can mean: 

• Finishing that pile of recommendation letters
• Tweaking your website
• Folding the laundry
• Painting the powder room
• Catching up with a friend
• Trying out a new recipe
• Painting plant pots bright yellow

You will feel the results of this exercise both internally and externally. Yes-you will get more accomplished, but it will change the way you think, and the way you see the world around you. Bold statement? Yes. Also: True. 

How Much Newfound Time Do You Think You’ll Have at Your Disposal? 

I dare you to take a guess at how much of a normal day you spend consuming content. If you’re like me, you’ll say something like: “Well, I scroll Instagram or Twitter for a few minutes in the morning, and then I listen to a podcast when I go for a walk, and I watch an episode or two each evening after dinner.” 

And then try it tomorrow. Put the phone down (posting your own content is okay). No clicking on those medium articles that pop into your email. In fact, no clicking on anything that will take you down a content-consuming rabbit hole. No watching someone’s Live that pops up when you were in the middle of something else, no staring at Pinterest for 45 minutes looking for just the right minestrone recipe. You get the idea. You’ll be shocked at just how much time you normally spend consuming content.

Since The Artist’s Way is a book on cultivating creativity, the main point of this exercise is to get us to take creative action in those moments we would otherwise be enjoying someone else’s creative output. But here are 4 additional (and amazing) reasons to do a content deprivation day or week. 

1. Work Gets Done Faster

I’ve always considered myself a pretty efficient worker. I get shit done. But during Deprivation Week I am much better about how I use my time. I realized that I would go to linked in to check someone’s title, and I would get distracted by a notification, click on an article, and 10 minutes later….there I was. Doing and thinking about something completely off task. I’d get right back to my task, and I’d finish it, but usually not without getting distracted by several more emails, videos, and articles first. 

Now? 1 tab at a time unless I am actively using something for immediate, in-the-moment research. The result? Not only does my work get done faster, but my head remains clearer throughout the process. I’m not having to constantly bring myself back to the task at hand. There is less time transitioning from one thought world to another. 

2. The Satisfaction of Crossing Things Off Your Long-Term To-Do List

All of those small bits of time–the 15 minutes before you start teaching, the 10 minutes until dinner is finished when you’re sitting in the car picking someone up? Normally you’d use that time to consume something, right? You’d open up Facebook or Twitter, or you’d have a book with you or a podcast. There is always something there to fill the void. 

But when those things are off-limits? You’ll find yourself remembering that you need to refill that Rx or order more contacts. Make that appointment, water the houseplants, or put that bag of clothes to be donated in the car. As you cross off those little things that have been on your to-do list for months, go ahead and feel like the gold medal olympian you are. You deserve it. 

3. You’ll Feel More Present

I was walking Tango this morning in the Botanic Gardens––one of our favorite spots. I usually spend this time listening to a podcast, feeling very smug that I am accomplishing 3 things at once. Walking Dog. Spending time outside. Learning something new. But today there was no podcast. It was just me and Tango. We watched the butterflies dance around the wildflowers that were blooming in the back trails, I noticed different flowers, people- (and dog-) watched and soaked up the morning sunshine. Getting back in my car, instead of thinking intensely about whatever I had been hearing on the podcast, I felt relaxed and free. 

4. Your Own Brilliant Thoughts Will Surprise and Delight You

This is prime time for your best ideas to make themselves known to you. No longer blocked by information going in, your own thoughts start to pop out. Especially when you’re just about to get bored. Don’t be surprised if sudden thoughts about starting a festival, the most perfect concert program idea, or an idea about a resource you could put together for your students appear out of the blue. 

I’m 3 days into my content deprivation week right now, and besides all of the work I’ve managed to do in half the normal amount of time, I have planted my broccoli seedlings, made vet appointments for the animals, renewed my Rx, had a lovely long chat with an old friend (her life is as interesting as the best Netflix series anyway, so…) cleaned out the guest room, and made a new soup recipe. 

But more importantly, I’ve had some lovely quiet walks, took a long bubble bath, had a 1 person dance party in my kitchen, had interesting conversations with my husband (that didn’t revolve around a TV show), and just got quiet with my own thoughts. I’ve gotten more work done, yes. But I also feel calmer, more relaxed, and more centered. 

What about you? Could you do it? If you really can’t fathom a week (you’d be surprised!) maybe you could do it for a day? Maybe you could get your whole family in on it and report back on the experience. 

Leave a comment and let me know if you do try it, and how it was for you! 

Cheers, 

Kate

Sign up for “The Weekend List”–my weekly newsletter that hits your inbox each Friday with my curated list of things to read, try, ponder, or check out. All geared to help musicians and creatives live their best lives. 

As I wrap up the 4th(!) launch of my group program–Profit Pivot– this week, I’m having some great conversations with the most amazing group of artists and musicians and welcoming them into this world of artistic entrepreneurship. As I talk with them and hear their excitement, their fears, and their “what if I can’t do it” thoughts, I’ve been thinking a lot about my clients–and the past cohorts of Profit Pivot in particular. 

What I find interesting is that, although they all set about to do completely different projects-from private studio re-structuring to summer festivals, to long-term courses to performance series to movement and fitness work, I can point to 5 clear behaviors that the most successful of my clients all shared in common. 

1. They Leaned Into the Group Dynamic

They showed up live when they could, and if they couldn’t, they would take the time to watch the replay video. They still left comments and found a way to engage with the group and with the topic. They formed friendships with other people in the group and would hold each other accountable. They found ways to connect with each member of the group. 

2. They Asked For Help When They Needed It.

From an “I could use a virtual hug today” to a “Does anyone know how to do xyz in Canva?” They didn’t let themselves get unnecessarily stuck or slowed down. This one was the hardest lesson for me to learn as a new entrepreneur. I grew up thinking that to ask for help meant I was bothering someone, and that I should just figure it out on my own. That thinking certainly allowed me to become the independent and resourceful person I am, but it also wasted a TON of my time. Now that I’ve learned how to ask for help, I not only get things done faster, but I get to experience the beauty of human inter-dependency. Something that I realized I had missed out on for way too long. 

3. They Showed Up as the Person They Were Working to Become. 

Different from the “Fake it till you make it” mentality, allowing yourself to take on behaviors, styles, and attitudes that you had assigned “Future You” gets you there sooner. Like my client who told me that her future (successful) self would take a coffee to the beach in the morning and watch the sunrise. Was there something stopping her from doing that tomorrow morning? Nope. She lived near the beach, she had coffee, and she had the time. It just wasn’t something that she ever did.

Once she started doing it, however, she started to FEEL like the more successful version of herself, which made her feel more confident, which helped her to keep taking those bold, courageous actions. 

4. They Trusted and Understood the Ups and Downs of Growth.

There are going to be days when you are so excited to have accomplished something new, and there are going to be days when you are wondering why that post you put out didn’t get any engagement. Or just as you find 2 new students to fill your new studio, someone else backs out. What mattered?–they kept going even when things felt hard. 

5. They Kept Moving Forward.

They were able to get themselves to take the scary, courageous action–even when they were absolutely terrified of failing. And then they KEPT doing it over and over until that muscle became stronger. 

I liken it to performance anxiety. Remember the first recital you played and how you felt so nervous and your stomach was queasy and you told your mom you couldn’t play because you didn’t feel well?

And then the next time, you still felt sick to your stomach and still didn’t want to walk out on stage, but you knew you probably wouldn’t, actually, get sick in the middle of your piece.

And now you’ve done it so many times that the nervous twitter in your stomach is something called “excitement” or “pre-performance energy” and it’s not the most comfortable feeling in the world, but it’s somehow familiar and comforting nonetheless.

Same thing.

The truth is that we are all in the same boat. As creatives, our work comes from a place deep within us. That makes sharing it, talking about it, thinking about it (and god forbid, changing it!) an extremely vulnerable experience. 

For all of us who yearn to do something different, the first courageous step is simply to admit that. To say to yourself “I would like to do X” Maybe it would bring you joy, fulfillment, maybe it’s always been a dream of yours, or maybe it was an idea that came to you last month and won’t leave you alone until you do it. Maybe you just need more money coming in each month. 

The next courageous step is to set about doing it. On your own, if that’s how you work best, or with a coach to help guide you, or with a coach and a group. 

And then, as you can see above, it takes leaning into that vulnerability and finding that courage, asking for support, help, guidance, and trusting the ups and downs. 

The feeling one gets from having accomplished something that was at one point just an idea, just a dream, is simply incredible. Anyone who has experienced it will tell you there are few things better. 

You just have to take that very first step. 

Cheers!

Kate

P.S. If you’d like to take the 2nd step and talk to me about how I might support you with your creative project, you should simply book a free 30-minute consult call with me this week by clicking HERE. You can tell me what you’re thinking about, we can brainstorm a bit together, and talk about what your next steps might look like. 

And if you have no idea WHAT you want to do (you just know you’d like to shift out of your current situation) then check out my free resource on finding your special “thing”: Build Your Best Life Blueprint

I was on a call yesterday with a young cellist. She’s a Junior in high school and wanted a bit of college advice. 

This young woman is a very talented cellist, and also passionate about science–like “oh, the intersection of neuroscience and space exploration, and maybe how music ties into that” kinda science. 

She wanted to know if there was a degree for that. 

From her questions, I could see a clear theme, and it’s a theme I see with a lot of high schoolers thinking about music school. 

What are my career choices here, and which degree program do I fit into? 

Music Major? Double Major? Music Minor? Or just keep playing a bit on the side? 

At first, she seemed a bit frustrated that I kept asking her what she wanted. What kind of career she wanted, and how much cello playing she wanted to do over the next 4 years. Because she didn’t think that what she wanted mattered. She was more concerned with figuring out what the colleges wanted her to do. What did she need to want, in order for the right school to want her? 

It got me thinking about my own decision-making process (WAY back) when I was applying to college. There was one dual degree program with a conservatory. Juilliard and Columbia. That was it, and it was VERY hard to get into. For the rest, the choices were made very clear, and read a bit like a multiple-choice test: (hierarchy included)

• Soloist
• Chamber Musician
• Orchestral Musician
• Teacher of tiny humans (because it was assumed that if you fit into the top 3 categories, teaching older students would be expected of you)
• Music Therapist (even this was brand new at the time)

Being a freelancer wasn’t discussed. Even during my senior year at New England Conservatory, I had no idea what a freelancer was/did/looked like. It just wasn’t even considered. No one in that community WAS a freelancer. 

Things have evolved and progressed quite a lot since then, but it was the pandemic that created the largest shift. 

When the pandemic hit, and everything in the Arts shut down, the large institutions had their hands tied. They were too big and involved too many people and opinions to pivot with any speed, and many of them simply weren’t interested in doing anything differently. They figured they would just wait it out. 

It was the individuals who were able to get creative, come up with new ideas, new solutions, pivot, and get on with it. Suddenly we had new ways of communicating, teaching, learning, performing, attending concerts, writing music, collaborating, etc. It was like a renaissance of sorts. 

And now everything is different. Now we see the power of the individual artist over the large institution. Not that the latter don’t have a place in our traditions, our learning, and our industry, but they are no longer the gatekeepers they once were. 

Now, instead of asking a 17-year-old to check a box on a shortlist of pre-determined career choices. That young person is being given the chance to write their own choice in and to find the school or program(s) that fit their dreams, not the other way around. 

But also….

What are the implications of this shift for those of us who started our careers based on that old list? Many of us assume that we made our bed and now we must lie in it. We had to choose something way back when. Or, maybe you chose one thing but ended up settling for something else that worked out sooner. Maybe it never occurred to you to wonder if you were happy on that path, or whether you could do something else. Maybe you were so busy working and playing and teaching that you didn’t notice how things were changing around you. And then, BAM! Once it was all shut down, and you were left with the space, time, (and more time) to think….you came to some interesting realizations. 

It’s not just you, and it’s not just us over here in the music industry. The Great Resignation is a very real thing that runs across all industries. 

So, whether you are a 17-year-old musician trying to figure out the college question, or a seasoned professional musician. If I were to tell you that there is no longer a mold for you to fit into–that our industry has done away with them for good–what would you choose to do? How might you reinvent yourself? What would you do more of? Less of? 

What would you like to learn, and what would you like to offer? 

I for one, cannot wait to hear about the implications of music on the neuroscience of space exploration. 

Cheers, 

Kate