The One Thing I Hope You’ll Learn This Year.

Happy New Year!

If I could wave my magic wand and change one thing for all of my fellow creatives out there, it would be this: 

To banish your fear of what other people think of you.

Or, more importantly, to convince you to ignore that fear. Because let’s face it, it’s holding you back. We’re human, and humans are, by nature, pretty self-absorbed. We constantly wonder what others are thinking about us and saying about us behind our backs, and while that’s a perfectly normal thing, it, unfortunately, keeps a lot of people from living their lives and working towards their dreams. 

Sound familiar? 

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t because you’re afraid of what others will think?

Yeah, I thought so. 

 

And I GET IT! 

Here’s a blurb from the last newsletter I sent out to my list before the holidays:

“We’re heading into the last of the festive holiday shopping/party/gigging weekends of the year, and it’s a jam-packed weekend of fun. Coffee meet-ups with friends, a boat parade, an ugly sweater party, a chili and cocktails party (best combo ever), and that Christmas Tea I put on my Thrive Fest: Holiday Edition wish list? That’s happening on Sunday, and I can’t wait! We’ll end the weekend with our usual pup quiz (brushing up on Holiday Movie trivia NOW) and then it’s a matter of PCR tests, packing, and flying to the UK for a week with family (fingers crossed!!)”

 

So, that list above? I was so excited about all of it and yet, writing it made me want to throw up. Why? Fear of judgment from my colleagues in the music industry. 

 

• They might be mad at me for going to parties while they have to slog through yet another Sleigh-Ride. 

 

• They might wonder why I don’t have any work this season: “Gosh, is she not getting called to play anymore? Poor thing!”

 

• They might think it’s terrible of me to socialize when Covid is still rampant in so many other parts of the world.

But this fear of judgment is something that we ALL feel, and we feel it often. In fact, it’s the #1 issue that my clients bring up when they are (otherwise) excitedly telling me about an amazing project they’d like to take on. 

“What will THEY think?” 

• “That it’s a stupid idea–if it worked, someone would have done it already!”
• “Who does he think he is, anyway?”
• “Does she really think she can pull that off”
• “No one will ever go for that!” 
• “Do they really think they are as good as so-and-so?”

 

 

And the underlying thought behind all of these? Is the idea that our colleagues want us to just stay in our lane and do what “we’ve” all been doing all these years. 

– Like the drinking buddies who get annoyed when you order a non-alcoholic drink. 

– Like the friends who get mad that you don’t want dessert when you’re trying to lose a few lbs.

And when it comes to our friends and family (those people who are supposed to love, care, and support us?) When they express concern for our new adventures, it’s (almost) always their way of protecting us from potential failure or heartache. 

That’s nice of them.

But I’ll take the failures and heartache if they eventually get me closer to my dreams. 

 

The trick, I’ve decided, isn’t to stop wondering what those voices are saying (because as humans, we’ll never stop wondering.) and it’s not even to stop fearing it (because again…that’s only human.) But rather, it’s to keep moving forward ANYWAY. To basically say “So what?” to each of those imagined comments. 

 

“She’s going to fall on her face!” 

So what? 

 

 

Trust me, I have felt this fear and heard those imaginary (and some not-so-imaginary) comments so loudly at times that I was literally shaking as I hit “GO” on a post, a project, an announcement, etc. 

But every time, I somehow managed to say “So what?” and do it anyway. 

At the end of the day, it’s YOUR life, not theirs. And you’ll be the one with the regrets of unrealized dreams and ideas, not them– ”they” will have forgotten all about it in a week anyway. 

So, in case you feel like you need permission (you don’t!) I’m here to unnecessarily grant it to you. 

 

You have permission to ignore the potential naysayers, the gossipy colleagues, and the overprotective friends and family and Go.For.It. 

 

Whatever it is. 

Maybe you’ll fail. 

Maybe it’ll break your heart. 

Maybe you’ll take a financial hit. 

Maybe it’ll be a huge, life-changing success. 

Maybe it’ll teach you important things about yourself and the world.

Maybe it’s what you were always meant to do. 

And they just didn’t know it yet.

 

Cheers,

 

Kate

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P.P.S. Looking for a bit of New Year Motivation? Grab my free resource on 5 Ways to Boost Motivation.