Last week’s blog post and ensuing social media posts and my weekly FB live session were all about “Getting past our fear of what other people might think” and one of the points I made garnered so many DMs, Emails, and comments that I decided it needed its own post:
“A lot of our fears are based on the idea that we are deviating from a script that was laid out for us when we were children, and the truth is, those scripts were mostly laid out for us by OTHER children, or by adults who were possibly just making an off the cuff comment. Are you really willing to deny yourself happiness and fulfillment because of what 12-year-old Marcy said to you that one summer at camp?”
One reader wrote:
“Oh my god. I had flashbacks to my junior year in high school when my teacher had my friend apply to a prestigious chamber music festival, and suggested only orchestra camps to me.” I was only 16, but ever since then, I’ve been playing out the script that my only value as a musician is if I’m in the middle of a section. That I’m not cut out for chamber music or solo playing. I don’t love orchestral playing, and yet, that’s what I have done for my entire career. Jesus. I was only 16 years old!”
And that’s just the playing side of things. What other scripts have you based your life on?
I’m certain this is a universal issue. Everyone remembers having been labeled “The [Fill in the blank] One” by their family. But I think that in our peculiar classical music industry–where that 12-year-old Marcy who dared to define us as kids is now 42-year-old Marcy playing in the same orchestra as us, it can be hard to outrun it.
When we are concerned about what others will think of our actions, we’re not just conjuring old ghosts of our pasts. We’re talking about our stand partner, our closest friends, and colleagues (same thing!) The people we work with, the people whose opinions we are concerned about, and those ghosts from our past are all the same people.
Well, it’s our life. It’s our movie, and we are the main character of our movie. We are also the director and the producer of the movie. And most importantly, we are the screenwriter, and we get to decide what the arc of the story is. We can write our own Hero’s Journey, and in doing so, we can disregard anything anyone has ever “decided” for and about us.
In rewriting our own scripts, the scary opinions of others, the naysayers, the old ghosts of our past, 12-Year-Old-F-ing Marcy! Are just the obstacles that the Hero (that’s You!) gets to overcome.
Imagine how freeing it would feel to be living out the movie of your dreams? To be on the path that YOU want to be on, the one YOU chose for yourself. Doing what you love, where you want to do it, and with the people you love right alongside you, supporting you and cheering you on.
I think it’s going to be a huge hit.
P.S. Did this resonate with you? If so, I’d love to invite you to what I think will be a helpful 90-minute workshop this month called “Rewriting the Script: How to Create Your Dream Artistic Life”. Like all of my workshops, it’s totally free, and I’m doing it 3 times over the week so you can choose the day and time that works best for you.
I’ll be taking you through a few of my favorite exercises to help you write the script that YOU want to be living, as well as what I have learned to be the 3 Key Factors in making that script your new reality.
If you would like to join me for this workshop, click on any of the times below to save your spot.