This weekend I found myself jumping up from the sofa and suddenly going around the house grabbing anything that wasn’t useful. I felt mildly resentful for the presence of the spare, extra, mismatched utensils in my drawer. I couldn’t live one second longer with the hideous rug my husband had put down in the corner of the living room to protect the floors from his WFH roller chair. (so I replaced it with a less hideous rug that was in the basement.)
Then I hit the dresser drawers, the shoe holder that was starting to rust in Bermuda’s humidity. Plants needed to be re-potted (how could I have not noticed before?) and it went on and on until I ran out of steam.
I’ve always been a fairly clean and tidy person. I make the bed every morning, I go through the house and pick up clothes and glasses that have been left lying around. I’m THAT person. And I love interior design, and keeping a nice home is important to me.
So why the sudden need to rid my house of anything and everything that doesn’t belong?
And why do so many things suddenly “not belong” anymore?
It starts earlier, with a period of time that feels murky. Confused. Like I’m not sure exactly what I’m supposed to do, or I’m more testy than usual, more sensitive. Often, I can’t quite put my finger on anything specific–it’s just that things don’t feel quite “right”.
And this is the first outward action I am able to take. Suddenly it’s as clear as trying on a pair of too-tight pants. What I had was too small for me now. What I was doing before no longer fits.
And as I go through this process of purging my surroundings, the clouds start to lift, and I can see that the growth has been happening this whole time. With the clarity come ideas flowing constantly with the sound of “Pew! Pew!” zinging in the background.
The growth, of course, comes with a certain amount of letting go, of mourning things that will be left behind. Certainly not Hideous Rug, but maybe that favorite top that New Self is ready to admit just isn’t your color, or work Old Self used to do. Possibly even certain friendships (the hardest of all to leave behind…)
Part 2 of this is, of course, how to navigate this new growth. We’re in uncharted territory now, and we’ve outgrown where we were before, so there’s no going back.
Stay tuned next week. I’ll be talking about how to embrace these glorious moments of growth (and how to navigate the awkward bits).
In the meantime, I need to take this Hideous Rug to the dump, and start clearing out the garage!
P.S. Want some help figuring out what you should be doing with your life? Grab this (free) worksheet that will help you gain clarity around what you were meant to offer the world and who you’d like to serve.
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