How to Keep Yourself From Bailing On Your Goals

Hello, friend,  I hope you have had an incredible week. Over the past 7 years of this blog,  we’ve covered a lot of territory, but whether we’re talking about staying healthy while on tour, how to time-block, or set up your teaching studio, the one major theme running through this platform is how Artists and Creatives can Thrive instead of merely Survive.

We cover mindset obstacles like imposter syndrome and resistance, and we talk about tactics like time-blocking and how to create artistic projects. Mostly though, this is a place where, as a creative, you can gain the confidence to craft your career in the most fulfilling and aligned way. You can choose to ignore the old and now aged-out advice that you have to be a slave to your art at all costs, and that you MUST live in NYC,  or London, or Berlin, and that you MUST do things a certain tried and true way. There is just too much evidence to the contrary. This is a place where you get to do your craft at the highest possible level and do it on your terms. 

More often than not, getting from a tired-out career to this new, amazing career of your dreams requires working towards certain goals. And here we are in mid-February when we’re looking in the rear-view mirror at our New Year’s resolutions….sitting there on the dusty road, waving goodbye to us. 

Today we’re talking about how we can keep ourselves from bailing on those goals. And the 3 things that you can do to stay the course and get to that coveted Point B.

Before we get into it though, I want to remind you that doors are open for my 6-Month Guided Program, Profit Pivot. This program is perfect for any creative with an idea for an artistic project–a workshop, class, festival, ensemble, chamber music series, or artists retreat… Anything at all!

We’ll take you step-by-step to get that project out of your head, and into the world.

Enrollment closes on Friday, February 23rd so get in there ASAP and check it out. Head over to KateKayaian.com for all of the details! 

In the meantime, go ahead and grab your favorite beverage, find a cozy spot, and let’s dive into the 3 things that will keep you from bailing on your goals this year. 

 

 

1. Casting Your Vote

The author, James Clear, writes in Atomic Habits: “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your identity.” 

I like to take this one step further. When I’m trying to reach a goal, I take the time to visualize the version of me that has met the goal. I see how THAT Kate is dressed, what she looks like, who she’s with, what she’s doing. Etc. For instance, let’s take my goal of finishing my book. I can close my eyes and imagine myself on my book tour, seeing my book on stands in those airport shops, signing books, and taking photos with people who read and loved the books–the works–I can see it all so clearly. 

And then I imagine the version of me that doesn’t finish the book. Walking by airport bookstores wistfully, bitter, staring at that folder on my desktop with a half-finished manuscript year after year. Feeling disappointed in myself. 

Once I have a very clear picture of both versions of Kate in my head, any decision I make around the book–am I going to write today? Have I sent the proposal? Will I apply for that writing retreat?–will be a vote for one of those 2 versions. 

So it’s not JUST that a vote to write is a vote for Kate Kayaian, author of a NYT best-seller (go big or go home, right?). But the decision to NOT write. To put it off just one more day, to wait until I have more time, to choose to scroll Instagram instead, is a Vote for Sad, Bookless Kate. 

Somehow the stakes are higher. It’s no different than politics, right? Your vote DOES matter–not just to elect the person you want, but also to keep the other person from winning instead.

 

 

2. Surround Yourself With People Who Are Crushing That Same Goal

This is important. This is why we encourage talented young musicians to attend a summer festival, young ballet dancers are shipped off to intensives. Every group has their own version. Being surrounded by people who share that goal inspires us and motivates us. You do NOT want to be the only kid in the dorm NOT practicing, and when you see other students push past struggles and obstacles, and see the more advanced students performing at a level you suddenly dream of reaching yourself? That’s magical. 

And it’s the same for adults. Once we have our degrees and settle down into our careers, we start to think we can do anything on our own. But we are missing out on that magic. The writer’s retreat. The artists’ open studios, the weekend a professional musician spends at Tanglewood Aspen, or Verbier, suddenly re-invigorated. 

If you want to start running, join a morning runner’s club. If you want to learn to paint, join a group painting class. It’s universal. 

Sometimes it’s not easy to do it in person. Gardening is a difficult thing to do in a group setting because it’s very difficult to MOVE one’s garden around. But gardening communities run deep in the form of YouTube channel comment sections, seed-sharing get-togethers, and plant sales. 

Whether it’s an in-person retreat or an online gathering of like-minded souls, Get yourself surrounded by the people who are going to motivate and inspire you to reach those goals. 

 

 

3. Lock it In and Make it a Non-Negotiable

When I was growing up, I wanted to quit the cello so many times. It wasn’t that I hated the cello (I loved it!) It was usually because I didn’t want to practice, or had to give up a friend’s birthday party for group class…the usual story. There would be crying, tantrums, begging––anything to get my mother to let me quit, but she was German and stubborn, and she would stand there staring at me (completely unmoved by my suffering) and tell me that I had to keep playing until I was 18. At 18, I could do what I wanted. 

It was non-negotiable. Not up for discussion. So I practiced, and I went to group class, and I improved, and I made close friends, and before I knew it, I didn’t want to quit anymore. 

There were other moments when I kept myself on track with a goal by locking it in financially. When I lived in Miami, I wanted to start drawing. I bought some art supplies and a couple of books and figured I would teach myself. It would be nice to spend a couple of hours after rehearsal in my room, or out by the pool, drawing. What actually happened was I would spend the entire rehearsal thinking about heading home to draw, and then, walking out of rehearsal, friends would invite me over, or they’d be heading out for some sushi and well, there went the drawing date. 

It wasn’t working. Weeks went by and I had ZERO drawings in my sketchbook. So I used the very little spare money I had and enrolled in an art class. The class was non-refundable, and obviously, there were no make-up sessions if we missed a class, so I got myself there week after week. Even when I didn’t feel like it. Even when all of my friends were heading out for sushi or to the beach. 

One of my new habits is to do situps before bed. For the first few weeks, I would reason with myself EVERY NIGHT. I was tired. My abs still hurt from the night before. I was already in bed. It was too late, and I needed to get to sleep. Luckily, I was able to argue myself into doing the situps, but eventually, I just got tired of the nightly debate. I decided it was non-negotiable, and no matter what, the sit-ups happen. 

What can YOU do to lock something in and make it non-negotiable? A friendly wager? An accountability partner who is as stubborn as my mother was? Or an investment that will put some higher stakes on the work?  I swear some of my clients are as successful as they are Purely so that they can make a return on their coaching investment with me! 

So there you have a few techniques that you can use to keep yourself from bailing on your goals. Create a clear vision of that goal-achieving version of you, and vote for THEM. Surround yourself with people reaching for similar goals. And find a way to lock it in and make it non-negotiable. 

I can’t wait to hear how you have crushed your 2024 goals. 

Cheers,

Kate x

P.S. If this post resonated with you and you’d like an easy way to tackle all 3 of these things so that you don’t end up bailing on that important 2024 goal, Check out Profit Pivot. Joining a group program like this is a great way to lock in your commitment, you’ll DEFINITELY be surrounded by other people who have similar goals, and what an amazing Vote for the person you are trying to grow into! If you’d like to hop on a call and chat about it, you can schedule a time for that here.