Course Correcting Part 2: Navigating Change

In last week’s blog post, we talked about what it feels like to realize your life or career has somehow gotten off track. We’re not necessarily talking about a majorly negative thing, here, though it could also be that. For most of us though, it’s more a matter of realizing that, one innocent decision at a time, you started heading in an unintentional direction

You took a job teaching beginners at a community program because you needed some extra income, and here you are…20 years later, teaching beginners at 5 community programs, and NOT a tenured professor at a prestigious Arts school as you had originally planned (and still want).

Or you joined a co-op with some friends and are realizing that although you’ve had a blast making art and spending time with them, it’s never really been YOUR art, and your work isn’t giving you that sense of creative fulfillment you’ve been looking for. 

We talked about

• Identifying it: How to know you’re on the wrong path, 
• How to decide the right path or at least the right direction
• Identifying your steps, or at least your very first one
• And Choosing your method. 

If this is all resonating with you, I would recommend hitting pause on this and going to last week’s blog post first. This one is going to pick up where we left off: 

Namely, How to navigate the switch over to your desired path. We’ll talk about what you can expect, who and what you need to take with you, and my favorite tips and tricks to get yourself fully on that right path. 

 

 

How You Start Depends On Your Chosen Method

I’ll use my example of leaving my teaching job/orchestral freelance career to illustrate. 

If I had chosen to “Burn the Ships” (which I did not, btw) It would have looked like me submitting my letter of resignation soon after I had that fateful conversation about my retirement party. I would have said. STOP! NOPE! NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE! And I would have resigned. This would have been a problem for the school, but it would have forced me to figure out VERY QUICKLY, how to make up that significant amount of money going into my bank account each month. It would have spurred me into immediate action. 

With the “Abra Cadabra” method, I would have resigned from the school but told no one about it. It would come out by the end of the school year and there would be a thoughtful decision, but key people would have been left out of the loop for months. I would have simply declined each and every gig offer that came my way–telling them I was busy or already booked, anything but that I didn’t want to play for them anymore. 

Quiet Quitting: This is the rather immature way to go about things, right? And it would have looked like me deciding that this was all dumb, and not for me, but I was stuck for the time being, so fine, I’ll show up and do my job, but I’m not volunteering or taking on any extra work. I will never be there a second before I absolutely need to be, and I am out the door as fast as I can each day. As far as the performance side of things. I’ll look at the music, and go to rehearsals, but again, I’m not socializing, I’m not there early, contributing to the sense of community, and I’m out the door the second the rehearsal or concert is over. Because I have better things to do with my time now, right? 

I chose to do The Subtle Pivot. I knew in early November that I was going to move to Bermuda–not full-time, but enough that I couldn’t continue to do my M-F teaching job. When my husband and I got married the summer before, we honestly weren’t sure whether I was going to move there, or he was going to join me in Boston. But circumstances became such that in November, a clear decision was made. I let my bosses know and fully committed to staying the rest of the year. I was giving myself an 8-month runway to make this switch over to a different career path, but I wasn’t going to sacrifice the work I was currently doing in order for it to happen. 

 

 

 

Here are a few things I did that really helped. 

1. I Prepared myself for the financial change

I knew that although I would be moving to Bermuda, I was NOT going to sell my condo in Boston (more on that later). That meant that we would still have 2 sets of monthly expenses, even though I was giving up 50% of my income. I decided to increase the percentage of my paychecks that went into the school’s Tiaa-Cref retirement fund each month so that it wasn’t a huge jump right away, but by the time I finished, not much was going into my checking account. I had 8 months to adjust to losing the monthly income. The bonus, of course, was that I was investing that money, and every time I look at that account I’m grateful for that decision! 

 

I took full advantage of the time I still had at the school

One of my answers to the “No BS What will it take?” question we discussed in Part 1, was that I knew it would be helpful to have a CD under my belt. I had been working on some French duo rep with a pianist friend and we had a few performances under our belt, so we made a plan to record it over the school’s spring break. The recital hall had fantastic acoustics, and the school would be empty. I also applied for and received a faculty grant to help cover some of the costs. I built my website there, and I started putting my ducks in a row. 

 

I committed to being fully present at the school even though I was transitioning out of it

I arrived first thing in the morning to practice before morning assembly, and instead of leaving campus when I had free time (again, I wasn’t full-time, so I had quite a bit of free time) I would stay in my office and work on booking concerts. I was able to do work for future me, but I was always available if a student or colleague needed something. 

 

I instated a policy for my performance work

First of all, I could keep doing any gig I wanted to do for any reason—my friends were playing, I liked the rep, I wanted the money, or I just felt like it. Beyond that, I could say no to a gig only if I had already booked enough solo work that covered the performance fee. If I was giving up a gig that would be $800, I had to have booked a recital that would pay that same amount. This kept me financially sound and encouraged me to send out those (totally terrifying at the time) recital proposals. 

 

 

What to Expect

Everyone’s experience is different, of course, but here are a few things that seem to be universal. 

 

1. You will spend a lot more time worrying about what other people think of this switch than anyone will ever spend thinking about what you are doing with your life. 

Seriously. All sorts of thoughts and imagined conversations will go through people’s heads as they navigate personal change and growth. The truth is, and I have several blog posts and podcast episodes that touch on this, that most people will a) either be supportive of your efforts, b) not really care at all. Or c) decide that this is preposterous and you must be gossiped about at great length. I can promise you that those c people are few and far between, and no one really takes them seriously. 

 

2. A surprising number of people will ask you for advice about it

They will come crawling out of the woodwork, cornering you in dark alleyways to say “hey—me too! How can I do that?” most surprising of all, is that many of those people will be the same people that were in category c above, publicly crying foul about your actions. 

 

3. You will have moments of sheer panic about your decision 

Our brains want to keep us safe. It is their job to keep us safe. Uncertainty—Unknowns = UNSAFE to our brains. If we don’t know how the story ends? UNSAFE.  So any time we set out to do something new, our brains will do everything in their power to keep us from doing it.

Add to that, the issue that you probably DO enjoy some aspects of your current situation. Maybe it’s a whole bunch of students that you adore. Or maybe it’s a group of amazing colleagues that you will miss seeing on a regular basis. Maybe, like me, it’s both.  We’re not always running away from a harsh stick. Sometimes we’re running towards a carrot. Our brains, however, will tell us to ignore the carrot. They’d prefer it if we just kept doing what we’ve been doing, day in and day out. We already know how that works, we know how it ends. It’s nice and safe.  That brain interference feels a lot like panic. Just breathe and ignore it. 

 

4. You will also have moments of excitement and freedom

When you are moving toward something that is more in alignment with your goals, values, or dreams, it feels awesome. I remember reading the email inviting me to play on that first recital series that wasn’t local, wasn’t run by someone I knew, it was just a series I had sent a concert proposal to, and they invited me to perform on their next season. It. Was.Thrilling. 

 

5. Those two feelings will alternate on a near-daily basis for longer than you expect

Both before and after your pivot, you’ll oscillate between highs and lows. It’s normal. Just keep moving forward, one step at a time. Warn your loved ones and let them know it’s simply a part of the process and to just allow you to go back and forth. A Lot. 

 

 

The final aspect I want to talk about when it comes to Navigating these changes in career or life paths is the people you need to bring with you. Whether literally or figuratively, having these characters around will make the whole process infinitely easier and more enjoyable. 

 

1. The Cheerleader

This is the person who is going to tell you every day how great you are for doing this, and that it’s going to work out brilliantly. We all need a cheerleader. Maybe it’s your BFF, or your mom, or your co-worker. It doesn’t really matter–just as long as they bring the pom poms. 

 

2. The Guide

This is the mentor who has gone before you. It might be your old teacher, or a colleague or boss who did a similar thing once, or your friend’s dad. It could, of course, be a coach or a course that you enroll in to help guide you through. You can use me and this podcast as your guide if it helps you, but don’t go it alone. There’s no reason to wing it. 

 

3. The Mirror

This person provides a safe space to bounce ideas and thoughts around. They’ll help you navigate those low periods of self-doubt and will allow you to talk through ideas and plans. Unlike the cheerleader who is there to provide that much-needed positive energy, The Mirror is more introspective and grounding. 

 

4. Your Future Self/Inner Mentor

This is your potential self that I talked about in Episode 19. This is the version of you who has already DONE all of the things you’re dreaming about doing. They are there to offer you evidence of success, and to help you make decisions. Find your way to check in with them often, whether through meditation, journaling, or some other format. 

 

 

The hardest part of all of this is to admit that you are not where you want to be. It’s not your fault. We all make decisions one at a time, and it’s hard to know where it’s all going to lead. And more often than not, all of those things you were doing will serve future you in some important ways. Every single thing you have done in your life has gotten you to where you are right now. And even if you’re on the wrong path, at least you know that it’s possible to get yourself on the right one. 

I hope these stories and examples have been helpful. I share them as proof that you can do this too. And while I can’t promise it will be easy, and I can’t promise that there won’t be tears, with a bit of guidance and forethought, they will eventually be tears of joy. 

You deserve to be doing exactly what you want to be doing, my friend. You know as well as I do, that the world will be better for it. 

Cheers,

Kate x